General discussion

Locked

The Mambo Friday Yuk

By gadgetgirl ·
Tags: Off Topic
Ok, all, I need your help here.

Mambo has stated definitively that he is joining the Impure Brigade, as stated here:

http://techrepublic.com.com/5208-6230-0.html?forumID=102&threadID=207806&messageID=2149929

Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but I personally would particularly miss that red glow in the western sky.

So to see if we can shock him back into his rightful role as the Guardian of the Pure, this is going to be a Very Impure Yuk.....

Lets restore that warm glow to DMambo!

]:)

------------------

A man wearing a balaclava bursts into a sperm bank with a shot gun. "Open the f*****g safe!" he yells at the girl behind the counter. "But we're not a real bank" replies the girl. "This is a sperm bank, we don't hold money". "Don't argue just open the safe or I'll **** your f*****g head off!" She obliges and opens the safe door.

"Take one of the bottles and drink it!"

"But it's full of sperm" the girl replies nervously.

"Don't argue, just drink it" he says. She prises off the cap and gulps it down.

"Take out another one and drink it too!" he demands. The girl drinks another one. Suddenly the guy pulls off the balaclava and to the girl's amazement it's her husband.......

"Not that f*****g difficult is it?" he says


ARE YOU: IN LOVE, LUST OR MARRIED?

LOVE......................when your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST.......................when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE............when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care.
LOVE......................when intercourse is called making love.
LUST.......................all other times.
MARRIAGE............what's intercourse?
LOVE......................when you argue over how many children to have.
LUST.......................when you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE............when you argue over money.
LOVE......................when you share everything you own.
LUST.......................when you think twice about giving your partner bus money.
MARRIAGE............when the bank owns everything.
LOVE......................when it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST.......................when the relationship is over if you don't climax.
MARRIAGE............what's a climax?
LOVE......................when you phone each other just to say "G'day".
LUST.......................when you phone each other just to organize sex.
MARRIAGE............when you phone each other to find out what time your son's game starts.
LOVE......................when you write poems about your partner.
LUST.......................when all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE............when all you write is checks.
LOVE......................when you show concern for your partners' feelings.
LUST.......................when you couldn't give a ****.
MARRIAGE............when your only concern is what's on TV.
LOVE......................when your farewell is "I love you darling ..."
LUST.......................when your farewell is "So, same time next week?"
MARRIAGE............when your farewell is silent.
LOVE......................when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST.......................when you only ever see each other in the bedroom.
MARRIAGE............when you never see each other awake.
LOVE......................when your heart flutters every time you see them.
LUST.......................when your groin twitches every time you see them.
MARRIAGE............when your wallet empties every time you see them.
LOVE......................when nobody else matters.
LUST.......................when nobody else knows.
MARRIAGE............when everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.
LOVE......................when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
LUST.......................when it's just the same mushy old ****.
MARRIAGE............when you never listen to music.
LOVE......................when breaking up is something you try not to think about.
LUST.......................when staying together is something you try not to think about.
MARRIAGE............when just getting through today is your only thought.
LOVE......................when you're interested in everything your partner does.
LUST.......................when you're only interested in one thing.
MARRIAGE............when you're not interested in what your partner does and the one thing you're interested in is your golf score.


Small problems

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms.
The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries of "Here I come again ...ONE, TWO, THREE...UUH!" all night long.
In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?" The first mutters, "It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get a hard on."
The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?"
"I couldn't even get on the f...ing bed

and finally, one for the boys! <snigger!>

CAUGHT CHEATING

A woman came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman.
With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged her husband down the stairs to the garage and put his manhood in a vice. She then secured it tightly and removed the handle.
Next she picked up a hacksaw.
The husband terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut it off are you?"
The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, said, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."

Happy Friday, and wonderful weekend, peeps!

GG

]:)

This conversation is currently closed to new comments.

41 total posts (Page 5 of 5)   Prev   03 | 04 | 05
Thread display: Collapse - | Expand +

All Comments

Collapse -

The Royal Majestic Gadget Girl the Pure One?

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Notacatinhellschance!

:^0 :^0 :^0 :^0 :^0

Now that I've got that out of my system what do you think poor old DM would do and could he handle the fact that GG has turned all pure on him?

Personally I think that he likes complaining about your membership of the Gutter Brigade so he has something to complain about. After all a Good Girl would never stoop to that level would they.

But as my father used to say There is no such thing as a Good Girl there are only Bad Girls and Better Girls That's better at being Bad. So GG it's hard wired into your brain to be bad and there is absolutely nothing that you can do to change your ways. :)

Kind of makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside doesn't it knowing that it's not your fault that you are who you are. B-)

Col ]:)

Back to After Hours Forum
41 total posts (Page 5 of 5)   Prev   03 | 04 | 05

Related Discussions

Related Forums