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The Yuk is Up! 20/01

By gadgetgirl ·
(and yes, that is the CORRECT way to write the date!!!)

Had to pass this one on - it's right up my sense of humour street.....

(and yes, that's the CORRECT way to spell humour.....)

Have a wonderful Friday, and a good weekend, all!


Three little ducks go into a Bar ??????????

"Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck.

?Huey,? was the reply

"How's your day been, Huey?"

"Great - lovely day, had a ball, been in and out of
puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" said Huey.

"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, "Hi, and what's your name?"

"Dewey," came the answer from duck number two.

"So how's your day been, Dewey?" he asked.

Great - lovely day, I've had a ball too been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?"

The bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So, you must be Louie?"

"No," she said, batting her eyelashes.

"My name is Puddles."


GG

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Col......

by gadgetgirl In reply to DMambo of course you real ...

only if given half the chance, my dear.....!!!

(and I'm ignoring ^2 - too young, to much to teach 'em, and I don't want to be accused of cradle snatching)



GG

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Cradle Snatching?

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Col......

Now there is a term that I haven't heard used in a very long while mainly because the last time I used it against She Who Must Be Obeyed she beat me nearly to death and unlike some people mainly female I'm not into pain & suffering.

She's just under 6 months older than me and I can't help dropping that term occasionally along with Disobedient Wench. However I've learned never to threaten her with violence in a public place as it can be taken the wrong way, I still have memories of an 80+ year old Dear beating me up with her umbrella and the Police wanting me to lay charges of assault against her.

Anyway GG it's good to see that you have finally forgiven Neil for standing you up have you inflicted enough suffering or are you just too sick to care about punishing him? :)

Col ]:)

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Doesn't anybody ever think about ME?

by Jessie In reply to The Yuk is Up! 20/01

jd is the only one apparently who even cares that I've been MIA for so long (Oh whoa is me!) as he actually took the time out of his busy schedule to email me.

So, since tomorrow is my thirty-tooth burpday, I thought I'd come back and join in on a yuk. And since it's my children who've been keeping me away :) (I'm a mom, I can blame the kids if I want to) I thought the following funnies might tickle a few of ya'll.


********************

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later, "Da-ad..." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later... "Da-aaad...." "What??" "I'm Thirsty!Can I have a drink of water?" "I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!" Five minutes later......"DAAAA-AAAAD......" "WHAT!!" "When you come in to spank me...can you bring a drink of water?"

********************

One summer evening, during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was tucking a small boy into bed. As she was about to turn off the light he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said " I have to sleep in Daddy;s room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

********************

During the Sunday morning service all the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress, and as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastors clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my mommy says it's a ***** to iron."

********************

Finding one of her students making faces at the others on the playground, Mrs. Smith stopped quickly to reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told tha if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and it would stay like that." Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Mrs. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."

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Of course we all missed you!

by neilb@uk In reply to Doesn't anybody ever thin ...

We just thought that you were too busy for TR and would get back to us when you could.

Anyway, nice to see you!

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I was... very busy!

by Jessie In reply to Of course we all missed y ...

... going slowly and quietly (ok, not quietly, but maybe muffled somewhat) insane... ok, maybe just insanER...

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HAPPY BURFFDEE!

by gadgetgirl In reply to Doesn't anybody ever thin ...

And yes, I do often wonder how the honorary niece and yourself are getting along!

(Been AWOL off and on since before Xmas - life, eh?!)

So, that makes me ** years, and 24 days older than you......! Hope you have a wonderful one - got anything planned? Arranged babysitters?

GG

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The honorary niece

by Jessie In reply to HAPPY BURFFDEE!

is cruising right along... she started crawling about a month ago (yes, she was only 5.5 months old) and has since been driving the 2 and 4 year olds completely insane... or insnae (Is Oz still around?) Constant are the cries of "MOMMY, baby DeLenn is getting my <insert miscellaneous toy or food item here> and she's gonna mess it up!!!

Nothing planned for my burpday as of yet, that I know of... but who knows... although the hubby did look pretty surprised yesterday when I mentioned that I'd be a year older on Saturday.

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Haaaappy Burfday ...

by stargazerr In reply to Doesn't anybody ever thin ...

Welcome Back ... Even though I have never talked to you before .. But Hi, I am stargazer, formerly know as us_geeks_rule ...

Hope you have a blast tommorow ...

]:)

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Thank you

by Jessie In reply to Haaaappy Burfday ...

I do remember your us_geeks_rule byline. I think you were just getting started with posting regularly when I was on my way to going AWOL.

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Thats why .....

by stargazerr In reply to Thank you

I wondered where I had seen those hands before ...

]:)

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