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The zombie attacks are coming

By Michael Jay ·
Tags: Off Topic
or so thinks this Leicester citizen who sent this letter to the City Council;

Dear Leicester City Council,

Can you please let us know what provisions you have in place in the event of a zombie invasion? Having watched several films it is clear that preparation for such an event is poor and one that councils throughout the kingdom must prepare for.

Please provide any information you may have.

Yours faithfully,

Concerned Citizen

Made me laugh, but then I thought, are people really that dumb?

Story here;

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I have only one thing to provide...

by NexS In reply to The zombie attacks are co ...

<a href=""> The Zombie Survival Guide - Available at all <i>zombie safe</i> book stores...</a>

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Most defiantly a Must Read Book

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to I have only one thing to ...

After all how do you know what to do when the Zombies are on the March looking for Votes?

Look at the way that they grab small children and suck their brains out through their faces. Probably more importantly why do otherwise sensible women allow Politicians/Zombies to indecently assault their children like that?

Personally I just think a 50MM Machine Gun loaded with Silver Bullets is the best way to deal with the Zombies when they are moving. May not kill them outright but when there are bits of them spread over a .5 mile radius they dont bother anyone once the Mechanical Street sweepers have been past.

Currently in AU the Opposition Leader Tony Rabbit wants a pleb er cite which comes in at only a few ten million dollars each to discuss a Carbon Trading Scheme/Tax. But he doesnt want to have to abide by the decision of the people so if it was to pass and he somehow became Prime Minister as apposed to Julia Gill ard he could do as the Sweet Julia wants to s She pleases.

Both of them and their so called Parties like if you where ever invited to one of those crowds with the excuse that they where having a party anyone not in Politics would go are capable of doing is spending the peoples money and voting themselves Pay Increases. All Politicians in history have proved singularly inept at doing anything which doesnt benefit themselves.

All Politicians just want to suck the life out of the nation and take it to their level below the grave sites which is way down below the gutter where the rest of us live.

Yea right more waste from the Federal Government as if both sides have not created more than enough waste in the last decade to last us all the next century.


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As George Orwell once wrote...

by NexS In reply to Most defiantly a Must Rea ...

Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Even though they don't technically have 'Absolute Power', they sure-as-rain-is-wet can twist the system to emulate it!

I'd complain about what they do and do not do to benefit me, the employee of Australia, but truth be told, I'd be a much worse leader than any of them.
Another truth?
We don't have it so bad. Our culture and our financial standing (at the moment) is above that of the USA and other first world countries. We've actually got it pretty good. <i>(edited):</i> Especially our healthcare. I mean to say that I cringe at the thought of the Americans who need to have health insurance just to be sure that, if something went wrong, their family could go to the hospital to be treated without being thrown to the nearest backyard doctor.

Let's just wait for the day that zombies take over and we can sit back and say, "I told you we should have created the "Alice" project..."

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Lord Acton

by santeewelding In reply to As George Orwell once wro ...

Published it first. Orwell repeated it.

Doesn't diminish your comment one bit.


"Said" to "published". I'm old, but not that old that I was there to hear it.

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That sort of reminds me of a girl in the Phillippines

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to As George Orwell once wro ...

She was complaining of stomach pains and went to the Hospital where she was told you have a Infected Appendix and it need to be removed. What Health Insurance do you have?

When she replied none she was told to go home and die there so as to not mess up the Hospital and add costs to her family.

What we have in Au isnt because of the Pollies but in spite of them. We have a decent system here because of the Bureaucrats have reigned in the excesses of all of the Flavours of Pollies that we have here.

While Im no lover of the Bureaucrats they have at the very least contained the worst excesses of all of the Pollies.

As one new Prime Minister was told The Queen wants the business of Government to continue even if there is a Change of Government, so we have the Bureaucratic System .

Sort of puts the Pollies squarely into their place if you ask me.

I however would be a Great Leader the first Issue to be put out by me would be Off with their Heads and then we'll see what happens. :^0


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If that's the case

by NexS In reply to That sort of reminds me o ...

I'll purchase the hairspray and decorated dress, AND deliver it to you in person.

I doubt, though, that I can find a flammingo willing enough to belt its way through the hedgehogs that I'll import for you.

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I plan to be bitten by a werewolf long before zombies become a problem...

by Slayer_ In reply to The zombie attacks are co ...

As our previous discussion proved, Werewolves are better :)

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I think we're safe, down here in AUS

by NexS In reply to I plan to be bitten by a ...

All the zombies, werewolf and vampire action happens in the States and Europe.

No-one is willing to catch a plane or a boat just to infect a bunch of 'convicts'!

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Besides the last thing that is needed here is a

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to I think we're safe, down ...

Illegal Immigrant who doesn't pay their arrival Tax when they arrive unannounced on a boat isn't it? :^0

The sensible ones will stay away in droves and the few that may be interested in coming will not be dealt with by the People Smugglers as they would be open to attack if they didn't do as they where contracted to do. After all no matter what you think those smuggling people are not stupid.


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by NexS In reply to Besides the last thing th ...

Beautiful piece of writing, in both honesty and aptness.

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