Question

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #2245991

    This time

    Locked

    by santeewelding ·

    It is a slender, and uncharacteristically not-plump cricket, pasted against a wall next to the monitor with the temperature in the office reading, 59.8 degrees Fahrenheit.

    I asked, but the cricket did not respond:

    “What seems to be the matter?”

    ______

    definite to indefinite

All Answers

  • Author
    Replies
    • #2878718

      Clarifications

      by santeewelding ·

      In reply to This time

      Clarifications

    • #2878709

      Ding am sich

      by ansugisalas ·

      In reply to This time

      It tried/tries it’s best to respond, even before you asked.
      Soliciting the question, mutely too, is a speech act in itself.
      Which is why you gave the answer in the body of the question…

    • #2878704

      Well quite simple really

      by oh smeg ·

      In reply to This time

      You allowed the Fly Paper to come into contact with the wall again didn’t you?

      One side is stuck to the wall and the cricket is on the other side and has been for days that’s why it’s no longer fat and in the process of starving to death. 😉

      Col

    • #2878697

      Pasted

      by michael kassner ·

      In reply to This time

      Brings to mind that abuse may have occurred, precipitating the non-response.

      • #2878647

        Pasted,

        by seanferd ·

        In reply to Pasted

        or perhaps plastered?

        • #2878642

          Me

          by santeewelding ·

          In reply to Pasted,

          Or, the cricket?

        • #2878637

          Cricket.

          by seanferd ·

          In reply to Me

          The cricket is (was?) the one on the wall next to the monitor, right?

          But since you ask, Happy New Year from UTC -0500. [_]3

        • #2878601

          The cricket

          by santeewelding ·

          In reply to Cricket.

          When I asked, expressed indifference to UTC and GMT.

    • #2878691

      Silence is the mark

      by michael jay ·

      In reply to This time

      of a cricket who is hungry, offer some food, I believe they eat almost anything organic.

      • #2878679

        RE: I believe they eat almost anything organic

        by oh smeg ·

        In reply to Silence is the mark

        Actually that should read

        I believe they eat almost anything organic [b]but have a particular preference for Welders as the Flesh is well cooked and tender.[/b] 😉

        Col

        • #2878676

          Poor Santee

          by michael jay ·

          In reply to RE: I believe they eat almost anything organic

          cricket food, who would have thunk it.

        • #2878654

          Or maybe

          by oh smeg ·

          In reply to Poor Santee

          The Cricket is just there for the Hallucinogenic Effects of the Welding Smoke.

          I’ve been told by people with bulk loads of Experience that PlyCraft Rods will do things like this. Apparently the smell of the Welded Wood attracts most of the Organic Matter Eating Creatures.

          Of course when Santee starts attracting members of the Large Cat Families he’ll have a real problem. But if he stops using the BeefCraft and LambCraft Rods he shouldn’t have to many members of the Large Cat Families attracted. :^0

          Of course if he continues to use those KidneyCraft and TrifleCraft Rods that may not be the case. But I suppose it [b]All Depends[/b] on how the waste gas is extracted and where it ends up in the neighborhood.

          I personally prefer to weld metals only but some people are really strange and want to weld anything that they get their hands on. Apparently they like to see the effects of Large Electric Currents being passed through different substances. 😉

          Col

        • #2878646

          Welding

          by seanferd ·

          In reply to Or maybe

          lets the blue smoke out of everything, yet somehow it works.

        • #2878644

          Hmm

          by santeewelding ·

          In reply to Welding

          Lets the blue issue, or blue smoke issue?

          Welders are sticklers for accuracy.

        • #2878641
          Avatar photo

          Could be either

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to Hmm

          It all depends on what you where doing just before noticing the Cricket. 😀

          Just like a bloke who I’ve just got off the phone from. He hit me with Why is my computer installing drivers that are not Windows Compatible and why doesn’t the AV Product work any longer.

          My Computer is working properly I’ve just been into the Bank and transfered money.

          So why am I now in the process of Running Away from Home? :^0

          Col

        • #2878640

          Colin

          by santeewelding ·

          In reply to Hmm

          You just haven’t been at it long enough. I mean, dealing with customers.

          Comes a day when you don’t up with it put. It’s the day when you tell them, “You have your head up your ass.”

          Now that I think on it, that day long ago, coincided with the beginning of a long decline in the level of business I do.

          Piss off just a few more and I can retire.

        • #2878635

          I meant the smoke,

          by seanferd ·

          In reply to Hmm

          from welding, but blue from welders I find to be equally plausible, if welders are humans. (Although some welders, I swear, are a little bit more than human.)

          An interesting side trip that I never would have experienced if I had been less ambiguous and said “magic smoke” instead. With computers, for example, when you let the magic smoke out, it is a Bad Thing, a usually the item is toast. When welders let all that magic smoke out of metal (or plywood), it is a Good Thing that makes the welded thing work. Astonishing!, I tells ya.

          Got to watch some rather good welders this summer past. Right outside my door. Popcorn and polarized sunglasses.

    • #2878652

      Perhaps

      by boxfiddler ·

      In reply to This time

      it is your Jiminy.

      • #2878643

        I have my people working on this

        by santeewelding ·

        In reply to Perhaps

        When they report, I’ll know, too.

    • #2878625

      It could be a bug bug

      by neilb@uk ·

      In reply to This time

      Check for cameras and microphones.

      • #2878623

        Now that you mention it

        by santeewelding ·

        In reply to It could be a bug bug

        There was a microelectromechanical aspect to it.

        Only after did I speak did it twitch and jerk, with barely audible click and whir, and move unnaturally away.

        You may well be right. Maybe I was not addressing a fellow creature of God.

    • #2878609

      Its probably a baby cricket

      by av . ·

      In reply to This time

      The poor thing is probably cold and trying to get warm by hanging out near the monitor.

      I’m sure it didn’t answer because the parents probably told it never to talk to two-legged strangers or maybe it had a little sip of alcohol when you weren’t looking and actually got plastered up against the wall. Its stone-cold drunk.

      AV

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