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What is your best and great user

By zlitocook ·
Stories from 2005? I asked the same thing last year and still laugh or just shake my head at some of them.
I will start by telling one of my own user stories. I was a new employee at a small bank and had the pleasure to upgrade all the old servers to Win 2000! There were 11 servers and six were old Unix servers/ pre 98, well they ran all the banking services from them. All the data bases were not uopgradeable to Windows of any type. I told the CIO that we needed to export the data to a file and try to import to Excel and try to import to the new servers.
He only wanted his files saved and some things on the sever saved. I thought he was talking about his own laptop. But he said no I should not worry about the banks information because it is backed up ever night and can be access any time.
Well the back ups were never checked and were blank, I tried to show him this but was told to compleat the project. Well I left the bank the next week before the bank was examaned by the FDIC.

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My eyes and ears

by johno In reply to Dumb Users part 2

I dont subscribe too dumb users, just people who struggle with computers. Anyhow before we get into that debate, i had a custemer who was a mature 60 in the late 70's who ended up doing her husbands books on COMPUTER. Background. he wore a UK demob suit circa 1945 when he came to the demo. I nice guy but a little tightarsed. His wife, a good jewish mama, was roped into been the punch operator. well she tried hard, and i enjoyed going there, she could cook like a demon, so I was quite relaxed about the situation. ANYHOW, she phones one day to tell me the computer is going on by itself. i am not touching anything and it is just "running". on site I ask her to show what is happening. Mrs K. duly goes thru the scenario showing how she starts the machine loads the program and inserts the paper. When she inserts the paper her rather large bust area, RESTS on the keyboard, starting all types of prorams etc. You explain to a good yiddisher mama, her boobs are resting on the keybaord. I tried, diplomatically, to no avail, suddenly it dawned on her, and so i was told "Oh my tits are on the keyboard, why didnt you say so". She was a good person, and brilliant mother she shoudnt have operated anyhting outside of her kosher kithen. I liked her.

Next time any of you feel the urge to ridicule an end user, think that most of the people who operate machines these days, did not ask to be there, did not ask for the technology, but took on a job to survive.

i like my operators they are my eyes and ears, and i always lok after them.

john

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Mistaken Identity

by Constantdrone In reply to My eyes and ears

I'm with you on this topic. Most users and clients are embarassed by their lack of tech savy, and I try not to use my powers for evil.
Having said that I do have one client, who I'll call Bill, that takes the cake in the tech challanged category.
Bill is a wiz at sales and has contacts that the company brought on board for. His only problem is getting around to follow ups and organizing data etc...
I was asked to go over to his office and check out his system and make some reccomandations for smoothing out his office world.
His desk was the was holding up paper and his workspace was a small pedestel table with keyboard balancing on it. He would place a mouse pad on his lap and run his mouse in this fashion.
Anyways, several organizer trays later we get Bill back to his desk and I had a few wireless mice in the back of my tickle trunk, so I decide to give Bill a thrill and hook him up. That same day he has a new cell phone delivered to replace the one he had lost months ago.
I signed for the phone and placed it on his desk with a note explaining the changes I had made for him.
Next morning Bill is on phone to me, calling to let me know that the this wireless mouse is hooped, and he needs me there asap.
I think most people can see where this is going, and needless to say Bill is there at his desk, racing his cell phone around on his mouse pad, and cursing my mother's exsistance.

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Mouse

by nabess In reply to Mistaken Identity

First of all, galbrait, you must be Canadian. Only we know a tickle trunk... LOL.

I once had an aquaintance call me because he coulnd't get in touch with the guy that set up his computer. He said "my mouse doesn't work". I said I would follow him back to his office and watched as he picked up the wireless mouse receiver and moved it back and forth on the table. "See? It doesn't work."(The mouse had been knocked off the desk.)

I had another user, the sweetest lady, who was not very computer literate. After she got her new computer, she said "Where are my programs?". I told her that I had made shortcuts on her desktop to the programs she used. She said "When I click on the icon, that's not the right program." When I asked her which program she was referring to, she said "The third icon down." I asked her which program that was. "Oh, I don't know the name of it. I just know on my old computer, it was the third icon down program." This one took a while.

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I got ripped off

by sharkbot In reply to Mistaken Identity

Customer calls up and says that he was sold a pc and he paid for Office 2003 Standard to be installed on his computer, but that it wasn't and he had been ripped off by the sales associate that sold it to him. I got his receipt number and looked up that sale, sure enough he had bought Office, and paid for the install. Since I was the install tech, I looked up his service invoice, sure enough I had installed it and signed off on it, so I was sure that it had been installed...
Me: Sir, I personally installed that software on your machine, you're sure you don't have it now?
Caller: Yes, it's not there
Me: Sir, have you tried to open the application?
Caller: I don't know how to do that.
Me: Okay, it's easy, just click on the Start button, then Microsoft, then Office.
Caller: I don't have a start button
Me: You don't have a green button in the lower left corner of your monitor that says start?
Caller: No, I can't see anything on my monitor.
Me: Why not? Is it turned on?
Caller: Of course it's NOT turned on, it's still in the box!
Me: Sir, you're going to have to take the computer out of the box and set it up before you can us Microsoft Office.

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Coffee cup holder.

by rjarnold In reply to dumb users.....

User: I need to have my coffee cup holder replaced.
Tech: Coffee cup holder? Sir, we do not support that.
User: But it is attached to the box that you set up for me.
Tech: Okay??? I will have to come to your office and take a look.
[Tech arrives at users office]
User: See...it is broken, I can no longer hold my coffee cup in it.
Tech: Um...sir, that is not a coffee cup holder -- that is what we call a CDROM drive.

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Coffee cup holder! I can believe it!!!

by fakecharles In reply to Coffee cup holder.

That's hilarious about the cupholder/CD Rom Drive!!!!

Last week I told a user to hit any key to reboot. Fifteen minutes later, he was still looking for something labeled "ANY KEY!!!!!!!!"

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try hitting this...

by anykey??? In reply to Coffee cup holder! I can ...

anykey, and the user will definately get a reboot

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Any Key Deluxe

by stevej In reply to Coffee cup holder! I can ...

Several years ago I work at a job where the
manager was extremely un-tech savy. The was
however another guy who was vey sharp. He got
ahold of the boss' PC and wrote a small program
that gave a bogus error message on bootup. the
message said to press any key, after the next
keystroke the PC played a .wav file that shouted
from the speaker "not that one you idiot!"

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LMAO

by Tink! In reply to Any Key Deluxe

That's a good one! (course u gotta make sure the boss has a sense humor b4 u do stuff like that)

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I pulled a joke on the Owners email setup.

by jaytm401 In reply to LMAO

I worked for a mom and pop company and the owner was a very nice lady who also like to joke around. Well, her computer was the best in the company of course and had the nice speakers and sub woofers for the best sound. I went into her office while she was out for lunch and added my own little wave file to her incoming messages. She returned to her office with a client and then had called me to her office. Just as arrived at the office her email sounded off with the sound file I had added to outlook. The wave file sounded off with, "YOU'VE GOT JUNK MAIL? and I nearly Busted out laughing on the floor with this very guilty look on my face. The next day I came into the office she had changed all my sound bites to play, ?Don?t torment yourself, that?s my job.? Good thing for fun people that have a sense of humor.

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