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Friday Yuk

By Shellbot ·
Tags: Off Topic
Ok people..its Friday..for those of us in Eire..its a long weekend..you UK folks the same??
Have a great one everyone..think of me while doing so..Dr has ordered me to do nothing, eat nothing nice or drink nothing nice..so i'm sh@gged..well..not....ah never mind
<br><br>
<b>Jamaican Baby</b><br>
A Jamaican man bought a round of drinks for everyone in the bar,
announcing that his wife had just given birth to "a typical
Jamaican baby boy weighing 20 pounds." <br>

Congratulations showered him from all around, and many
exclamations of "Wow!" were heard. A woman fainted due to sympathy
pains.

Two weeks later, he returned to the bar. The bartender said, "Say,
you're the father of the Jamaican baby who weighed 20 pounds at
birth. How much does he weigh now?"

The proud father answered, "Fifteen pounds."

The bartender was puzzled. "Why? What happened? He weighed 20
pounds at birth?"

The Jamaican father took a slow sip from his Red Stripe beer,
wiped his lips on his shirtsleeve, leaned into the bartender and
said, "Had him circumcised.

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Not funny not funny , you say,

by rob mekel In reply to Not really a yuk..but fun ...

and who of these zombies might be your SiL, hahahaha


Goodluck Mae have a good interview and stick to one thing ... they need you ... :)


Rob

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The big goony one

by maecuff In reply to Not funny not funny , you ...

With the ketchup bottle raised over his head.

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Mae for luck cross your

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Not really a yuk..but fun ...

Ice Pick & Shovel.

Col ]:)

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I thought that was to keep away vampires (NT)

by midniteone In reply to Mae for luck cross your

(!)

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Good luck Mae

by OnTheRopes In reply to Not really a yuk..but fun ...

I hope you get the job that you want. I have over 90 resumes and applications out and have had exactly one nibble and one interview and I didn't get the job. You're already doing better than I am. THAT should make you feel good. <br><br><img src="http://i201.photobucket.com/albums/aa12/sharewhat2/Emoticons/shrk.gif" border="0" </a><br><br>
I should possibly take "Master of my Domain" off of my resume but I like it on there.

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Good luck!

by Locrian_Lyric In reply to Not really a yuk..but fun ...

and if you need anyone to 'convince' the hiring manager, I knows a few guyz with middle names of "the" who are very persuasive.

IF you know what I mean...

fughetaboudit!

(and to the humor impaired, yes that was a joke)

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Three days

by Locrian_Lyric In reply to Friday Yuk

A man, tired of his wife's nagging told her that if she continued, that she would not see him for three days.

She continued and he warned her again, "If you don't stop nagging me, you won't see me for three days".

She still continued and he told her. "For the last time, if you continue your nagging, you will not see me for three days."

Sure enough....

One day passes and she does not see him.
The second day passes, and she does not see him.

However, by the end of the third day, the swelling began to go down and she could open up her eyes enough to see him.

****************************

What's the first thing a woman does when she get's out of a battered wife's shelter?

The dishes if she's smart.

***********************************

A mailman, ready to retire, is making his last day's rounds when he finds a beutiful woman wearing a neglige waiting for him at one of his stops.

she pulls him inside, gives him the best sex he's ever had, then gets dressed and makes him a fine breakfast.

As he finishes the breakfast, she walks over and puts a dollar in his shirt-pocket.

Bewildered, he asks her what's going on.

She explains to him that when she asked her husband what she should do for him for his retirement, her husband said "SCREW HIM, give him a dollar!" then "The breakfast was my idea"

A woman was widowed seven times,
Her first six husbands died from eating poison mushrooms, the seventh from a **** to the head (he wouldn't eat the mushrooms)

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Personally I find the first two offensive

by JamesRL In reply to Three days

About as funny as cancer or a heart attack. Which is to say not very.

Telling these kids of jokes may make some stupid men think that assaulting your spouse isn't very serious.

From personal experience, I can tell you, it isn't funny and is serious. My wife had a friend who was beaten - black eye as a matter of fact, and we let her stay at our place with her baby in tow for a couple of weeks.

James

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That is the key to humor

by jdclyde In reply to Personally I find the fir ...

if it is hurtful or hateful (or both) it isn't humor.

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You've just eliminated all political humor.

by Locrian_Lyric In reply to That is the key to humor

Let me tell you something else about humor.

Maccabe humor tends to originate from people who've gone through tragic events.

Humor itself is often a coping mechanism for anger, loss or tragedy.

Show me someone who does not laugh at much and I'll show you someone who hasn't cried at much.

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