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are you in the same circle?

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by jaqui

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Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis

You approach Satan's wretched city where you behold a wide plain surrounded by iron walls. Before you are fields full of distress and torment terrible. Burning tombs are littered about the landscape. Inside these flaming sepulchers suffer the heretics, failing to believe in God and the afterlife, who make themselves audible by doleful sighs. You will join the wicked that lie here, and will be offered no respite. The three infernal Furies stained with blood, with limbs of women and hair of serpents, dwell in this circle of Hell.

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv

edit, layout and typos

60 replies

by bizzo

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!

Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Level | Score
Purgatory | Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo | Very Low
Level 2 | Very High
Level 3 | Very High
Level 4 | High
Level 5 | Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis | Very High
Level 7 | Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge | Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus | Moderate

Level descriptions: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-information.html
Take the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv

by charliespencer

If I don't believe in an after life, I can't expect to wind up in the circle for heretics, now can I?

"I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints;
The sinners are much more fun."

Billy Joel; "Only the Good Die Young"

by jaqui

that's why off topic is where it's posted.
it's a silly, water-cooler type thing.

by jdclyde

[b]Second Level of Hell [/b]

You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.

Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
(Click on a level for more info)
Level Who are sent there? Score
Purgatory Repenting Believers High
Level 1 - Limbo Virtuous Non-Believers Very Low
Level 2 Lustful Very High
Level 3 Gluttonous Moderate
Level 4 Prodigal and Avaricious Low
Level 5 Wrathful and Gloomy Low
Level 6 Heretics Very Low
Level 7 Violent Low
Level 8 Fraudulent, Malicious Moderate
Level 9 Treacherous High

[b]Lustful? ME? Not TO Much... ;\

by jaqui

to fix that display. :D

though, you really have to do something about only getting level 2

them show tunes gotta go.

by jdclyde

Why would they give you html code that doesn't friggen work? What level does that place THEM at? :D

Gee, haven't seen this test in a while....

by jdclyde

you are what you eat......

[i]what did you expect, I'm going to lvl2 because of LUST, after all..... :p

by jaqui

and added to my reply even.

That's why I figured it could be pulled out again.
it's been at least a year and not everyone will catch Mae and I's references to lawn furniture etc. :D

by dadspad

Second Level of Hell

You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.

At least I have female company! :D

by jaqui

I have Mae for company.
AND we already have plans to have lots of fun together. ]:)

you only have that show tunes loving jdclyde for company. ]:)

by jdclyde

Sit around and get smacked with a shovel by Mae or sit around lustfully singing showtunes?

Is that really such a hard choice? :0 :D

by dadspad

The most part for sex (that doesn't work anymore)

[of course, the old Road Pictures do not count in the show tunes category.]

by jamesrl

Of which, the Golden Compass just came out as a film.

The book's concept of hell (which isn't in the movie, its in the third book), is that you leave your body behind, you leave part of your "spirit" behind. Harpies chose to torture you by repeating to you the worst thing you did in your life. There is no change, no hope of change. And by the way, there is no heaven.

I've seen a movie which said just about the same thing, but I think it was a comedy.

James

by jdclyde

It was called my wedding videos.... :D

There was this Harpy that would NEVER let me forget anything I did wrong.... ever.....

;\

by maecuff

I'm already in hell and I am my own harpy. I already torture myself with the things I've done wrong.

Maybe I could get a job as a full time harpy for someone else? I'd be good at it. Loads of experience.

by robo_dev

But they made him clean up the 'hair of serpents' outside his office...some sort of health and safety rule about that.

by dmambo

My life of purity, and a careful reading of the questions in an effort to fool the test, has me in:

Purgatory -
You have escaped damnation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven.

I'll put in a good word for SOME of you.

by jdclyde

Got a "high" rating.

I think it was giving 50% of my income to strippers instead of the homeless that pushed me over the edge? ;\ I figured I was helping! After all, the poor girl couldn't even afford some cloths so how could I not? :0

]:)

by dmambo

This portion of the thread is only for the Pure.

One thing that sucks is that all this damn Purity only gets me to Purgatory. I figured that I'd be straight trippin' to Heaven. The red tape in this joint is ridiculous with all that %$#king "dew of repentance" crap.

by tig2

You have company.

I can't even get sin right!

Purgatory

You have escaped damnation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven.

by Member 25348569

give us an occasional wave as you go? Assuming, that is, that I'm allowed time off for having the best "doleful sighs" in the Sixth Circle.

Thinking about it, though, I reckon you'd hear a teeny bit more than the odd "doleful sigh" if I were being burned inside a flaming sepulchre! You'll be able to hear me from halfway up the mountain!

Neil ?:|

by dmambo

You just can't have it both ways.

OTOH, you probably DO have it both ways. :^0

by dmambo

"So what's wrong with Blow Jobs or Masturbation ????"

You don't usually see a sentence like that more than once a week. :D

by dadspad

that is just part of being married (at least long enough for the honeymoon effect to end) :D

I don't know about Mae, maybe she is just practicing for future use. After all, she said she was perfect. A fact I will not argue. :)

by gadgetgirl

Welcome to the Impure Brigade, Dad - we all knew you'd get here sooner or later ....

(NYAHAHA! :p )

GG
]:)

by dadspad

I have been out of practice. ]:)

I must practice more, I must practice more!!

:D

by maecuff

Where did I say I was perfect? I am far from perfect..not even CLOSE to perfect.

by Member 25348569

Not without an argument, though! How can you be a heretic if you don't believe in any of this? Heretics are people with [b]different[/b] beliefs and I just don't have any.

I think we've had this link a year or so ago and it doesn't seem that my prospects have got any less bleak in that time so I thought I'd lie - just in case God isn't concentrating properly and I can slide in if (pretty damn unlikely) I happen to be wrong.

If I get to choose, I'm going to Valhalla!

Neil :)

by shellbot

Fifth Level of Hell

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The river Styx runs through this level of Hell, and in it are punished the wrathful and the gloomy. The former are forever lashing out at each other in anger, furious and naked, tearing each other piecemeal with their teeth. The latter are gurgling in the black mud, slothful and sullen, withdrawn from the world. Their lamentations bubble to the surface as they try to repeat a doleful hymn, though with unbroken words they cannot say it. Because you lived a cruel, vindictive and hateful life, you meet your fate in the Styx.

by jaqui

you can make it. then you get to be with Mae and I. ]:)
an eternity of having fun tormenting everyone around.

by maecuff

The doleful sighs are going to get annoying after a few hundred years. We'll have to make sure we get a good sound system to go along with the lawn furniture.

I like abrasive music, so that should go a long way toward tormenting others.

by dmambo

"gurgling in the black mud, slothful and sullen, withdrawn from the world. Their lamentations bubble to the surface"

Oh, man. Sounds like somebody farting in the bathtub.

by jdclyde

There is a video out there that I will not link to, nor do I recommend looking it up, titled "Don't Fart in a Hottub".

Some people are sitting in the hot tub getting interviewed. A hot babe goes to fart and gets more than she bargained for. Everyone else DOVE to get out of the tub....

I laughed
I cried
I went and took a shower.....

by dmambo

It seems to me that it's a good thing that jaqui is going to some deep level of Hell. Virgins in Paradise would probably be only a temporary condition if he ever got there!

by jdclyde

imagine him in all the white and light! :0

Poor little night dweller would be in hell if he were in heaven? :D

by Member 25348569

There I am, minding my own business and not hurting anyone with my lack of belief and then I die and the next thing that I know is that I'm burning for eternity and uttering "doleful sighs".

According to Dante, the followers of the Greek philosopher Epicurus are in the next sepulchre to me. They, it would seem, are guilty of attempting to "attain the happy, tranquil life, characterized by the absence of pain and fear, living a self-sufficient life surrounded by friends."

Epicure taught that pleasure and pain are the measures of what is good and bad, that death is the end of the body and the soul and should therefore not be feared, that the gods do not reward or punish humans, that the universe is infinite and eternal, and that events in the world are ultimately based on the motions and interactions of atoms moving in empty space. Sounds like a nice bloke to me.

Boy! Did the Christians have a surprise for HIM! Burn you mother!!

Neil :)

by jaqui

with a rusty sword. ]:)
poking them with that would elicit some screams along with those sighs. :)

and a lead pipe to beat them with for the long term whimpering of having broken bones.

and we can slow roast some over a bbq pit. ]:)
that ought to be good for some noise besides doleful sighs.

by maecuff

I just don't want to listen to a bunch of sighing. If I wanted that, I'd visit my mother on whatever level of hell she ends up in. Or not. She very well may end up in heaven.

And I don't want to hear whining, either. The lead pipe will have to come out for whiners.

by jaqui

is that the actual level scores I got are so different from what everyone else has posted..
Level 1 Very Low
Level 2 High
Level 3 Moderate
Level 4 High
Level 5 Very High
Level 6 Very High
Level 7 Very High
Level 8 Very High
Level 9 High

by tig2

Unless I decide to pray you to heaven and give you an eternity to sigh dolefully in a bit more comfort.

I'll bet I could, you know. I can be pretty determined when I want to be.

by tig2

And the old Road Pictures are almost a religion themselves.

We're off on the road to Morocco
This camel is tough on the spine (hit me with a band-aid, Dad)
Where they're goin', why we're goin', how can we be sure
I'll lay you eight to five that we'll meet Dorothy Lamour (yeah, get in line)

Off on the road to Morocco
Hang on till the end of the line (I like your jockey. Quiet)
I hear this country's where they do the dance of the seven veils
We'd tell you more (uh-ah) but we would have the censor on our tails (good boy)

We certainly do get around
Like Webster's Dictionary we're Morocco bound

We're off on the road to Morocco
Well look out, well clear the way, 'cause here we come
Stand by for a concussion
The men eat fire, sleep on nails and saw their wives in half
It seems to me there should be easier ways to get a laugh
(shall I slip on my big shoes?)

Off on the road to Morocco
Hooray! Well blow a horn, everybody duck
Yeah. it's a green light, come on boys

We may run into villains but we're not afraid to roam
Because we read the story and we end up safe at home (yeah)
Certainly do get around
Like Webster's Dictionary we're Morocco bound

We certainly do get around
Like a complete set of Shakespeare that you get in the corner drugstore for a dollar ninety-eight
We're Morocco bound

Or, like a volume of Omar Khayyam that you buy in the
department store at Christmas time for your cousin Julia
We're Morocco bound
(we could be arrested)

For those that needed the nostalgia break!

by rknrlkid

"You have escaped damnation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven."

Works for me, even though I don't believe in purgatory! It is interesting to note though that this survey does NOT give any chance of paradise!

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