Friday Yuk

don't want to give MARK any ideas! :O

by hal 9000 Feb 10, 2006

When I post a Friday Yuk I constantly get into trouble because it's way too early. Being +10 hours on GMT sort of gives me a head start on the rest of you lot and you all complain so I've stopped starting off Friday yuks. :p

Also if this was under the Miscellaneous it most likely would have got more hits as no one looks under Network Admin for the Friday Yuk I only got to see it because it was listed in the [b]New Discussions[/b] on the right hand side of the Discussion Page. :)

Or have I messed up again and posted something a day early? :D

I know that this box is insisting that it's 11.22 PM Friday 10 February 2006 but it's a XP box and you can never trust any Windows Computer to tell you the truth, I'll have to have a look on my Debian NB just to make sure that I'm not a day ahead of myself again. :O

Col ]:)

this yuk, only the first post was here, and it was still thursday. 23:35 hours

since my local time is server time as well, this should have been called the THURSDAY yuk. ;)

I temporarily forgot how to spell fowl (as in a bird)
https://www.techrepublic.com.com/5208-6230-0.html?forumID=8&threadID=189529&messageID=1947913

You insensitive b*stard. That isn't funny. She's dead.

Damn Cat:

A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening.

They turned on a night light, turned on the phone answering machine, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into the house. They don't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.

The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty for the night. She explains to the driver th at her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab."Sorry I took so long", he says as they drive away. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

The cab driver hit a parked car...

WOMEN'S ASS SIZE STUDY:

There is a new study out about women and how they feel about their asses! I thought the results were pretty interesting:

85% of women think their a$$ is too fat.

10% of women think their a$$ is too skinny.

The other 5% say that they don't care, they love him anyway.

I'm ready for the weekend!

A six year old boy tells his four year old brother, "We're old enough now, I think it's time we started swearing. When we go downstairs, you use the the word a$$ and I'll use the word hell".

They go downstairs and their mother asks them what they want for breakfast. The six year old says, "I'll tell you what the hell I want, I want some Cheerios." The mother proceeds to spank him and sends him back upstairs crying. She asks the four year old, "Now, what do YOU want for breakfast." The four year old says, "I don't know, but you can bet your fat a$$ it won't be Cheerios."

18 month old little girl walking from living room into the kitchen runs into one of her uncles in the hallway. She looks up at the 6'2" uncle and says " Uncle Alan, you're a dic|

http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html

And it's impossible not to laugh when they say those things. My son fixated on the word a$$shole one night around Christmas. My mother was visiting at the time. He was not quite 3 at the time and he just wouldn't stop saying a$$hole one evening. He told me, "I'm going to go call my brother a$$hole." I told him that he was NOT calling his brother an a$$hole. So, he says, "Can I tell him I love him?" I told him yes, and he looks at his brother and says "I love you, a$$hole." After fighting the urge to NOT laugh, my husband tells him "That's enough, it's time for bed. Tell your Grandma goodnight". So, he looks at my mother and says "Goodnight, a$$hole."

My husband put him in bed and from the time he laid down until he fell asleep, he sang an a$$hole song that he had just made up.

That was it, the only night I heard him do anything like that.

NOW, he'll hear a word and not understand it's not acceptable and then milk it. Example conversation:

Joey: He's a c*ck.
Me: Don't say c*ck, it's not nice.
Joey: C*ck? Why isn't c*ck nice? You can say c*ck roach, right?
Me: yes, you can. But the way you used it isn't nice.
Joey: Why, what does c*ck mean?
Me: It's a slang term for penis.
Joey: C*ck is a slang term for penis?
Me: Yes. Now stop saying it.
Joey: Stop saying what? C*ck?

by stargazerr Feb 10, 2006

But here goes

Enjoy :D

]:)

by mikemajor3 Feb 11, 2006

never thought about all those super-powered sperm whizzing around... sheesh... or sheath (ow)

do say the darndest things.

and it's hard not to laugh even when laughing is the worst thing you could do. [ it reinforces the words when you laugh ]

but you can't even say to my neice that she shouldn't say it scares the hell out of me, the usage is correct, just not what you would expect at that age.
[ btw, this neice is now in her 20s, you bet I tease her about it. ]:)

I know all too well how hard it is to keep that straight face that you HAVE to, as a part of being a responsible parent.

Thing Two was complaining about Thing One picking on him, (I think they were three).

"I pushed me, and he took my toy, and he whipped my a$$, and he...."

Oh my GOD! He had even used it correctly! We just let it slide (like you did) and it never became an issue.

Real hard to not laugh, especially because he has his little feelings hurt and I didn't want him thinking I was laughing at his feelings being hurt.

B*stard? Huh? Hell I didn't know dear ol' Aunt Hen died. You conveniently forgot to tell us that. That's like giving someone a speeding ticket the day after the speed limit is chopped in half. Sheesh! :_|

I was just trying to get you to apologize..

Even though I know how much you love apologies. ;)

You're no fun anymore..

because you don't want to mud wrestle ;)

(Now I've pulled in three other threads. I wonder how many I could pull in if I really tried.)

by jzsdii Feb 10, 2006

I thought I had clicked miscellaneous, but apparently not - my carelessness. However, it was after midnight when i posted. Does that mean it wound up on a server in a different time zone?

is in the Pacific time zone.

by jzsdii Feb 10, 2006

I'll have to remember that.

I say "you're no fun" then you have to say "I'm no fun." Can't you be a little more original?

he TRIED with me..... :D

weak!

Really, you could do better in the boyfriend department.