Okay, okay I have stayed away from this topic for too long and if I wait any longer it will not be relevant any longer. As we all know the world is waiting with baited breath to see who the next US President is going to be. Most of you just to make fun of us, but that is to be expected as look who we are dealing with this time. We are in sad shape here folks, and it is time to add a little levity to the situation. I for one could use it after finding out my property taxes are going up while my home value is plummeting. I just scanned the Timmy (obscure fairly oddparents reference) to see if I could purchase a flux capacitor for my car. Turns out they only make them for Delorans after all, good luck finding one of those, seems they are all in 1955 for some reason. It is looking pretty grim in the ‘ole USofA right now and I am not sure when it is going to end. So here is my take on the current election and what it is going to produce for not only us but those of you out there in the rest of the world.
If our protector and watchdog Hillary Clinton, I refuse to hyphenate her name, wiggles her way into office the following statement would most assuredly be read:
“Dear subjects, I have decided to cut out the middle man and just proclaim the Clinton line as the first line of succession in the empire of the Americas. I know the Bush line has had a go at it as well as a couple of other families in the past. Well they did not deserve it, I however being ready on day one do, and am taking control as such. Make sure to send your children to the village so we can raise them right and in a few years you will be able to see the doctor about that broken leg, persistent cough, cancer, etc.”
Just imagine it folks, we could be silly enough to elect…wait this just in, Max is right, Ms. Clinton just bought Florida and Michigan!!! Sorry Mr. Obama, Oprah was too busy with her school projects, something about giving education to children who deserve it, (her own words!) to wire that money into your account. Check with Mr. Buffett, he may send you a couple of Billion, maybe you can buy Indiana, I hear they are looking to sell.
Then you have John my face is gonna fall off I swear McCain. The man is as animate as Bob Dole’s left arm. True he is a Veteran and I respect that highly, yes I think he is honest and forthwith sort of, but good land let?s face it, the man is just not Leader of the Free world material.
We are entering what the 3rd year of campaigning here; yes I really do mean that. Remember when you had an election looming and like 7 months before they started talking about it? Heck my kids sometimes forget who is president because all they see is the people trying to get elected. I think it is time for us all to go the way of Richard Pryor and vote for no one. We are all told our vote counts, as long as you are a member of the Electoral College it does anyway. WTF would happen if everyone just said, nope I don’t want any of these guys? Please people don’t vote Nader, can you say unsafe at any age? I guess what I am saying is this; we need to get this country back from the people who stole it from us. We don’t need Career Politicians; we need the common man in charge, like the founding fathers. Do you think any of them were in it for the cushy job and the benefits? Heck poor George Washington had to have wooden teeth for crying out loud. Imagine Teddy Kennedy having to live with that? Let a Dentist, a Doctor, a School teacher, a Line worker, hell even a lawyer, run the country. Go to your local government and run for city council, mayor, Governor. You can, the Constitution says so, if we truly are to be a government of, by and for the people then the people need to be in it. I for one am considering a run for mayor in my home town, yeah I know it would be scary, but I cannot sit here and rant if I do not practice what I preach right. I want you all to think about this, if we are truly sick of the way the world is how do we change it? Do you think it works to allow these people to continue down the path they themselves set? Or should we as a people stand up and declare enough to be enough? I for one am starting to practice the Flute so I look good in the next Revolutionary War YouTube clip. I am starting to smell the stench of Governmental decay. Common Sense! It worked then and it will work now. Huzzah!!!
-duck