Is there a simple IP address program?

I am looking for a program that the most non computer person can work. Here is what I need.

1) small program size
2) easy install with NO input
3) creates desktop icon
4) Just hit icon and program spits out the computer IP address and or the internet address.
5) will not compramise security when not being used
6) does not load at startup once installed
7) does not need to be registered, since I will have the registered admin package.

I think I will be doing a lot of over the net computer work. I need something simple to get me on a customers screen without ever hearing “I dont understand how to do this”. I reiterate, this has to be so simple that a blind man with no hearing who just lost his hands could use.

Thanks all.