First if I could ask is your SBS 4.5 a pop3 client or an SMTP client? Exchange version for SBS has the ability to act as a pop3 client but this is not possible for a full version of Exchange 5.5. I hope your ISP provider has support for SMTP and youare configuring your SBS as an SMTP client.
To receive emails your ISP provider should provide you with:
1. an Static IP address for the Dialup account
2. Do their SMTP servers support ESMTP and ETRN or TURN?
3. IP address of their DNS Server.
4. IP address or host name of their SMTP server.
5. What form of authentication or encryption (if any) do they support on their SMTP host.
6. The last and the most important one is the DNS record for the domain as this is most of the time is thereason for sending but not receiving emails. A Mail Exchanger (MX) record and an Address (A) record for YOURDOMAIN need to be added to their DNS server. Am saying their DNS server because you are using an SBS server and I don't expect you to have a DNS server of your own but if you do you can add these records to your DNS server.
Then you need to install the Internet Mail Connector and configure it. To configure it follow the procedure in this TechNet page:
http://www.microsoft.com/TechNet/exchange/technote/dialup.asp
It is about Dial-up Internet Mail Service Host Configuration. It is easy and straight forward. If the configuration is correct it the problem is definitly from your ISP although you said it is not.
Good luck.
Ghalib.