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Should Windows have

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33 replies

by the scummy one 1 view

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a desktop icon called "I Am Too Stupid to Understand This!"

I swear, some of the questions here AND some of the trouble calls I get AND some of the off-work calls that I get make me think YES.

MS programmers need to add the all encompassing "I am too stupid" icon on the desktop, that can bring up the help files and make recommendations about objects clicked on.
Like, for example, Click the too stupid icon and then click on "My Documents, and it tells what the my documents does, and how to use it step by step.
Or
click on too stupid icon and then click on the HELP button in an MS app and it explains What the HELP means and how to use it
OR
click the too stupid icon when installing something and it asks a question (like click OK or CANCEL), and it will say something like If you want to install it, choose OK, if not choose CANCEL you friggin IDIOT!
Or -- ok, I'll just leave it at those for now. All three were good examples

33 replies

by boxfiddler

[i]click on too stupid icon and then click on the HELP button in an MS app and it explains What the HELP means and how to use it[/i]

That would be my pick.

by hal 9000

But of course the Help Desk or the Scummy One would still get calls asking how to turn it on to get to the [b]I'm too stupid button.[/b] :p

It needs a lot more that what was listed here as they don't go anywhere near far enough. I would suggest a I'm Too Stupid Hand held device explaining how to plug in turn on and get to the I'm Too Stupid Icon. Those could also cover power outages or unplugged systems. You know very complex things like Plug it in and turn on the switch and when the lights don't work and no other electrical device works the computer is very unlikely to either type directions.

Or the really important ones NB Batteries go flat when you don't plug in the Mains Adapter and then the NB Stops working.

But no matter how simple you make things the End User will still find ways to muck up the system or just fail to understand how it works. :_|

I had one person who scanned in Medical Reports for a Doctor and after 5 years she suddenly decided that the unit was no longer working because after scanning in the reports they didn't appear in the Patient Records. Apparently she failed to understand that the Quack had to read the reports and forward them onto the revel ant Persons Records for some reason unknown to anyone but her she thought that once she scanned them in they just magically went straight to the Patient Records without any other intervention. :(

Col

by jaqui

and click the icon then the start menu and it goes and installs ubuntu, the distro that crashes at 1400 fonts. :D

by boxfiddler

'buntu crashes at 1400 fonts? Just having 1400 installed, or trying to use all 1400 at the same time?

Please detail your testing! :D

I have PowerPoint students who muck up their Final Presentation something fierce by using way too many different fonts in a presentation. You tickled my funny bone. Thanks.

by charliespencer

absolute PowerPoint corrupts absolutely.

The most dangerous thing in the Army is a 2nd Lieutenant with a map and a compass. The second most dangerous thing is a staff officer with PowerPoint and a projector.

PowerPoint is the most misused application in the history of desktop computing.

by jaqui

my neighbor installed 1400 fonts and had to reboot, and that stpped him from being able to login.. to many ofnts. had to uninstall them to be able to get back up and running.

14633 fonts available to him, and Ubuntu won't let him install them. ]:)
Mandriva will let me install them all. ]:)
[ yes, he only installed 10% and crashed ubuntu ]

by hal 9000

Isn't there so I should be able to install them all so I can find the one that I want. :D

Of course if it shut down the computer and powered off whenever there was any form of flowing substance around the computer it would be even better. :^0

Col ]:)

by charliespencer

You only need it on the HR manager and / or the Training manager's computers. That's the "I'm too stupid to hire trained people / train the people I've hired." button.

by ontheropes

I'm fixing two computers for a friend of mine - for the third time - and they'll be just fine until his teenage daughters get on them again.

I don't really care. Not my problem. Computers are just a hobby for me.

by jaqui

I have a folder on one of my systems with 14633 fonts in it.

on that same computer I have 16,187 fonts installed. :D

by rob miners

I just spent 10 minutes clicking on your button and it wont work. What do I need to do to get it to work because I need help real bad. :p

by nicknielsen

Yep, that's exactly what it is! :D

Dang down-under cultural references...why can't they be Americanisms like the rest of the world uses? :p

by ceespace

you click on the I'm too stupid icon and then click on it again?

(must be off my computer wants to restart)

by w2ktechman

at first thought I would say

PC Error

Or maybe it should ask "Are you really that Stupid. If you click YES, you will be removed from the computer.

If they continue from yes, the computer should blow up with enough force to take them out!

by hal 9000

Yes that right Keep It Simple Stupid when they click on Yes they are prompted to Insert one of those Special Blank CD's and ten the computer burns it for them. You know one of those batch that uploaded while burning that where around many years ago when the high speed burners first came out. :D

I've seen one go off in a brand new computer and they never did dig the bits of plastic out of the wall. :p

That way when you replace the CD Burner it's ready to take out the next one who sits in that chair. Cheap and so easy. ;)

Col

by hal 9000

While I've never bothered to install any more than the Default ones that come with Corel Draw I did have one customer who wanted to install them all well all of the ones available with Corel Draw 12 I think. When the Windows Installer refused to allow her to install them all she set about installing the remaining several classes individually. Wasn't long before the system hung.

Apparently she thought that as she had paid for these fonts with the purchase of Draw she had to install them to get her money's worth. :D

She complained bitterly that she had wasted money and asked why I had supplied Draw to them & I could only say that it's what you told me you need to use and no matter how much I tried to talk you out of it you insisted that you had to have it. Well apparently they did need it but she didn't need it installed on her machine one of the office staff used it so she had to have a copy installed. Funny thing is that about 6 months latter I had to remove most of the Default Corel Fonts because she was complaining that there where too many type faces to chose from and she was unable to get any letters written. The rest of the time that she was there she used 2 Fonts and never opened Draw. :^0

Col

by hal 9000

Works every time. :0

Of course the Victim wanted the Case there so it was easy to put the Blank Disc into the machine. ;)

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