Friday Yuk

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when
she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip
was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she
would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the
Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything
she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat
next to Sally.

"What in bag?" asked the old woman. Sally looked down at the brown bag and
said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband." The Navajo woman was
silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an
elder, she said: "Good trade..."

Number 10 is all wrong it should read

[b]Life is a Sexually Transmitted Disease with an extremely Bad Prognosis.[/b]

Until you get these quotes right I'm going to have to send Mae over to your place to cut off all the toes on one foot with her new shovel. :p

Of course you are going to be in real trouble the third time that Mae visits you for you punishment aren't you? :^0

Col

well it's half past the crack of stupid here.... what better time to do some work!
Anyway, here's my first contribution for this weeks Yuk:

A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said "I
want to be a movie star." Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he
had the right credentials.

The agent asked, "What's your name?"

The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian."

The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into
Hollywood , you are going to have to change your name."

"I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old,
I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever."

The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you will NEVER
go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you
will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you."

"So be it! I guess we will not do business together" the guy said and he
left the agent's office.

FIVE YEARS LATE R..... The agent opens an envelope sent to his office.
Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The ag ent is
awe-struck, who would possibly send him $50,000? He reads the letter
enclosed...

"Dear Sir, Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an
actor in Hollywood , you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to
make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never
make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your
office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to
change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed
with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so
the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.

Thank you for your advice..

Sincerely,

Dick van Dy.ke

Now that gay marriage has become legal in the UK, Ikea has responded by exclusively releasing a new range of lesbian furniture in its British branches.

There's no screwing involved, and it's all tongue and groove.

--------------------------------------------

A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the pavement.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her...."Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag..."

"Damn!" says the little old lady....."I'd better go back and see if I can still find some. Thanks for the warning!"

"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money?" "Did you steal it?"

"Oh, no", says the little old lady. "You see, my back yard backs up to the parking lot of the football stadium.Each time there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds!"

"So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his little thingie through the bushes, I say: $20 or
off it comes!"

"Hey, not a bad idea!" laughs the cop. "OK, good luck! By the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well", says the little old lady, "not all of them pay up"....

-------------------------------------

A sixteen year old virgin girl goes to confession.

"Father, I called a man a son-of-a-bitch yesterday."

"Why did you call him a son-of-a-bitch??" the priest asked.

"Because, father, he touched me on my arm without permission"

"Do you mean like this??" He touches her arm.

"Yes father."

"That's no reason for calling him a son-of-a-bitch."

"But father he also touched my breasts."

"You mean like this??" He touches her breasts.

"Yes father."

"That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."

"But father, he took off my clothes."

"Like this??" He takes off her clothes.

"Yes father."

"That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."

"But father he then put his you-know-what in my you-know-where."

"Like this??" He put his you-know-what in her you-know-where.

"Yes father," she says sometime later.

"But that's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."

"But father, he has AIDS."

"THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!"

-------------------------------------------

Two gays are driving down the street when they see a dog on the side of the road licking his ****. "I sure wish I could do that," said the one gay. To which the other replied,

"Don't you think you ought to pet him first??"

That I may have to go out and search for something impure because I really cant stand the sight of you av!! Maybe that pic you PM'd me?? (Yes I couldnt resist and took a look while in work, luckily there was no one around)

P.S For everyone whos wondering what pic Col sent me, well lets just say it was very naughty!!

It will make her feel good about herself. :D

Better still she'll even think that she's being Impure when actually she only sharing a joke. :p

If you ask her nicely she may even post the link here thinking just how naughty she's being. :^0

Col

It's Steffi who's driven me to purity and I can not escape the consequences of her actions. :_|

Some people ever are beginning to think that I'm nice. :_|

Oh the indignity and pain & suffering caused by this wo-man [i]Pronounced Woe To This Man.[/i]. :_|

I'm only still alive because every piece of metal had been removed from my reach and I'm forced to eat with a plastic fork. I used to be so mean once and now everyone thinks that [b]I'm Nice![/b] :_|

Steffi has interfered with my TR Account so that only nice things get posted and everything else just disappears into Cyber Oblivion. It's unfair particularly when Steffi claims to be so [b]Impure[/b] and she actually the leader of the [b]Purity Brigade.[/b] :_| :_| :_| :_| :_| :_|

She even got a complete stranger to ring me today for advice on how to get his tech to setup a new network in my area and I had to answer the questions. :_| :_| :_| :_| :_|

Now I'm going to lie down and allow that IV Valium to do some good but it's hard to carry around a 44 gallon drum of the stuff. :(

Col :x

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight, the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her,
"Darling, would you give me a bl0wjob?" Horrified, she replies, "Are you crazy? My parents will see us!"
Him: "Oh, come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"
Her: "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
Him: "Oh, come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
Her: "No way. It's just too risky!"
Him (horny as hell): "Oh, please, please, I love you so much?!?"
Her: "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"
Him: "Oh, yes, you can. Please?"
Her: "No, no. I just can't."
Him: "I beg you ... "
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says:
?Dad says to go ahead and give him a bl0wjob. Otherwise I can do it. Or if need be, dad says he can come down himself and do it. But for god sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom..."

Please, please please (darn, begging to sound like a beatles song) post the link!?

So you failed badly but then again being the leader of the [b]PURITY BRIGADE[/b] what else can you expect?

Col :_| :_| :_| :_| :_|

I'm going to cry myself to sleep tonight and have a soggy pillow in the mourning I'll just claim that the Water Bed must have sprung a leak. :p

Aging Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl.

She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.

Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her doctor to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be.

"On a woman," the doctor said, "your heart would be just below your left breast."

Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.

Steffi is so much the leader of the [b]Purity Bi grade[/b] that she is using this opportunity to prevent a new Master Card Add from being shown.

I just hate it when someone sets themselves up as supposedly knowing what better for me than I do so they censor what I get to see.

But you must be a good fiend of Little Johnny so you can get your way and prevent perfectly acceptable adds being shown. :_|

Col :_| :_|

There was a little boy who lived on a farm. One morning when he got up from bed his mother told him he needed to start doing his chores around the farm.

The little boy said he would take over the chores for his dad. So he went to the barn and milked the cow when he was done he kicked the cow right in the ass. Then he went and fed the pig, when he was done he kicked the pig in the ass. Then he went to feed the chicken, when he was done he kicked the chicken in the ass.

After the chores were done the little boy went into the house and said to his mother "The chores are done I want some breakfast".
So the mom put a dry bowl of cereal down in front of the little boy, he said, "What about the milk?", and the mother replied "You can't have any milk because you kicked the cow in the ass". The little boy said, "Well how about some bacon?" the mother replied, "You can't have any bacon because you kicked the pig in the ass". The little boy said "Can I at least have an egg?" The mother replied, "No, you kicked the chicken in the ass".

In walks his father, who kicked the cat, and the little boy said to his mother "Do you want to tell him or should I?"
-----
Woo-hoo, that is some serious trouble :^0

Rob

Less of that!! I wasnt being pure I just wouldnt want people opening it in work and getting into trouble because of me

OK I'll do it but here is a disclaimer! If you open it in work and anyone sees it and something bad happens its nothing to do with me, in fact blame Col!!

http://tinyurl.com/349vn2

So there :p

Of how not to behave in the Office remember that now that you've got it!

WTH is that all about I never sent you that Picture it's totally Pure this is the one that I sent you.

http://tinyurl.com/yw8lfr

You can't get me into trouble I have a large supply of the Mourning After Pill. :p

Oh BTW do you like the different Avatar that I've placed there just for Shelly? It's called Wild Pu$$y and is a fairly accurate representation of how any Pu$$y behaves. :p

Col

Your avitar is improving Col :)
[i]come to think of it ... isn't that the same as before all the switching ?:| [/i]

Rob

the burning is much better

But who is he aiming at ?:|

Rob

But as Shelly wants to improve her image and Avatar I thought that I would try this one just for her so she has some idea of what to do.

I'll put my left eye back shortly. :p

Col

For knowing what_to or what_NOT_to do ?:|

Thought you were more in the acting stuff :0

Rob

Hillary Clinton called Bill into her office one day and said, "Bill, I have a great idea. I know how we can win back middle America and
secure my presidential victory in 2008".

Great, but how so you propose we go about that?", asked Bill.

Well", Hillary responds, "We'll go down to a local Wal-Mart,get some cheezy clothes and shoes like most middle Americans wear, and then we'll stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador. When we look the part we'll
go to a nice old country bar in middle America, and we'll show them that we really enjoy the countryside and show admiration and respect for the hard working people living there."

A few days later, all decked out and with the requisite Labrador at heel, they set off from New York in a westerly direction. Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for.

With dog in tow they walk into the bar. They step up to the bar and the bartender takes a step back and says, "Aren't you Bill and Hillary Clinton?"

Hillary answers, "Yes we are, and what a lovely town you have here. We were just passing through and Bill suggested that we stop and take in some local color."

They then order a couple of cocktails from the bartender and proceed to drink them down, all the while chatting up a storm with anyone
who would listen.

All of a sudden, the bar room door opens and a grizzled old farmer comes in. He walks up to the Labrador, lifts its tail and looks underneath, shrugs his shoulders and walks out the door. A few moments later, in came another old farmer. He walks up to the dog, lifts its tail, looks underneath, scratches his head, and then leaves the bar.

Over the course of the next hour or so, another four or five farmers came in, lifted the dog's tail, and went away looking puzzled.

Eventually Hillary and Bill could stand it no longer and called the bartender over. 'Tell me", said Hillary, "Why did all those old farmers come in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it some sort of old custom?"

"Good Lord no", said the bartender, "Its just that someone has told them that there was a Lab in here with two A-holes!"

Apprentices disappeared without any trace when they where working On Site with me.

I honestly don't know what happened to them after I shoved them in the bottom of a lift well and parked the lift as low as it would go. They had about 6 feet to move around in and they just disappeared without any trace when I went to let them out. I really don't know what happened to them. Honest! :D

Col ]:)

The name of that avitar just proves you're on the right side :D

It's what the mind is full of ... but calling it wildkat is some different story :D
It just proves you're very impure
... so ...
Welcome Back Col to the black side of the pool

Rob

Last winter JD met a woman while on vacation in the Keys and fell madly in love with her. On the last night of his vacation, the two of them went to dinner at the Ocean View and had a serious talk about how they would continue the relationship.

"It's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut," JD said to his lady friend. "I eat, sleep and breathe golf, so if that's a problem, you'd better say so now."

"Well, if we're being honest with each other, here goes," she replied. "I'm a hooker."

"I see," JD replied, and was quiet for a moment. Then he said, "You know, it's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you tee off."

Knickers, Fish Paste, Darn, Heckfire...

Sorry. I just had to get that out of my system.

So, what is this about a picture?

Dave I love you, only someone who uses them words knows where they come from :) and that means that I now think your fantastically great :D

Edited because I've just realised you used sassafrassen, and maybe you didnt get it from the same source as Sassafrass, so maybe I dont love you anymore

mind your knees.

You're crawling waaaay too much.

(Why? Wots he got that I don't know about?)

:D

GG

So you should be as safe as Houses. :D

Col

Hal said:
[i]Steffi is so much the leader of the [b]Purity Bi grade[/b] that she is using this opportunity to prevent a new Master Card Add from being shown.[/i]

I am unfamiliar with this [b]Bi grade[/b] classification. Care to enlighten us?

Edited to fix emphasis. We can't have emphasis in the wrong place, can we?

telling us something with the [b]Bi grade[/b] stuff
Even think it was on the ImPure side of his mind. ]:)

But really Steffi, you or Col, should lift a tip of, shine some light, I mean show us where to find a clue, so we can work it out :D :p

Rob

[i]edited for format typo[/i]

A blonde is driving down the road and gets pulled over by a policeman,
Cop:"License please"
The blonde, looking flustered says "License?"
Cop:"The little card you keep in your purse that says you are allowed to drive"
Blonde: "Oh, OK" gets it out and hands it to the officer.
Cop: "Registration please?"
The blonde, flustered again: "Registration?"
Cop, getting a little frustrated: "The piece of paper in your glove box that says who owns the Car."
Blond, "OK, I've got that" and hands it to the officer.
At this point the cop unzips his pants.
Blonde: "Oh No, not another breathelizer test!"

Actually, it was Yosemite Sam that you to cuss at Bugs Bunny saying such things as "No good frazzle dazzle sassafrassen rabbit." :0

But, I expect that Tyler shouting "Kiss your sassafras" is more my speed than "D." talking to Sasquatch. B-)

Can you at least still like me? :8}

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's mini van
and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible
blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who
answered the door if they could spend the night.

"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to
myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will
talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the
weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for
the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.
They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney.
It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it
was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that
good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up North?"
"Yes, I do."
"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay
her a visit?"
"Yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out. "I have to admit
that I did."
"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do
you ask?"
"She just died and left me everything."

(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?)

[b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

A guy named JD, walked into a supermarket with his zipper down. A lady cashier walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open." Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.

When he was about done shopping, a man came up and said,"Your fly is open." He zipped up and finished his shopping. At the checkout, he intentionally got in the line where the lady was that told him about his "barracks door."

He was planning to have a little fun with her, so when he reached the counter he said, "When you saw my barracks door open, did you see a Marine standing in there at attention?"

The lady thought for a moment and said "No, no I didn't. All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on a couple of old duffel bags."

[b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this
true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?
Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily
allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms
up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable
oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables
be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO . Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the
best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and diets.

And remember:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to
skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, [b][i]"Whoohoo what a
ride!!!!!"[/i]

Dawg[/b] ]:)

NewsMax.com has received a flood of e-mail in response to the article
AMA Launches Attack on Guns. And these readers have a modest proposal:
Ban those dangerous docs, before they kill again.

Writes one: "I find it interesting that the AMA is so concerned about
gun control when statistics show us that more people are killed every
year by doctor error than are killed by guns. I guess they feel they have
a better chance of making a difference with guns than making doctors
competent."

Another writes:

"Number of physicians in the U.S: 700,000. Accidental deaths caused by
physicians per year: 120,000. Accidental deaths per physician: 0.171
(U.S. Department of Health and Human Services).

"Number of gun owners in the U.S.: 80,000,000. Number of accidental gun
deaths per year (all age groups) 1,500. Accidental deaths per gun
owner: 0.0000188. Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more
dangerous than gun owners.

"FACT: Not everyone has a gun, but everyone has at least one doctor.
Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors
before this gets out of hand.

"Remember: guns don't kill people; doctors do."

[b]Dawgs[/b] ]:)

A couple of old guys were golfing one day, when one of the men said that he was going to go to Dr. Basil for a new set of dentures in the morning.

His elderly friend remarked that he, too, had gone to the very same dentist two years before.

"Is that so?" the first old gentleman asked. "Did he do a good job?"

The second gent replied, "Well, I was on the golf course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot. The ball must have been going at least 200 mph when it smacked me right in the nuts."

The first old guy was confused and asked, "What does that have to do with your dentures?"

"Well," the second man answered, "that was the first time in two years that my teeth didn't hurt."

One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, "Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun."

The woman doctor agrees to it.

So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes.

Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have sex for an hour or so.

Afterwards, the man says to the woman, "You're a surgeon, aren't you?"

"Yeah, how did you know?"

The man says, "I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started."

"Oh, that makes sense", says the woman. " You're an anesthesiologist aren't you?"

"Yeah", says the man , a bit surprised. "How did you know?"

The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."

It's miles way to painful. :_|

http://tinyurl.com/rzp7w

to beat Maxwell to the line.

But then he really doesn't hang around here that much, does he? ]:)

If you stop advising Steffi on what not to do. The trouble is that she follows your advice and it's way too painful to be allowed to continue so [b]PLEASE YOUR MAJESTY[/b] just sit back and Rule TR with an Iron Fist and stop handing out free tips to the plebes. :p

It's not your job you are supposed to sit there on your Throne looking beautiful and not doing anything. You are not supposed to encourage the [b]PUREST ONES[/b] into action if you continue doing this you'll be deposed by a popular uprising so to keep your Position intact it may be better if you stopped encouraging the Good Girls to be not quite so good. :x

Col ]:)

OS Airlines

editing to add:

To bring it up to date:

Vista Air, even bigger planes, with even more expensive tickets. Almost never leaves the runway when it does it crashes, killing everything for 600 miles around it.
You get to choose from 4 delightful alternatives from expensive to hideously over priced and the dis-functionality that has become the MS trademark. While in flight you find out there is an additional charge for the control towers service. It's a bad Disney spoof running over and over again for the in flight entertainment. The food is world war one c rations, dredged from the bottom of the sea. All the in-flight service staff have some deadly infectious disease.

What is the difference between a lawyer and a carp?

One is a scumsucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish.

How do you tell when a lawyer is lying?
Their lips move.

True story personal experience. I used to live next door to a law student. she had been working on her degree for about 10 years supplementing her income by importing wooly mammoth sculls and tusks from canada. It paid for school and then some plus it was only a few hours a week plus a few trips north each year. She had finished all her classes and was getting very excited about taking her bart exams and starting to practice. The day of her bar exams, I came home from work to see her sunning on her back deck (always something I looked forward to) when I asked her about the exam she looked up and said, "OH, I didn't go. I was getting ready this morning when I looked in the mirror and it hit me, Just what the world needs, another F***ing lawyer."

means there is trues in it :0
even more ... the image that Col provides does seem to explain a lot about the "loving" relation between the two of you :D ;)

Rob

Of Course I like you :D

I almost love you because you know about the sass!!

I do apologise for getting so excited but no one in Germany seems to of heard of the D so I havent been able to talk about how great they are in ages!!

And Col, leave GG alone it's not her fault if she wants to help in increasing my impurity!!

:p

avitar is to show how the relation would be if Col did comment, with the results shown before by Col. ]:)

Thought it would be more like cat and dog but hey cat and fish will do nicely as well :)

Did I mention ... Nice avitar :x

Rob

[i]edited for format typo[/i]

And yes, its to show Col that he can be my fish if he wants but I'll always be the pussy cat ]:) so he has to beware

But I've also changed it to this because everyone has been picking on Shell saying cats denote purity, this is just to prove that thats not always the case and just because your av is a cat, dont make you pure :D

it makes it [i] far more [/i] [b] impure [/b]

- just remove the word "cat" in the first sentence.....

;)

GG

]:)

She's a real [b]Lady[/b] and not only knows it but delights in messing with others minds and telling them how to do things which she would never personally dream of doing herself. :p

She's a [b]Perfect Example[/b] of what my long dead father used to say [b]There's no such thing as a Good Girl that are Bad Girls and Better Girls [i]That's better at being BAD![/i][/b] :D

GG is obviously trying to move you to the second group as you grow up. :^0

Col ]:)

I need one :(

Edited to add - Love the new av GG :D

I'm a [b] very, very [/b] good girl.

I still haven't had any complaints ;)

and if you're wondering what I'm [b] very, very [/b] good at.....

it's at being [b] [i] [u] very, very bad..... [/b] [/i] [/u]

in the nicest possible way, of course... :8}

]:) ]:)

GG

Your new Avatar of a beat up Pu$$y Cat is so terrifying that I don't know what to think about as I roll around the floor laughing. :D

Provided that I'm quite and don't wake up [b]SWMBO[/b] I'll be safe and actually that was a picture of me taken on 11-9 2001 after I didn't work fast enough to suit [b]SWMBO[/b] so she threw a 2.5 ton Car on to me and tried to kill me off. Unfortunately she didn't succeeded and I was left to suffer with the broken ribs. But on the up side she couldn't look me in the face for several weeks without going all weak at the knees and being terrified of what I was going to do to her when I responded. She's still waiting and is still scared as Hell. :^0

Col ]:)

you're trying to please Col? Col? A man? Wha'?

Stick with the impure version. Don't please the men around here. Just wind 'em up, that's what they're there for....

;\

GG

Col, that's the best giggle I've had all day - "quacking in my shoes"

you have NO IDEA what visions are flying around in my mind at the moment....

(Look! Daffy Duck on a motorbike! :D :p )

GG

[b]YOU SEXY THING![/b]

Yes I know exactly what you mean because I know who you are by the way that you infer things. You are as [b]Pure as the Driven Snow[/b] when it suits you and when you want to have some enjoyment you know exactly how to get the maximum enjoyment possible as well. :D

[b]Poor Young Little Steffi[/b] on the other hand is still marching about Germany in an attempt to fit in so she needs all the help that you can give her. Eventually she just may catch on how to behave but till them I can enjoy myself at her expense. After all putting in an Avatar of a [b]Beat Up Pu$$y[/b] is just too funny for words isn't it? :D

Never mind if you take her under your wing GG she'll eventually grow up and learn how a [b]Lady Behaves.[/b] :x

Col

you're obviously having a bad day, dear.

Now.

Wanna re-edit that post and NT that one, too?!

GG

Now who's winding who up? :D :^0 :D :^0

Col