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School over 40

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by purpleskys

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It seems my days are counting down and before I know it, I'm going to be sitting in a classroom for the first time in years. Now grant you, when I worked in a local carpet factory, I was very union involved and as such took a lot of educational classes revolving around my union work ie. shop stewart, financial secretary, human rights, women's right etc. Most of these courses were in classroom type settings but only lasted 1-5 days.
Next week I will be a full time student at our local Community College enroled in Office Administration, holding down a part time job (my bosses have been gracious enough to adjust my working hours around my school hours), and being Mommy. Thankfully, I have an extremely supportive spouse. Without his support, I would not likely be able to go through with this opportunity (it was him that gave me the shove in this direction too ;), he's very big on education).
So, I'm wondering if there are any other folks out there that have done the same thing I am about to dive into. How did you folks juggle the whole school, work, parent thing without going completely bonkers?

65 replies

by deadly ernest

I left school at sixteen (year ten), did my Higher School Certificate as a private study student (read just sit exams) eight years later - not classes at all. Twenty-six years later at forty-two years of age I went and did a post grad certificate as a distance learning class of four weeks in class during regular school break time, go away and do studies and assignments, another four week six months later - that took two years. One year into this I started doing full-time studies because I was laid off and they paid for course up to a certain level of funding. I did four years as a f-t student doing a number of diplomas at once.

As a mature full-time student in a tech college surrounded by kids out of high school, I got a lot odd looks from the kids. But it was fun doing the course and we all learned to get along. Overall I found it a fun time.

One piece of advice - with some classes we would gather in the library and borrow one of the bigger study rooms to discuss the work to make sure we all had a clear understanding of it - that helped a lot of us a lot.

edit to add --

At this time I was going through a divorce and my ex was doing all she could to make it difficult (including accusations of child abuse until the judge got fed up and threatened to throw her out of court if she lodged another false accusation- two thorough investigations were enough for her). I found being involved in the studies and having to concentrate on them helped me to get through that time as well, also the support from the few other students who knew about it helped too - small community colleges are hard to hide things in.

by notsochiguy

I recently completed my Master's degree. I did this while working full time (switched jobs at the half way point), raising one young girl, welcoming a new born (as well as "making" yet another...you read those 99% effective claims, I'm Mr. 1%...2 times), and obtaining my black belt.

WHEW!! :)

Like you, though, my spouse was fantastic about everything. Without her, none of that is possible (especially the kids part, but I digress). I was a bit younger (early 30's when I started)...but I don't view that as overly significant.

The keys for me were:
1). Stay ahead of the school work: if you know what is due in three weeks, knock it out in two, if you have the time.
2). Pay attention to the family: it will be a juggling act, but make sure you give as much attention to the loved ones as possible.
3). Reward your spouse: let the S.O. know that you appreciate the support.
4). Find more free time: if people examine what they typically do during a day, most could find an extra hour or so (one less TV show, adjust commuting times, etc). That freed up time is great for school work. In my case, instead of snoozing away on the commuter train to/from work, I used that time to read and type up some assignments. That was 2 hours each day I didn't have to take away from the family.
5). Take mental health/physical health days: While the time commitment was tough, working towards my Black Belt at the same time was a form of catharsis for me; it allowed me to blow off the steam that would build from other aspects of life. I'd also take days where I wouldn't do any school work--just spend time relaxing with the family. It helped my maintain my focus, and reaffirm why I was going to school.

Everyone is different, so what worked for me may tank someone else.

In any event, best of luck!

by purpleskys

those are some good ideas for me to keep in mind...i'm thinking there are most likely a class or two i can opt out of (like keyboarding, i took typing 25 yrs ago so i'm pretty much trained in that aspect although my speed could use some brushing up), that may free up some time to do other school work or assignments that need attention.

by em dubyah

I'm currently working on my undergrad. I've researched the matter, and decided to go with the online campus route. This way I retain flexibility in regards to location. If I need to relocate for whatever reason, all I need to do is pop open my notebook PC, stick in my air card, and VOILA - instant classroom. Unfortunately, my current job is very scholastic unfriendly, and in the 4 months I've been here, I've failed 2 classes, because work comes first. This is fine, as this week I begin a new job search. I've never worked somewhere that is scholastic unfriendly.

by purpleskys

hopefully your new position will grant you more time to apply to your studies...keep your chin up, you can do it :) I was lucky I think, before I spoke to my current employers, I figured they would let me go when I told them I was returning to school, I was mentally prepared for it as well. We'll see how things progress with them as time goes on.

by tony hopkinson

I did open university (mainly correspondance, but includes class tution and a trip to a 'real' universtity.

That was while working shifts, with ayoung family.

Making time for study is hard, you have to put your foot down and make sure you get the space.

Don't let them near your coloured pens, you'll never see them again. :p

The big hits though, are learning how to learn again, and learning how much you forgot through lack of use.

I started with Maths, they gave me a this is what you should know already questionaire, and I couldn't (initially) do question 1, which was add two fractions....

Sat there staring at it, until I remembered for 15 minutes, thinking what the heck have I let myself in for.

Take your time.

PS Don't let the nice butt of the young man in front of you be too much of a distraction.

Learning is fun, and now you are an adult, you are allowed to enjoy it.

by purpleskys

Lol!!! oh ok...although i find i'm normally more distracted by good looking, distingished, older men (I married one ;) )...the instructors may be more of a "distraction" than the good looking young students...oppss...hubby may be reading this...and he likely knows most of the intructors, he used to be one at this college...

I am a bit concerned about figuring out the whole learning process again in a formal classroom setting. I have a tendancy to be outspoken and rather blunt...not sure how that's going to work, I may also have to learn how to let my brain work before my mouth starts to speak.

Thanks Tony

by tony hopkinson

I like blunt. None of that "What did they really mean stuff"

Have to play that one by ear, you could end up in the naughty room for disrupting class, or you could end up sat there not learning anything anyway.

Put your hand up and bounce about vigorously most blokes notice that, and will forgive anything at that point.

by dadspad

Once you have been going to college, it will not seem so hard to juggle with other duties. Some just consider it like a 2nd job that is necessary.

One of the options,at least later, could be online courses. So, depends on what you want.

by purpleskys

Thanks DadsPad, good perspective to keep in mind, but now you have me wondering how many of my courses i could actually do from home...hmmm...Darryl, do they offer that kind of format at the NSCC?

by darryl~

but the program you are signed up for doesn't utilize them.

There is quite a bit of stuff you will be able to do from home but I don't think they have their network set up for you to log in remotely.

Once you get the course outlines it will be easier to determine which classes you must attend and which ones you don't. Some of the courses will be more like you're working along on your own & the instructor is just there to answer questions anyway...you may find it easier to do those from home while "little miss" is in school & you can use your own computer then just either email or burn a cd of your work to take back to school.....That's sort of how I did it.

by older mycroft

...and my Mum was probably one of the most intelligent folk I've ever known. She was a lot brighter than me.

I chucked in my last job in the Print field to become a full-time computer science student and found the whole year highly enjoyable, the odd thing being that it appeared to me that much of the course was relatively easy BECAUSE I was an adult - which confounded me because when I did my original college course I 'thought' I was an adult then!

I had 'kids' in their 20s asking me for advice, which rather bemused me but all in all I loved every minute of it.

As for the juggling of family commitments I cannot comment since I didn't have any. But I look upon my one year as a post-grad student as probably the most enjoyable year of my life. That was the year (at 40 years of age) that I finally grew up.

[i]I missed my own Graduation because on that day I was burying my Mum - that still sends a bit of a shiver down my spine when I think of it.[/i]

by purpleskys

for sharing your story...in a way, i suppose i felt the same when i went to vocational school when i was 17, i figured i was an adult then too because i was no longer in high school. I'm truly hoping that this will be a rewarding and enriching experience for me.

by darryl~

on the table when he gets home from work. Have the kids fed & well behaved...so on & so on. :D

Yeah right...lol....in my wildest dreams....school or no school.

by purpleskys

everyone keep in mind this is my "chef" talking...this isn't meant to sound like i'm bragging or anything but...i tried to make my own supper last night, but next thing i knew someone was cutting cucumbers, tomatoes and green peppers onto the side of my plate "gotta keep my wife healthy" is what i'm told...then he proceeds to emptying the dishwasher (which he finished loading and ran while i took my middle girl to her father's) and cleaning the kitchen...what's a girl to do? ;)

by jck

Well, I'm actually considering going back to school to do pre-law work.

My uncle who is an attorney has been having my aunt press my mother to ask if I am interested in going back to school to do law and take over his firm.

I am seriously considering it, as I really am about burnt on the computer field. It seems as though in computers, both employers in private and public sector don't listen to their IT department/management when it comes to technology decisions like they should.

Plus, I'd walk into a pre-built practice and have work from day one. I don't think it would be a bad deal.

I'll make the decision within a few months.

by purpleskys

...my step son took the leap from engineering to law...he seems to enjoy it...good luck with making your decision :)

by jck

I am in a position where I need to be in a job that's stable so that I can leave from my office, and head to night school and do the pre-law work.

Plus, I have to call the two law schools I would looking to attend and find out what courses and accreditations they accept for law school entrance, LSAT standards, etc.

The best thing is: my uncle does no criminal case work. He is basically a probate/settlement/wills/deeds/land management type.

There's no way I'd go into criminal litigation. You couldn't pay me enough to defend someone who I knew was guilty of a crime for any amount of money.

by purpleskys

i see what you're saying...we'll have to talk about this more when i figure out what's going on with all my different courses...you're a peach :D

by older mycroft

Simply be 'doing law' doesn't make you Judge & Jury as well.

It might pay you well to consider that. You're not there to pass judgement - if that's what you fancy doing then you're in the wrong job. ;)

by older mycroft

I was working as Production Manager in a web press company, running a scheduled print run of an Arab Newspaper when we got a phonecall saying there was a bomb underneath one of the web presses.

Now, a web press is several TENS of HUNDREDS of feet long so I just emptied the factory, with the web slowing down (which could take anything up to 20 minutes). The Bomb Squad arrived about 30 minutes later and found a [b]LIVE C4 bomb[/b] it was disposed of in a "controlled explosion" which rendered one of the webs useless for the following 3 months.

However, no matter what the editorial content of the Arab magazine, the print run was just a contract plain and simple. The printing company was not guilty of anything, but some folk would have judged it so.

by jck

But if you are appointed by the court to go into your office with a client who is accused of raping and murdering a teenage girl and he tells you "listen...I did it. So what you gonna do to get me outta this wrap?", the most you can do with a case like that is ask the court to recuse you from being defense.

I can't just turn the switch on and off based on personal vs professional life.

I'm human 24/7.

That's why the property/rights/settlement law is so attractive. Nothing more than figuring out who has rights to what and advising your client.

by purpleskys

i can understand your position on that as well, there would be no way i could defend someone i knew was guilty either, my good conscience just wouldn't let me...i believe it is political law my step son is doing (Darryl will correct me if i'm wrong)...

by darryl~

is more what he's aiming for :D Everytime I ask him when he'll be finished university it seems like there's another year tacked on ?:|

Maybe he's trying to get more years of formal education than his dad :O

by jck

I knew guys like that in college. They had been there 7-9 years, kept changing majors, and were living off the educational grants and loans.

I took 6 1/2 years to finish, but I changed majors after 3 years. Otherwise, I would have finished in 4 1/2. :^0

by gadgetgirl

He's 43. Never worked a day in his life. He's decided to go back - AGAIN - and do ANOTHER PhD....

Wife, two kids, can't drive, wife has to work.

He hasn't even had a part time job.

GRRR!

GG

by gadgetgirl

Went back to college for an accreditation and stopped on for an honours degree, divorced inbetween, with 14 year old daughter....

I was on a course for, they told me, "mature students". Hah! Mature apparently means over 19 years of age..... only six of a class of 25 were over 25....! :D

I found that the six of us were more applied; we didn't leave things till the last minute, and usually it was we who asked the obvious questions that the younger ones didn't want to in case they looked stupid.

Between us we were pseudo-parents, confidantes and helpers for the whole five years I was there.

It's rough till you get settled into a routine. Don't think if your routine isn't working for you that you can't change it; ask for help (DARRYL!!!) and brush up your time management skills - you'll need 'em. Try to get a fixed routine, so you know what needs doing by when - not just assignments, but laundry, food shopping, parents nights at school etc. Timetable yourself if you have to: it's the only way to get through it.

I thoroughly enjoyed my time - like you, I didn't know what I was getting in to at first, but the lecturers put me at ease. They actually seemed to enjoy having me to ask questions - they took great delight in detailed answers...... sometimes to my own detriment....! (bang goes that hour I was going to use for laundry!)

Just remember to listen, too. The younger ones are more likely to ask questions of you. A word of warning - don't start sentences with "I remember when...." or "when I was younger..." All that does is remind them of their parents!

oh, and prepare to be a mediator. Not just between students, but also between students and lecturers. I earned a G & T from some of 'em for pointing out to a lecturer that the amount of detail she needed in one assignment for a complete answer was far more than she'd given us time for. I won - a weeks' extension... :p

Good luck and enjoy it Purple. It's better when you're older.

(yeesh, I mean college. Your mind is nearly as mucky as mine..... ;) )

If I can help with anything, just pm me

GG

Edit: can't spool when it a Bonk Hooliday :p

by purpleskys

thank you so much GG...(no offense to our male counterparts, but i was hoping for some female views as well as we tend to think we're ten ft tall and bullet proof at times)...i have no doubt Darryl is 100% behind me and likely will be helping when i don't even ask for it (i am kinda stubborn that way but he sees when i need it)...if i need to pick your brain, i'll definitely let you know :)

by darryl~

Boxy & Shell....that looks aimed at you..sounds like an open inventation to you girls... :)

by older mycroft

I fully agree.

It's only when you [b]DO[/b] mature, that you come to realise how immature you were before. But that's just life, eh? ;)

by darryl~

He was over to see me & Purple yesterday(I think he really just comes over to see his little sister) before heading back to university today...he has switched majors a couple times but I do understand it's better he figures out what he wants to do now instead of later....I'm just sort of picking on him while he's not here to defend himself :)

by gsg

If I had to do it all over again, that's what I'd do, whether as a paralegal or a lawyer.

If I went the paralegal route, I'd go into criminal law, but not as a lawyer. I'd go the way of your uncle into probate, etc...

My law classes were my absolute favorite.

by jck

That's what has me so intrigued about starting to take over his practice in 6 or 7 years.

I actually took a look at admissions today. One of the law school only requires a B.A. or B.S. degree (which I have), passing the LSAT, and registering for some LSDAS or something (which I'd figure out).

I am going to actually talk to the president of one of the universities about it, and get his advice. He's been a personal friend of my parents for almost 40 years, and was interested in having me come to law school as well as had offered for me to page for him in Washington when he was a senator and I was in high school.

If all goes well, I will be out of Florida and attending by 2011. If it goes sort of well, I might have to do levelling work through 2012.

I am just taking it step by step.

by darryl~

That seems to be the direction my son is following.

He started off in Engineering & was required to take a "humanities" course that led him to become very interested in Law....he's now doing the "Political Science" thing.....It's not for everyone, but I know he enjoys it....he can transfer many of his Physics credits towards Law...I was surprised about that....I guess I never thought of them being similar but it all comes down to "logical" reasioning.

by jck

I'd go to church.

I want a job where I can make good money doing my job right and doing right by others.

In computers, it's become almost impossible to do what is right because the bean counters have more pull on what projects are "necessary" than those trying to sustain needed technology infrastructures in their operation.

With law, I follow the court-handed-down mandates and guidelines, and give my customers a thoroughly honed product and feel good about doing well by someone under the law.

by jck

I had to work when I went for my Bachelor's degree, or hold a scholarship that would pay for everything.

I don't get how people live in that way.

by darryl~

Just a little more of the "female" input ;)

Even I wasn't 40 last time I was in school :D

by jck

Last time I was in school, I was...24?

Eeek...ugh. I'm going to take Friday off. I need the time to get things caught up.

Blah. I need a holiday.

by purpleskys

more the Mom type opinion...but todays dads are just involved with their kids as moms and in doing housework and whatnot...so i guess it's more of a "parent" opinion...managing being a f/t student, working p/t and being a parent...our toughest challenge atm is finding a sitter...sigh...

by jck

I was shocked to find out that I could enter law school with a Computer Science degree.

by boxfiddler

in my mid-forties. One of the best moves I've ever made.
To make a long story short, I wound up working in the Supplemental Instruction program on my campus, first as a SI Leader, then SI Supervisor. From there, Internet/Web-based teacher. Still at that.

Take night classes if possible, many more older people in night classes. Keep your ears open - listen to what students are saying about teachers. Listen to why they like this teacher or that. Sometimes it's because the teacher is easy or never fails anyone - you don't want those teachers.

You may find some teachers who befriend older students. That's how I wound up teaching after graduating. My department chair liked my work with the SI Program.

http://web2.umkc.edu/cad/SI/overview.html
Supplemental Instruction is an international program. It may have a presence on your campus. It usually pays well, including part of your tuition. Peer me, and I'll tell you more about it.

Good luck! And do enjoy!

by purpleskys

but my computer crashed...sigh...will sit down tonight after all the fuss of getting my big girl back to her dads'...she stayed with us for the summer to look after her little sister for us while we worked...it was really cool having her here...i'm gonna miss having her around...sigh...

by darryl~

That would be real good....Monday's a holiday here...4 day weekend....hummmm I still have unused vacation time. :)

by shellbot

I've actually not much to add..
I'm under 40 :p ...and I've never "gone back" to school.

I've done some M$ cert courses, but they were pretty much "work at your own speed". Went in a few evenings a week if i felt like it...if didn't feel like it..didn't go in.

So, I'm not really any help here..sorry :(

Maybe in a couple years I'll be the one asking Purple to give me advice :)

by darryl~

I don't think it's so much a matter of going "back" to school as it is getting your head around "going" to school or updating your skills...you probably did your M$ certs while working & dealing with other responsibilities....that's the part that's difficult when going back to school as an adult.....you have a lot more to consider than when going to school as a teenager.

by shellbot

I'll have a think about it :)

There was the whole getting home at 10.30 pm and falling into bed to get up at 6.30 am..

I didn't deal with it too well :D

by darryl~

6 months under 40 when I graduated my most recent diploma....still under though :)

by jck

I've planned a bit of time off in December. If I don't swap jobs, I'll be guaranteed to take it.

It is pouring rain here, and no tropical storm. Means I don't have to mow again. WOOHOO!! :^0

Anyone have a hay bailer I can borrow? I'll need it if it keeps raining the next couple of days :^0

by shellbot

LOL
I don't have one ye can borrow..but if ye find one, I'll come help!

Just seeing "hay bailer" made me laugh!
Grew up on a farm..long late summer days helping out..used to hate it, but for a girl i had some arm strength!

Ah man..stacking bales..making me itchy just thinking about it :)

by jck

That's one of the ways I used to make money in the summer.

But if it was oh...around 41-43C in the midst of the day, it wasn't that fun.

Irony is: if I could find an outdoor job that paid really well, I'd consider it. I'm tired of offices after 15 years, plus always being a book nerd/tech geek and spending my youth 95% indoors.

I want to frolick through the trees...
I want to skip and jump...
I want to pick wild flowers...

Oh wait, this belongs in the geek movie/Monty Python discussion lol :^0

by shellbot

enough with my office job for now..

wouldn't mind lending someone a hand outdoors..but not full time :)

by jck

I really am starting to wonder if I can concentrate indoors anymore. Something about the fan blowing and the hum from fluorescent lights just seems to grind a nerve now. I'd rather hear birds sing and limbs rattle from squirrels jumping around.

But, you don't find a lot of outdoorsy jobs paying $70k. :^0

Oh well. Life goes on for now. :)

by shellbot

I can see that..
lately things like that get on my nerves as well..

wish i could take a 6 month "time out" to recharge..but thats not gonna happen..

and ya..not many outdoorsy jobs pay that kinda money.. :)

by ksoniat

Though I was married (27), I went back before kids. It is easy to "compete" with 18 year olds - many classes were graded on a curve - I usually set the curve (4.0 for CS degree).

One of my daughters teachers just finished her masters...she has family, and taught all day and took classes at night. She was energized to be learning especially if she could apply it immediately to class, but was glad when she was finished.

Good Luck!!! I happen to know you have some good support from your family. :)

by purpleskys

although i'm currently biting my nails...i'm actually a little nervous going into this...

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