The Blunders of Beth

Surely I have something of value to add to this site, it's around here somewhere...hold it...I'm looking! I know it's not under my right shift key. That fell off the keyboard a couple of weeks ago. Ah! How to adjust! That's what I have to offer to this site! In the case of my right shift key, I am gifted with small fingers, so my picky fits nice atop the little white protruding "thingy" that is where the cover labeld "Shift" used to be.

I'm only a smidgeon brighter than the average person that ITs have to rescue daily. I understand that as a consumer I am not to eat any keys that fall off my keyboard. (Hopefully that will give me a gain of 10 points in your eyes.) I'm actually able to comprehend 35% of what I read on this site (another 10 points?) 20 points is all I can possibly hope for at present. Realizing that is 50 points shy of a barely passing grade, I can only hope that resident geeks have as much compassion as they have humor. I've read some of the finest writing I've ever seen on the Net at this site, and that's part of the reason I am here.

Poverty is another reason. I can't afford to hire any of you, and I can't afford to go to school to try to learn what you know, so I read and apply anything I can comprehend. Occasionally I hop into a discussion, since I've been alive long enough to have had many different types of employment, including management and teaching, although only to support my addiction to writing (and eating on a regular basis).

I don't fit anywhere in any social sense, but I get by everywhere...thus my ability to adjust! If I had the formal education to back me I might qualify as a geek, but alas! I am but a nerd! I shudder at the thought that, after all of these years as a person who didn't follow the crowd and struck out for independence at the risk of life and limb, I may, in my later years, have become (shudder!) a groupie!

Don't TOS me out! I'll wash Windows. I'll bake cookies! I'll polish your boot (both if there is time). I'll make homemade chicken soup for all of the viruses you find. Surely there's plenty I can do to earn my keep!

Having hung the curtains, I went about putting things in order, or so I thought, but I came across some wrinkles in the fabric here and am looking for an iron!

I posted in Projects, but the tags do not appear.

I edited my profile (deleting an unnecessary "s" and adding some "stuff" so that suggested links would come my way) and now all of the things I added have disappeared as well as the "stuff" that was there yesterday. The "s" though is still sitting there laughing at me.

Ah! The s**t fairy has followed me into Tech Republic.

I just added to a post and spelled label as lable, but haven't the courage to edit the post....(looking behind me). I'm afraid that "s" may pop up and when I edit and check the post again it will read "lables".

OK...wrinkles it is. I've dealt with them before. Sometimes it takes a little stream to get rid of them.

I didn't check into My Workspace for a couple of days, and while I was out someone completely remodeled it! I love the color! I love the arrangement. I just finished reading a blog about cubicles (Are Cubicles Evil?), and feel as if I've been given an office with more than one room! As people were moving things around though, someone lost my history! Whomever left me a nice note saying "We're sorry." I've decided to leave a note for Whomever in case s/he/they return.

Dear Whomever,

I got your note and have gone through a series of emotions/thoughts as a result. I want to share those with you.
1. I DO have a history! I dared to speak up at three discussions. Do you have any idea how much courage that took for me!
2. At my age losing my history is not such a bad thing. In a few more years, from what I have gathered, I'll probably lose my present, too.
3. Did you throw it away because of the title of my blog?
4.We all blunder. I HAVE to forgive you. Besides, what's my option? I'm here on a scholarship to begin with!
5. Whomever, it's natural enough when Spring cleaning to dispose of things and then regret it a bit later. Forget the regret. Life is just too short!

Sincerely,
Beth

There! Now I feel better!

What's most important to me in My Workspace are the suggestions and the links I have saved. As I scrolled through the list I smiled, for I truly have applied some of the things I've read here. I now have three browsers, IE, Firefox and Opera.(Before reading here I thought a browser was someone who liked to window shop!) I use IE for Yahoo and playing. I use Firefox for the good stuff.(No offense meant to Yahoo.) I just downloaded Opera today and need to test it out for a bit to see what I will use it for. I see a browser as similar to a car. It may seem fine on a spin around the block, but it takes a long trip to see its true performance and mileage. Eventually I may even make a serious post here in my blog about the three, for I see that all three have special qualities, depending upon what I am doing online. I've been tweaking more than little children's cheeks, thanks to the things I've read here. The only problem I'm having is that as my way of thinking changes, and my vocabulary changes, the people in my immediate physical environment may give me a few side glances if I get excited about browsers and tweaking. One of these people might call the cops!

    It was bound to happen. I just didn't expect it to happen so soon!
    A friend asked me to help her today. She has a new computer, and is new to computers, so I went to her home with the thought of simply showing her a few things and downloading Yahoo messenger so that I could guide her in the future as we chatted from PC to PC. But when I booted up, I saw that her security wasn't active, so it was first things first. I ran a scan and she lucked out. (Her son had already been surfing and downloading things.) We set up a password so that anyone who tries to use the computer has to get her permission first. She now has McAfee Security active.
    Her minister had given her his copy of Publisher 2003. I installed that, but explained that it was useless without a word processor, so I downloaded Openoffice.(She only had a trial offer for Word Perfect.) I set her up with 1-Click Answers, and showed her how it works. She's just started taking courses at a community college and got excited about 1-Click. "That's so simple, even I can do it!"
    I explained the value of a screen saver, since she has young children and has to leave her computer at times, but won't want to keep putting it on standby each time.
    I spoke to her about browsers, but by then her "sponge" was full, so I told her I will return tomorrow to give her Firefox and to explain how to use it.
    When I did download Yahoo messenger, her microphone didn't work. I checked everything I could think of to check and went through the control panel. All looks well; it simply doesn't work! Tomorrow I will bring my microphone over to see if it's the hardware that is messed up.I was going to suggest Skype, rather than messenger, but I knew she'd get a kick out of playing with the kid stuff on messenger. It's something that the other students might have. Once she's used to using her computer she can get in touch with study partners easily.
    When she told  me the printer wasn't working, I was surprised because it was new. I found that the paper simply wasn't set into the feed properly. The first thing I asked though, was: "Did you turn it on?"
    We went to lunch and she insisted on paying. Does that make me a pro? If so I make about $1.25 an hour, but then I'm new at this!

   
   
 

As
I was checking out some books yesterday at the public library, Lorraine, one of
several librarian friends, asked, "What are you up to now,
Beth?" I grinned and handed her the books: Quantum Philosophy by Roland
Omnes, Physics is Constipated by Milton W. Monson Sr., and God and the Astronomer
by Robert Jastrow. "Dear Lord!" she said as she ran the scanner over
my library card. Considering that I wrote a short piece of fiction about
scanners and debit cards in 1969 (although I did not use those labels for them)
I felt that I was simply trying to catch up with myself. Lorraine just shook
her head.

Things have begun to "click" for me in the past month, since spending
time reading here at TR. Since intuition has been my guide for so long, it made
sense to me to follow it as I perused the bookshelf. I've found so far that
Jastrow is a professed agnostic, yet sees what would prove to him that the
creation theory is compatible with the big bang theory. Monson, from what I
have read thus far, decided that Einstein took too much license replacing
numerical values with unit designations rather than using them together. He
expresses annoyance at the fact that the equations of academic physicists do
not balance. I don't have the experiential background to either agree or
disagree, so I am simply reading, digesting all I can and laughing, as I
consider that I have most typically entered in at a side door in the middle of
a major debate.

Who me? I was selected for a course in Modern Mathematics when I was in high
school in the 60's, but when my father found that my instructor was homosexual,
he told me I had better flunk the course if I knew what was good for me. I was
also the only female in a physics class. The instructor there didn't notice
until three days into the course when he said, "We have a rose among the
thorns!" Receiving too much physical attention from both instructors, I
decided that I was better off to wander away. I married a coal miner's son a
year after graduating from high school. It was not a bad choice. He liked my
intelligence, tolerated my reading and writing, and taught me to laugh. He died
very young.  I would have missed out on becoming humanized if I hadn't
shared with him.

Here I sit 40 years later, scratching my head and chuckling at myself. There's
a pony in this pile of manure and I intend to shovel my way through to find it. Since it has just been proven that black holes do not actually exist, I think
I've arrived at just the right moment to be able to be grateful that I wasn't
poorly programmed. The advantage of being the new kid on the block is that I
have a mind that is open. The advantage of being a "little old lady"
is that I already had life experience in the emotional realm and find playing
with math and science relaxing.

Square one it is, then. I have no goal other than to enjoy the journey
and zap as many people with joy as I can along the way, so I have not set myself
up to fail. I arrived with joy and continue on with joy. The only crisis I have
is in deciding which kind of nut I am. I am torn between an almond and a pistachio.

Today is Captain Kirk's birthday. I came across that happy bit of news through reading Today's Highlights that pops up every morning ever since I installed 1-Click Answers (Answers.com) on my desktop. At warp speed I made my first "official" post here at TR. At last! Some valuable information to offer to the site! (Well, at least Trivia Geek might think so!)

I had house cleaning to do on My Workspace. I apparently made the mistake of reading too many security posts, so my suggestions box was chock full of links having to do with security. What the heck, I read 3/4 of them as I cleaned it out. Since any security issues I have surround only one computer, a lot of the reading was superfluous, but I never know what I might learn when I read anything. An open mind is much nicer than an empty head.

Over 28 years ago I joined another group of people and the training manual used the line, "Intuitively you will know how to handle situations which used to baffle you." I grabbed onto that happy that there was somewhere with room for people like me. I have lived in "Beam me up, Scottie," mode ever since. Any baffling that is done now is done by those who have to deal with me, for I tend to come up with correct answers to complicated issues more often than not. Heads snap back. Those who obviously know more than I do snap at me, "Where did you get that information?" I give my usual dumb-ox smile and shrug my shoulders. Hey! Ideas are still free for the plucking, and the universe has an infinite supply of the things swarming around my head all of the time. I think of it as swatting flies at some moments. They even invade my sleep!

It takes a lot of manure to make the flowers grow and I'm a late bloomer so I have dealt with a lot of that stuff. When it got deep and I wanted to get off the planet (or at least have it stop spinning so rapidly) I simply remembered Captain Kirk and called out for Scottie. It hasn't failed to work as yet. Elevated thoughts and finely tuned intuition resolve a lot of conflict. But then I'm addressing myself to Techies, and you all have figured that much out by now. Computers wouldn't even exist if someone else hadn't decided to think on a different plane.

When the three dimensional world feels too confining, I just beam into the fourth dimension. There's enough space there for me to stretch and grow.

So Happy Birthday to Captain Kirk, and thanks to 1-Click Answers.

For the powers-that-be here at Tech Republic, I promise not to put security on any of my tags in the future! It took some time to clear out all of those suggestions! You guys/gals do a great job in making systems/networks secure! For my part, I guess my job in security is simply to give some hugs to all of you so that you can keep going.

The more I read at Tech Republic, the more I feel at times overwhelmed by how little I know. I have a folder full of saved pdf files that I have downloaded from this site, and am accepting that I will have to schedule a time to not only sort through them and categorize them, but also to actually sit and read them. Homework! I remind myself that I can eat an elephant if I do it one bite (byte) at a time.

There are times that I put myself on auto pilot. "Just read, Beth. Understanding will come in time." The problem, I find, with home study is that there are no tests to let me know if I have gained any ground. I simply plug away accepting that if I put in good information, when I need it good information will come back out. Time. That four letter word.

At times I am concerned about structure, but My Workspace helps me a lot in that area. I do go through the suggested links, deleting them as I deal with them. Yesterday was the first time I ever got that section of Workspace cleared out completely. I receive newletters in email, and follow many of the links included in them.

As I read discussions and see posts that cause me to think and glean information, I take the time to go to Profiles and read about those posting. I follow articles that they have listed in their Workspace, and save some to My Contacts for a time. Hopefully that was the intent of those who set up My Contacts to begin with. Initially I had to get past the repulsion of feeling as if I was a stalker.

I've taken an active part in a few discussions, wanting to share what I can that might be helpful to others at this site, but for the most part I read, and read, and read! I'm "old school" and would like to send out thank you notes to the many who have helped me without knowing that they were doing so. The best I can think of to do is to continue to keep this blog and hope that some of you read it and realize that the time you take to sit at your keyboards is enriching my mind and life.

For the most part, though, emotions don't enter in. I joined this site to learn, and learning for me is a logical process. I experience emotions, allow them a moment in the sun, and then promise them a walk if they will just sit quietly while I study. Thus far that seems to work well. I make certain that I get away from my computer several times a day, and those that I talk to when away from the monitor seem well pleased that I am smiling so much.

Well, there you have it, Folks. This was my emotional sun break....now back to reading!

Heloise excels at sharing household hints, and the Farmers Almanac offers similar for those working in agriculture.  I think it's time someone sat to write lists of simple things to apply in workplace situations. Since I don't see anyone close at hand that I can delegate this assignment to, I've decided to see what I can come up with. If nothing else, listing what has proven to work for me will remind me to continue apply what I have learned.

v     Find
something you honestly like about another person, even if it?s only the fact
that s/he has stylish shoes. Comment on that. Positive truth balances the
scales in a stress filled day.

 

v     Increase
your vocabulary by taking the time to find a term of nonsense that causes you
to laugh, even if the laugh is cynical. The key word is nonsense. If, for
example, you have chosen the word flibertygibet, use that word mentally each
time you are tempted to curse under your breath. If your mind battles you by
saying, ?This is nonsense!? remember that that?s the whole idea. Cursing is
nonsense that causes one to feel tense, so it makes sense to use nonsense that
relieves tension.

 
       v     Replace
self talk that says, ?I?m an idiot! I should have figured  thatt out!? with ?I shoulda had a
V-8 ?!? or a                     simple, ?Oops!?  

 

v     Be
mindful that the word should is a guilt word. If you should all over yourself and others, you will
only succeed in making a mess. ?That didn?t work. What can I (you) do instead?? will reach a positive solution more rapidly.

Keeping in mind that this is simply a blog, and not a full fledged article, I'll add to this at my leisure. I have no idea if anyone reads these posts other than me, but knowing that someone might keeps me honest. This is a lot more fun than simple journaling, for it affords the opportunity to share positive thoughts with others. I'm all for that!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reading things in a field apart from tech stuff has been taking up my time for a couple of days, and I began wondering it I ought to just let go of the dream and do my thing in other areas, but I so enjoy reading discussions here that I would feel as if I moved out of a neighborhood. Drat! Stuck! I have this "thing" about walking what I talk and following through. My problem is that I have other areas that I am concentrating on as well as computers, etc. I'm resigned to accepting that I will never be a true geek. The only chance I would really stand in the industry would be in the personnel department or as a go-fer. I have a mind that understands the concepts and greatly appreciates those who are so adept at making all of this stuff work, but I don't have the dedication necessary to specialize. I'm more of a party hostess than an actual partier. People like me wind up in management, not necessarily out in the field, and my admiration is for those in the field.

Those of you who are true technicians will be talking over my head for the rest of my days. My gift is in finding out who people are and helping those who will compliment one another to meet. I see the gifts, admire the gifts, know that if I worked at it I could mimic the gifts, but my gift is assembling groups of like minded people and running block for them when opposition arises.. Sigh. I suppse that's a little better than being a groupie. It's more like a cheerleader/coach.

I've read the definitions of nerds and geeks and have decided that the definitions are all wet! I've seen more balance at this site than I have seen elsewhere. Living in a world where people tend to allow emotions to rule their lives and don't take the time to think before they act causes me to want to find a true geek to run for office so that I could sleep more soundly at night!

There is irony in all of this. For most of my life I met or surpassed the skills of any given group of people. I simply couldn't go along with the values displayed (value being negative as well as positive) so I didn't fit. Now I have found a large number of people who have values very similar to mine (RESPECT>>>true respect!) but I lack the skill. Go figure!!

What has been an absolute delight to me has been to find so many people who have a greater degree of intelligence than I do. (It's lonely at the top.) I'm way above average, yet appear to be at the low end of the scale at this site. I've found that when I accept my limitations, life seems to run more smoothly. "I don't know" is a perfectly fine answer that allows those who do know to put their knowledge into practice.

This is, quite possibly, the most serious blog post I will make here. Sometimes it's good to be serious for a bit to add credibility to the humor that takes me over so often. I am VERY serious about not taking myself too seriously!

OK, Folks...there you have it. Surrender to win. I'd rather surrender and stay than to run off somewhere and miss out on the good stuff that I CAN learn here.

With great respect and admiration,
Beth

Two entries in one day? Sure. Why not? Like many people I lead two lives. You don't? Mercy! Try harder!

In my other life I have a different blog, but since I would love to "pull myself together" I thought I would post the address to that blog here, since I have mentioned TR there. (Here, there and everywhere!)

http://oneamazingwriter.blogspot.com/

I made direct mention of Tech Republic in my post for March 20th and referred to the site again in today's post, but not by name. Since I intend to put the tag "humor" on this post it will be necessary to use that address to see what I am laughing about. If you got this far, the rest is only a few keystrokes away. 

I've figured something out that appears to be common sense, and since common sense was not something that I had much of in my youth, there's no one happier than I am at the moment.

What I figured out is that if you stay alive long enough, and remain alert, no experience of the past is wasted and lessons learned can be applied to areas of life that would, at first appearnance, have nothing to do with one another.

I've been a consumer or "end user" most of my life. I am one of the idiots that keeps IT's employed. Without my blunders technicians would be taking up knitting. I'm a "Keep it simple, Stupid" personality. I can grasp complicated things, but in my daily life I want as much simplicity as possible. So, on the far out chance that some may read this blog, I've decided to share some of my experience...just in case there are people in the world who can learn through reading rather than having to bump into walls of experience as I have had to do.

There's an old J. Mitchell song "Clouds" that contains the lyrics: I've looked at life from both sides now. That is where I sit as I read here at TR. I purchased my first computer in 1992 only because I had burned out the motor in an IBM typewriter and was tired of hearing the beep from a Panasonic Electronc Typewriter as I waited for it to allow me to keep typing. My fingers appear to have a direct link to my brain when I write, and I am nothing, if not a writer. I saw the computer as a fancy word processor that could keep up with me. I was fascinated by floppy disks and the fact that I didn't have to file reams of paper in order to hold onto old copy in case I wanted to make use of it at a later date.

And that was all I knew. At that point in time, that is all I HAD to know. I am not less intelligent than those who designed software, etc. I simply channeled that intelligence into other areas. Time passed. I was introduced to the Internet by a fellow who worked for a food chain keeping their computer system up and running. He had to tug at me and push me from behind to get me to try it. I went forward in a state of nervous anxiety. All I knew was that the machine I was using was important to me and I didn't want to do anything to mess it up. If I had known then the risk I was taking, I would not be typing this post now. I signed up for Internet for Dummies (AOL) and entered in. I saw the computer then as a modern ham radio set that had the advantage of displaying the written word. I didn't need to know how it worked. I simply needed to know how to operate some of the programs available to me to connect to those who shared interests that I had or who had information that I needed.

That is the point that many people who use computers are at, both in their work place and at home. To them the computer is just a machine to use for communication, and nothing more. The average user doesn't take the time to consider how it works or what dangers are involved in using the Internet, any more than a teenager takes any deep concern about highway safety when s/he gets his/her driver's license. That same teen doesn't always care about what keeps the car running and holds the attitude of : that's what mechanics are for. When a vehicle ceases to work correctly the driver usually asks, "What's wrong with it?" not "What did I do to cause it to fail?"

Mechanics and those who work as Internet Technicians are assured of job security for many years to come. Some of us acquire respect for the machinery we use and learn to apply common sense, but the majority just want the damn thing to keep running, regardless. Some will learn only as much as necessary to navigate and never care about anything more than that. Who hasn't ever run out of gas or forgotten to check the air in tires? "I've got to remember to get this thing in for an oil change" is said simply because the owner knows that's something that is part of regular maintenance. Most don't have any idea why the car needs oil to begin with, and many figure they will do something when that little light goes on in the instrument panel.

Technicians in any field keep us all afloat. There isn't time enough in this life to learn all there is to know or to enter into every field of knowledge. I'm willing to bet that there are techicians who can fix any problem that comes up to insure that Internet communication continues, yet some of those same technicians cannot make dinner table conversation about anything other than computers. We all have gifts that we want to utilize and we all wish others would "get a clue" and use those same gifts. That's not going to be happening.

So what is dinosaur power? It's the ability to have lived long enough to look around and see some simple threads in life, and how they are joined together to make an incredible fabric. It's the ability to say, "I don't know, but I will gladly listen to learn," even as I accept that I will not learn all that I am told in one lifetime. Most of all it's a growing compassion and the ability to see various points of view and to see where many are right, even if their persepctives are entirely different. Dinosaurs can be ridiculed easily enough because we don't tend to move all that rapidly and we appear to be cumbersome in the way we are pieced together, but we are a force to contend with if only for our size and strength. Some of us have the ability to look over the tree tops and don't have to worry about not seeing the forest for the trees.

A man once taught me a lesson in communication that changed my life rather dramatically. He held a coin between us and told me to describe what I saw, then he described what he saw and asked if I wanted to fight about it. He went on to explain that if both parties look at the other's perspective both are better able to get a clearer picture of what they are looking at.

It is possible for two people to be in complete disagreement and for both parties to be right in what they do know. It is when one party refuses to believe that there is more to the picture than his/her individual perspective that communication breaks down.

The most intelligent thing I have probably ever said is: "I don't know". The second most intelligent thing would be: "I don't get it."  If I don't know something, I can be instructed. If I can't "get" something I can back off and wait to see if I can do so at a later date.

I've found that backing off, rather than running away, allows my mind to rest, and when rested there are times that things that haven't made any sense at all seem to become very clear and I have the feeling of "Eureka! I got it!" the person I have to be the most patient with in this life, is me. When I am patient with myself I am better able to practice that patience with others. Slow doesn't mean stupid. It means that for some reason we all grasp things at different rates.

I experience beliefs differently than I do knowledge. Once something is within my knowledge, I cannot be deterred. My beliefs, I find, are subject to change. Along those lines, I don't profess to know a great deal, but I enjoy the knowledge that I do have, and am responsible to act upon that.

I found that doubting was a healthy practice for me to establish. "I believe this is true, but I don't know yet," has caused me turmoil at times, but jumping forward without doubt has caused more grief than taking time to ponder something. A few years back I decided that at any cost I wanted to take time to think. I've been doing that for a while now and like my experience of life a lot better as a result.

A comic example: Over two years ago a man asked me out to dinner. I told him that I didn't even know his name. Since most people in my area knew him well, he was surprised. I wasn't surprised. I was new to the area. I told him that I would think about going to dinner with him and I would get back to him. By the time I decided that I would try a date with him, he was no longer asking. Those who chose to criticize me for that were numerous. That man has become a friend, and last week we shared a kiss. I'm still thinking about that and still smiling. My mind is rested. I know I like that man.

Slow is not necessarily stupid. It's just slow.

I give up! When I stop laughing, I'll tell you why. Ah, the heck with it. I'll tell you while I am still laughing.

I never noticed the Profile tab on the new Workspace, so off I went to visit the genii who had resolved other issues for me and I put a post up, proving that I am the ditz I claim to be. The genii didn't appear (Thank God!) so I went back to edit the post and found that I now have a guardian angel, who let me know that I was at the wrong discussion anyway!

That's it! We need to have an End User Day when all of you can pelt me with virtual water balloons, since I don't seem to have what it takes to be a technician. It's in here somewhere, but my hormones keep getting in the way! I stay serious and do just fine for a period of time and then there's a TILT and my resident ditz pops up again. A man questioned my sexuality at one discussion and I took it as a compliment! It meant to me that for a time I was able to follow a logical course.

Ah, if there was ever a female Don Quixote, I'm her. Picture me if you please riding a St. Bernard with a long-handled wooden spoon in my hand going after satellite dishes as I assume they are vessels from another planet. I dare not enter into any Save the Earth discussions. I know my limits.

I'm about as useful here as a talking dog...but I'm cute, and you have to admit that a talking dog is nothing if not a good conversation piece! (Not meaning that he/she would have enough brains to make good conversation.)

I LOVE logic. I can even be logical at times. It's the "at times" that has me being a nerd instead of a geek. At the other times, I am so busy blundering and then laughing, that all logic seems inconsequential. Surely there's still room for me here somewhere, though. Some of you seem to be a bit on edge from all the awareness that you have. I have awareness, which is why my hormones tend to kick in at times. I think it's better than denial.

And consider this: If we ever have an invasion from another galaxy and their ship looks like a satellite dish, I might even become a first responder! As a pedestrian walks by and sees me fried on someone's lawn, the alert might go out!

I'm going to instruct the first course in ineptitude. People ought to pay me well for this! Consider how often they would be able to laugh at themselves! And think of how much they would have to share as each one reported his/her blunders!

I do understand that for some it would be a tough course, for not all people are as gifted as I am, in fact some don't seem to have the gift at all!

"Ineptitude?" you ask, "What the heck is that supposed to mean?"
"Well," I reply, "it's the art of being inept with attitude! I have my PhD in it." (Post Haste Disaster)

Eventually, as people get used to me, I will be able to edit a post any number of times and type:

"Edited because I'm Beth and you won't be able to comprehend anything I type if I don't edit this thing."

Later I won't even have to explain. Hopefully I will just grow on you to the point that someone will read a post from me and not see edit at the bottom and wonder if someone else is using my TR ID to get into this place!

"When you come to the end of all the light you know,and it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things will happen: Either you will be given something solid to stand on, or you will be taught to fly."
---- Edward Teller

That came in my email today. I have no idea who the man is, but I know that has been my experience, and it was pleasant to see it worded by someone else.

Over 25years ago when I felt that the Natives were right behind me shooting flaming arrows and I was at the edge of a cliff, I made a leap of faith. It was the most illogical and inspiring thing I ever did, and it restored my life as nothing ever had.

I don't believe. I know.

A man said to me once, "If three frogs were sitting on a log, and one decided to jump off, how many would be left on the log."

I replied, "Two."

"No," he said. "One only decided. He didn't act."

I jumped..

I just checked a post I made and saw #98 of the top 100 after my name! You had all better gather around me or get me employed as a janitor in the field because this site's reputation could disappear if I'm one of the ones to call upon for help! I could do PR for TR at this point but that's about it!

I spend a large part of my day here reading and I know I haven't entered that many discussions. You people did me in today! I had a wonderful time at my "induction party" but I thought my name would be a light(bulb) and never considered my name in lights! I'm just here to make the rest of you look good.

Oh! I forgot! I'm with geeks! You people would consider reading an activity, unlike the rest of the world around us!
You mean you actually count all of those clicks as I read? If I work my way up the list do you send me a new mouse in case I wear this one out?

I feel like a little girl who got caught trying on her mother's lipstick!
I KNOW! It was all of the times I had to edit for typo's!!
You see? My blunders will make me famous!

Your poor but notorious,
Beth

Because I use FireFox as my browser TechRepublic has it's own button on my Bookmarks Toolbar. One click to open FireFox, and one click on the toolbar and I'm at the front page. Unless something quickly catches my eye, my next click is to My Workspace, and my morning begins. I scroll the page, checking mostly for Updates, to see what Suggestions are listed for me to follow, and to see which of my Contacts is presently online.

Surfing though the updates is usually first on my agenda. As I catch up on each discussion I pull up the profile of any member who has posted something that interests me. I read profiles, check for Recent blog entries and Discussions, and then scan the History listed for that member, which often leads me to a discussion I haven't read in the past.

Since members often place links in their posts, I click on each one, knowing that it will open in a new tab on my browser, without taking me away from the discussion. I read those links immediately if they are pertinent to my comprehending what the poster is referring to. If not, I read them at my leisure once I have finished reading the discussion.

I return to My Workspace often, using it as many would use a home page when surfing the Net.

Once I have completed the list of updates I then choose one of two courses, I either run down the list of suggestions, or click on the Profile tab and then click on "Posts from my contacts" beneath the Contacts section of that page. I then scan the discussions there and read those that interest me. When I use suggestions I either save them to Links or delete them as soon as they are read.

If I have reason to start a discussion I do that by clicking on Discussions at the top of the page >Start Thread > Topic for this thread and then type in a Title and Message.  I type in an approprite Tag(s), check the Notify me box and then Submit My Comments. When I return to My Workspace the discussion will be listed in History. (In my case, as many have learned, I wind up clicking on that discussion and editing it...again!)

Once caught up on suggestions and discussions, I check the front page of TechRepublic and follow links from there.

If I have time I use the People and Blogs buttons that appear at the top of each page. While Contacts and Posts from my contacts appear on the People page, I prefer to use the link on the Profile page because it's less distracting. I already know my own profile, etc., and am better able to focus on why I am at that particular page.

As I am writing this blog entry, there are five tabs in use on my browser.

1. An article: Consultant caught between customer and placement agency (and a discussion beneath it which I intend to read as soon as I finish this entry).
2. Workspace
3.Tech Republic New Blog Entry
4.Tech Republic front page
5.Tech Republic Blogs

And now, in case you are asking why some words are in bold more than once, and others aren't: I have put those in bold that are mentioned for the first time for whatever page I am referring to. The results for History on My Workspace are far different than History on your profile.

I have only one project listed in Projects, and it's there to remind me why I joined this site. I have 14 Project links and an abundance of Project suggestions which I intend to go through this weekend. My project? Become a Home-schooled Geek.














 

Well, now I've "gone and done it". I offered a suggestion to a woman about a problem she was having with Windows XP. No computers were harmed in the making of my post, but I felt like the cook wiping her hands on her apron as she answered the door on the maid's day off.

I also entered one of the Great (Save the Earth) Debates to give a tongue-in-cheek answer to a tongue-in-cheek question. I gave you people a number of days to do so, and decided that the heat in the discussion was probably going to generate another degree in the temperature of the earth, so I did something to cool it down a bit.

Having done my part to supply tech support and help the environment, I thought I'd add to my blog. The last I knew I was #88 of the top 100 active members. PEOPLE! You need to get more active here! This is YOUR site! If a nitwit like me can stumble in off the street looking for guidance and wind up going up the chart, you need to look at yourselves and ask, "Am I supporting the site that I use?"

Now I KNOW you all like to read, and, yes, reading is an activity. I know you are stuck at your keyboard often...but there are 26 letters on some of those keys. If you hit them, they form words, and you can communicate your knowledge to other members by doing so.

You don't really want an end user climbing any further up your chart, do you? All of you know more than I do, and trust me, there are other OTHERS at this site just like me, waiting to hear from you.

If you think the planet is in rough shape now, consider what it would be like if we replaced you. Don't let us take over!

In an email today a man spoke to me about popularity. I've been thinking about that off and on throughout the day. A wise man told me years ago that if I was true to myself there would be people who don't like me. I am true to myself. He was right.

While it's nice to be thought well of by some people, I look around me to see what's popular and find that it doesn't often appeal to me. Popularity relies on pleasing a lot of people, and people in general are fickle creatures who go with a mood. I'd never make it as a politician. Pretending to be someone that I am not in order to please the majority is just too much work!

On my own I have found that many people like me for what I will do for them, but don't like me for who I am. That's OK, as long as I feel like doing something for them. It relieves me of any obligation to sustain a long term relationship, and I benefit from being able to use my gifts. I'm in no rush to share who I am with the majority. Who I am changes as I learn new things. Who has time to keep a lot of people up to date? Not me.

I have enough varied interests to be able to share bits and pieces with a lot of people. I enjoy doing that as time allows. I find that I prefer, though, to spend most of my time pursuing those interests. Writing is, of necessity, a solitary endeavor, and it's high on the list of my interests. When away from my computer, I am usually smiling and people find me approachable, so I have interesting conversations often. I like to listen. I like to tell stories about my own life. Stories allow people to relax, both the story teller, and the listeners. I can be very direct, if there is a need, but I don't often see a need. I'm a poet, not a drill sergeant.

True to self. It took me a long time, and it cost me everything I owned. It would be a good deal at twice the price.

The last thing I expected upon joining TR was to wind up discussing personal spirituall beliefs. A day at a time I remain amazed at life. I thought I would be learning facts, simple mathematical/logical things, in order to enhance my use of a computer and the Internet. I thought I might learn a new language (and indeed I am!) so that I could communicate better with those who use computers.

Today I did talk to a CEO of a Christian organization and explained the concept of Open Source to him, reccomending Open Office for a computer that his organization has that does not have a word processor installed. I spoke to a manager who works for the same organization and promised to help her out by sharing some of the things I have learned when she has time available.

I also took part in a discussion pertaining to religious beliefs here at TR.

I chuckle about it all. I discuss spiritual concepts with technicians and technology with those in spiritual organizations. I came here because I am a writer and wanted to learn to write articles pertaining to technology, and instead wind up keeping a blog here and talking more to people around me.

Sitting here scratching my head. (Perhaps that's why I make so many typographical errors!) Apparently I don't have to know what I am doing in advance, but simply have to do the next right thing that is before me to do.

I have decided that if I were to give universal endorsement to anything in this life, it would be to the humor of opposites! I may never know what I am doing, but I am learning to do it very well!

Today a friend of mine came up to me with a big smile and showed me a printed email from a friend of hers who lives in Finland. She pointed to a line in which he stated that he liked the blog about ineptitude. He must have joined! For the last year I have tried to translate for this man. My friend doesn't speak Geek, and tends to misunderstand him at times. She and I have grown closer as a result of their relationship. Last week I started laughing and finally explained to her that she had fallen in love with me in a man! She's still stumbling over the word love, but I, as usual, said what I saw. Watching her blush is fun.

I've been grinning all day at the thought of him joining here. I think of him as Super-Geek. If he gets active here, I'll feel as if I have paid my way. I haven't a clue what his screen name is...but by now anyone who reads this blog knows that I don't have a clue most of the time. That doesn't keep me from finding the hidden gold. I tend to stumble over wonderful things as I blunder my way through life. (Children don't try this at home!)

I write regularly to a couple in Australia, and am hopeful that the male in that couple will show up here soon. He just installed Linux in their computer. He asked me a couple of questions and I told him that I don't know, but I know the people who do know. (It's not what you know in life...right?)

The sign on the door says Real IT. I'm real. I figured I had half of what it would take to join here. My friends are real and IT. Sometimes I feel like Chester chasing Mr. Dillon. I'll get there! I'm limping along here at my own pace. I keep clicking on links that tell me I have to be a member of the Pro Guild. Who me? Do they have a Con Guild? I might be better off to start there. I'm forever out of sync with the times. I remember watching my father teach my brother algebra when I was in grade school and the stuff made sense to me, but my mother stopped him from letting me learn as much as I wanted (She meant well...she just wasn't a geek!). I talked my brother into getting me books from the adult library, though, four years before I was allowed to do so. Maybe one of my friends will join the Pro Guild and sneak answers to me! I just wanna read!

Real IT. It has a ring to it; don't you think?

Over twenty years
ago I wrote The Adventures of Francis T. Bear for my children. Each day I would
sit at my IBM typewriter and Francis would record more of his antics so that I
would have something to share with my children before they went to sleep at night. 

 Now an eight-year-old in Boston,
Massachusetts and a seven-year-old in Sydney Australia who met on the Internet
through their mothers, are having an adventure with a tooth fairy. On Friday
night, once a week I go online and read their latest adventures to a child in
Adelaide, Australia, from a microphone connected to my computer in Trenton, New
Jersey. The stories are for her Saturday morning listening pleasure. 

Times change.
Characters change. But the love in the writing and telling doesn?t change. It
still protects the innocent, and it will travel half way around the world in a
flash to do so. 

I?ve promised the
child who hears the story to publish a series of books as the girls and the
fairy have their adventures together. I told the child who inspired these
stories that I would dedicate each book to her and she would see her name
within each. She has no idea how involved finding a publisher and competing
against thousands of other writers will be. She doesn?t need to know. She?s a
child. 

The story will write itself, as it has been doing, but
the publisher won?t come looking for it. Research, query letters, submissions,
rejections, the blood sweat and tears of the real world, will have to be faced
and surmounted. 

A promise to a child
is a promise to keep.

 

Jaqui began a discussion "What are TR members?" I've been following it, and replying to it in my head for the last two days. My response doesn't fit the tone of the discussion that is still going on, so I am writing here in my blog. I read many discussions that I do not take part in, partly because I do not want to pull them off topic, and I want to learn by "listening".

My reply to what TR members are has nothing to do with whether they are IT or not. It has everything to do with how the ones I have met/read thus far have impacted me.

TR members are diverse and unified. If we could bottle what we have here, and send samples to the rest of the world we would know a world that copes well and tolerates easily. TR members are solution oriented people.

How does it work?
How can I make it work more efficiently?
How can I keep it secure so that it can resist attack from outside?
How can I communicate to others how to maintain it, so that it keeps functioning well?

A lot of life depends upon asking good questions and persevering until the answers come.
I've asked those questions in many areas of life. At present I am asking them here at TR about IT. I don't expect to delve as deeply as some here, for they are the specialists, but I do expect to answer that last question well and then apply it outside of TR.

TR members embrace a challenge.

IT pros are the scientists, doctors, technicians and EMT's.

I am the home health aid.

We are a team.

Thank you, Jaqui.

Hot Button (Steve) gave a quiz on his blog. Well, of course I took the quiz! I hope he grades on a curve. I got 20%, but as I posted to him I EARNED the 20%. I realized afterward that my essay portion to the quiz was the discussion about the OAW browser. I lost 10 points there for a spelling error, but I got extra credit for defining it.

I did some serious thinking today about what it takes to be a good humorist. How's that for an oxymoron?
(Beth's Typoese Dictionary: oxymoron: a plump slow-thinking end user)  Humor often comes from dysfuntion. Putting the fun back into dysFUNction has been a special drive of mine for many years. Some of us are born into the stuff, some go astray to find the stuff, and some have a natural affinity for it. Regardless, we all have to deal with it.

Those who live in denial don't laugh nearly as often as those of us who become aware that all of our wires aren't running in a straight line. In most cases they aren't broken; they are simply crossed, but the doggone things can create a short circuit and stop us dead in our tracks at times. Laughter helps us to jar some of them loose from the tangle so that we can work with them and get them back in order.

IT pros work in a fourth dimension bringing ideas into a virtual reality as well as a physical reality. Those who come up with new concepts walk the edge, reaching right over it to grab something to bring back for the rest of us. Those in the middle have to stretch their minds to grasp the concepts and then pass them along to the average person in a form he or she can apply.

 "This is a mouse. It's made to fit in the palm of your hand. When you move the mouse the little arrow called a curser will move across the screen called a monitor. Move the cursor to the bottom left hand corner of the screen where there is a button called START. (I know it doesn't look like a button...just click the mouse button and see what the START button does!) There! See! When you click the real button on the mouse the curser clicks the virtual button on the screen. (OK the PRETEND button on the screen...whatever!) Now click on the pretend button for TURN OFF THE COMPUTER. (No! Get your finger off the screen. put your hand back on the mouse. Click the left mouse button with the "little arrow" over the "pretend" TURN OFF THE COMPUTER button.) Now USE THE MOUSE to click on the pretend button that says TURN OFF.

Any questions?
It's called start because you are starting an action.
No, that button does not turn the computer on. That's the button that turns the monitor off and on. The monitor...the screen. No, THAT is not the computer.
I'll answer your next question tomorrow. You aren't ready yet to know how to turn the computer on.
(I'm an end user who has instructed tail end users, known to themselves as Beginners.)

For those of you who think being IT is hard, try learning how to be an IT humorist. First I have to learn how IT really works so that I can then twist it just a bit to cause you all a chuckle.

I gave myself a 90% for OAW browser. Now I have to go learn something else that I don't know so that I can mess it up!

You can eat an elephant if you do it one byte at a time.

Something has caught my eye, and it's bothering me. As a writer I DO believe in copywrite protection, and I can understand that sites like Napster messed up the profits of recording artists and the studios that produced their work, but I do not like the solution DRM that has come out. Where is the entitlement of ownership if someone purchases a product and then is limited as to how that product can be used?

"ZDNet Executive Editor David Berlind suggests that CRAP or Content, Restriction, Annulment, and Protection,
is a catchier phrase than DRM - Digital Rights Management. Why does he
think this technology is crap? Once you've bought music or other
content to play on one device, it won't play on any other device
because of the proprietary layer of CRAP."

see:http://news.zdnet.com/2036-2_22-6035707.html

I couldn't have said it any better than David Berlind, but I can repeat what he has said to anyone who will listen (or read). I don't need to read any further than that to become irate. So if I purchase a CD and play it in the computer that I am using, I cannot then play the same CD in any portable device when I am away from my desk. Right? Is the music industry planning on cutting the cost of buying or downloading a CD, so that a customer can have more than one copy at the same price he/she is now paying for a single copy? Lending libraries might as well cancel any CD collections that they have. They'll be useless now. At the rate this is going, will I wind up fined if I sing a song on the street that I heard performed by a recording artist?

Too far is too far. I think it's time to put the U into DRM and beat on it loudly. So here I sit making some noise...little more, but I figure if I make enough of that noise around the right people, they may know what to do about it.

You are the people who understand the technology behind this. Is there no way to write code that allows only one copy to be made (as back up) of something, yet allows the CD to be played without restriction? I cannot believe that the problem is so great that recording companies will go out of business or that artists will starve.

More:

Free Software Foundation: DRM fundamentally incompatible with FSF princples

see: http://blogs.zdnet.com/BTL/?p=2436

Are anti-DRM declarations falling on deaf ears?

http://blogs.zdnet.com/BTL/?p=2428

The Extreme Geek's Beginner's Guide to Dating  Part I

1. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, but if there is a mountain between the two points, and one is walking, there are times that going the long way around may prove to be, not only less exhausting than trying to go in a straight line, but also, in the long run, the shortest distance. True, one could tunnel through the mountain, but by the time that operation is completed the reason one was traveling from one point to another may no longer be valid.

2. 2x1=2  1+1=2  I can work on a project on Saturday and Sunday or I can work with another on Saturday and we can both take a break on Sunday. If I feel restless when I have a whole day to myself, I can work on a project by myself on Sunday. I could also make plans with the same person that I worked with Saturday and find something to do that isn't work. When loneliness is factored out, good humor often rushes in to fill the void.

3. A dog is not as intelligent as I am. I cannot teach calculus to a dog. The dog does not care what I know or don't know. The dog will, though, do what I train it to do within it's capabilities, regardless of my manner of teaching it. The dog wants to learn. I can experiment with the dog. I can watch it's expressions and see what posture it takes as I try different tones of voice in giving a command. The dog can be used as a firewall to keep intrusive humans outside the home and away from my computer. If I laugh, cry or occassionally pet the dog, it won't tell anyone. My sense of emotional privacy will remain intact.

4. A woman is more intelligent than a dog, but not as predictable. (Refer to #1) A woman will place an expectation that we spend time together away from my work. (Refer to #2) A woman will care more about the tone of my voice when I speak to her than what I have to say. (Refer to #3) At this point it is important to reconsider the dog. The same dog that acts as firewall may now act as a buffer between a woman and me. If the dog likes the woman, there is a chance that I might, too. If the woman likes the dog, there's a chance that she may like me. If I like the woman, the woman likes the dog, the dog likes the woman, but the woman doesn't like me, the dog will still like me anyway, and the two of us can go off alone together and keep one another company.

Yesterday I received email from two different long term online friends. I had written to both about how I have been spending my time online and off. One reply was stunning in it's nastiness. The other was warm and full of joy. I was happy for both people that they trusted me with their feelings. The first has held an undercurrent of frustration for a long while, and apparently decided to vent that frustration at me. A look in the mirror might have helped him better, but that's only my opinion, and my opinion isn't anything that person seems to respect any longer, so I kept it to myself. I understood weeks ago that the relationship was dying.

I respect my time. Time is all any of us really has in this life. How we spend that time decides how we feel about ourselves and life around us. Time will pass whether we spend it well or not. The first person criticized how I choose to spend my time, saying that I do not take my writing seriously. He means $eriou$ly. It is obvious to me that if I write without financial payment the man doesn't think that what I write has value, and thus I lack value.

The second rejoiced that I exuded so much joy and encouraged me to keep doing as I have been doing.

Today I will be taking a break for a few hours. I need to go for a walk to a peaceful place and sit for a while to allow sorrow it's place in my life. The death of a relationship is a sad thing, and sorrow is the flip side of joy. I need to stroll down Memory Lane and honor those memories. The events helped me to become who I am today, and I like who I am today. The line between sorrow and joy is minute. I cross it many times a day. I've found that the deeper my sorrow...that greater my joy. It's in trying to avoid sorrow that anger gets it's hand in. I was angry for a few moments weeks ago. Then acceptance settled in. Now the sorrow is here. I saw it coming. But, as with any death, a time is needed to grieve after the fact.

I tend to grieve deeply and quickly, for like a child before Christmas, I don't want to miss any of the good stuff that's heading my way. My time is valuable to me.

'You know how sometimes, no matter where you go, people are all talking about the same thing? This has been one of "those" days. One conversation after another jarred memories of the past. I begin to feel as if I am going through instant replay at high speed! My life has been a little too long for it to flash before me. My memories are a bit too rich and too deep to not allow them their time in the sun.

I can't remember a time when I was happier than today. I can remember times that I liked very much. I can remember the world being a lot different than it is now. I can feel nostalgia for the past times and things that I would have liked to have stayed the same for a little longer.

But today I am happy...so today is the best day of my life so far. I have mind enough to review the memories. Enough time has passed that any sad memories are now replaced by joy. I can look to the future with cheerful curiosity, remembering that no one is promised a future.

Memory Lane was the path I took to here, so even with all of the pot holes and things to trip over, it was one good path! 

I found another site yesterday that has information for a beginner like me. I will be using it to help me better understand the technical discussions here. As I perused the site noting the ages of the members listed, I realized that I was looking at a generation twice removed from my own. It affirmed my belief that I am wise to try to learn, for if I don't in a few years I won't be able to understand anyone! Since I have no plan to leave this planet soon, learning the language is really important.

I can also see that the next time someone leaves a computer for trash, it's coming home with me. Doctors may learn concepts in classrooms, but it's not until they have hands on experience that anything will really click. One day I would like to build my own computer. That won't happen until I can dissect one that's already built. I hope I do a better job than I did with my Cinderella watch when I was seven. I got it apart, but wound up with spare parts when I tried to put it back together!

"What makes it tick?" has been a life long question for me. "Why does it do that? How does it do that? Can I make it do something even better? If it's broken, can I make it work again"

Mechanics, doctors, technicians, psychologists, cooks, inventors, writers, scientists, clergy...the list goes on and on. Among them are the curious people who have a gift of creativity. We learn. We lead. There is no other path for us to take. We make our own.

I entered into an online discussion today in which a man had ridiculed Christians saying that their belief that worshipping throughout eternity was shallow. It struck me funny. I saw no depth in a grave and said so. The man said I had attacked him. Apparently those who like to ridicule do not like having pointed out that they have said something humorous. He replied "How Christian of you."

Those who want to hate, are going to hate. If I have learned anything I have learned that. I feel no need to defend my Christianity to that man. It's my Christianity that defends me against such people! "Fight this battle for me please, Lord."

Those who resort to sarcasm as humor laugh as they stick in knives. I never saw stabbing as something to laugh at. A quick retort simply shows a mind that doesn't leave room for the humanity of another. As a Christian I pray to be slow to anger and quick to forgive. That works just fine for me. My laughter is that of joy. It is a simple thing based upon the ability to see how human and humor truly go together. Taking myself too seriously makes no sense to me at all.

I have been told by many sarcastic people that I am not logical. I see no logic in sarcasm. It makes no sense to me to build oneself up by putting another person down. I laughed at the illogic of the man's statement. I felt sad for the man when he decided that I wasn't acting Christian enough for him. He didn't say that his name was Christ, so I didn't worry about it. I am puzzled at times by those who aren't Christian trying to tell those of us who are that we aren't doing it right. And then I laugh again. I think it's funny! Things that make no sense often strike me funny. Slap stick humor and I get along well.

If cutting edge technology means dehumanizing oneself, I think I will settle for old fashioned living. I can do more good with a feather than with a knife. I prefer to tickle people. Becoming a meek geek is a challenge. I've always enjoyed a challenge.

I feel sad this morning, but peaceful. It's not an "unpretty"
feeling at all. I alternate between a cat licking her fur, and a dog licking
it's wounds. On one hand I feel good about myself. On the other I am sitting
quietly recognizing that wounds have occurred and that they will heal. Sorrow
is much prettier than anger. I'm accepting that I have become a person that I
have wanted to be, against all odds. The glory in that goes directly to God.

If I were to die today there would be some who would say, "She
died young." There would be other's who would say, "She lived a full life." At
fifty-nine, I realize that I may have many years ahead of me, but I also realize
that there are a lot more years behind me, than what may lie ahead. As I see it,
all of my days are extra now. I've married, been widowed, raised children and
nursed my parents unto death. Home and family has always meant more to me than
anything else. I've had my heart full in that area, and I've had my heart
broken. Both things taught me a lot about love.

Fifty-nine is an odd age. It's not quite old, but certainly
not young. "Old enough!" is the way I think about it. The world has changed a
lot since I was a girl, so I'm not having the experiences I would have liked to
have had at this age, but there are just enough people who cherish and respect,
for me to be glad to be alive.

I am a homemaker without a home, a wife without a husband, a
mother without children and a daughter without parents...yet here I am, still
Beth. I have no particular plan for my life, for plans, obviously, haven't
proven to work well for me, but I do have a loving sense of direction.

There are grown men and women now who call me "Mom" and from
the way they respond to me, they truly mean it. They cherish. They respect. I
fill with awe when I think of them, just as I used to do the same when I looked
upon those I gave birth to. The feelings are identical.

Throughout my life I have been severely criticized for being
true to myself. There were those who criticized me for marrying young, but when
my husband died when he was only twenty-seven, they stopped. There were those
who criticized me for striving to remain home when I was raising my children,
and those who criticized me for keeping my parents out of a nursing home, and
not worrying about what would happen when they passed. My father died in 1992.
My mother died in 1999. I'm still alive. I've found it odd that I have been more
strongly criticized for the things I have done right in life, than for anything I
did wrong. There were always plenty of people willing to encourage me to do
something wrong, and a lot fewer to encourage me to do as I felt needed to be
done. I think the only reason I have found that odd is that I really have been
true to myself. I wouldn't have wanted to face myself in the mirror if I hadn't
done what was on my heart to do.

Life hasn't been the way I would like it to be, but I've
become the woman I want to be. There are many contrasts in life. Things that I
don't like seem to make things that I do like stick out more. There was a time,
years ago, when I didn't want to live and was too much of a coward to die.
Today, not only do I enjoy my experience of life, I like myself, even when
others don't.

Amazing grace. An Awesome God. I continue to write about Him,
and about what He does with me, which makes me Oneamazingwriter.

I'm a Pisces. The symbol for Pisces consists of two fish connected by a cord to one another, swimming in opposite directions, ever destined to make a circle. I am a triple Pisces, which means that three planets were in Pisces at the time of my birth. That makes me a strong Pisces.
My picture of a strong Piscean is a person with one foot in a hole, trying to walk, going around in circles as a result, and saying, "Ah. I've been here before. I must be on the right path for me."
Surely a Piscean line is: "Play it again, Sam, " or "I'll be back."  

There are twelve Zodiac symbols/signs. The twelve signs are split up into four categories of three plants each according to elements. Those elements are Fire, Earth, Water and Air. Pisces is a water sign. On a rough day, this is what may occur:

Water sign and Earth sign = Mud
Water sign and Fire sign = Steam
Water sign and Air sign = Humidity
Water sign and Water sign = Flood

I don't think it's any accident that Pisceans make good hermits, monks, and mystics. What other choice do we have?  (See above.)  As my wonderful fire sign husband used to say, "You could piss off the Good Humor Man."

Apparently, it's a gift.

Spring is here and I really ought to change these curtains. When I first moved into this spot they looked just right, but after spending so much time in one place, I need a change. So it's off with the old and on with the new.

How was I to know in my first blog post that Curtains for Windows meant that Open Source might take over? I didn't even know what Open Source was!! Thank God Bill Gates isn't an active member of TR! I never would have made it past my first post here!

Wait! How do I know Bill isn't a member? Oh Dear! (Bill, just in case you ARE here, I still use Windows, but I do admit that I'm using Firefox as my transportation now.)

The question for me is not which is the best OS, but rather, what color should I choose for the new curtains! (I'm still an end user wannabe. We are entitled to be a bit "off". I've read that here. I know it's true. I believe EVERYTHING I read here.)

Still it's SPRING, and don't some of us think it's time to open windows? A little fresh air would do us all some good. I've heard that Bill is even thinking along those lines...well, not totally, but perhaps he'll install a virtual air conditioner.

Hmmm. Maybe this Spring I'll leave the curtains off completely and put up colored mini-blinds...a light blue to match My Workspace.

I met a couple at the library yesterday (isn't that where you go to socialize?) who were the proud parents of a brand new computer system. They signed up for the free classes that are offered each month for newbies, but once we talked they asked if I would visit with them in their home, and I agreed. I'm due to return today.

Because both were new to computers and had no working knowledge of the Internet, I felt like a tour guide to a new world. In explaining the simplest things like the difference between hardware and software, I stressed the importance of not being afraid that they would break anything, for when one is entirely new to a computer the feeling of being overwhelmed is normal. Once they grasped the concepts and understood that the computer is a user friendly machine that only needs common sense respect, I began explaining about accessing the Internet with, "Now! Be afraid!"

I like to use the analogy of the difference between driving a car up and down a driveway in order to learn how to handle it, and entering a four lane highway during rush hour traffic. To demonstrate accessing a site, using links, etc., I brought them home to TR. While this site is more complex than showing them some simpler Internet sites, I know there are no snipers sitting in the trees to shoot at them as they explore. As I spoke about street smarts and security, the man pulled his chair closer to the desk and the woman went out into the kitchen to get us all something to eat.

We broke often for laughter and sharing. "NEVER put liquids near the computer or keyboard," I said as I sipped my Pepsi and set it down next to the plate of spaghetti on the desk in front of me. I felt as if I were corrupting little kids! I DID explain that I buy keyboards the way other women buy new shoes. I would gladly have left the desk to respect their new PC, but I think they would have tackled me at the door if I had tried to leave the room at that point! We decided to run the risk.

Are they ready to surf yet? No. But they are learning to dog paddle, and won't drown. By the end of today they will sink or swim.

Instructing two very different people at the same time feels like having one foot in the boat and one foot back on the dock. There were moments that I wondered if I was the one who was going to land in the brink! Laughter got us through. I fell in love with their marriage. He is interested in all of the technical aspects; she can't wait to get out there and meet a lot of people. They are one great combination.

It was fun to pass along that there are many choices in operating systems and browsers to a man who grasps concepts even faster than I do. I have no doubt that, given a short amount of time, he will be teaching me. She is no slouch at all, and is one great cook! She knows enough to let him sort out security measures and then listen as he teaches her.

Technology and romance are not incompatible!

I'll be wandering away from my computer this week to begin searching archives in libraries and court houses. For me that's more exciting than bunjee jumping! I'll be adding yet another hat to my already varied collection, this time in genealogy research. It's my version of Ghost Busters.

Off into the future at TR and back into the past in archives. The work on the past will pay for the food in the present and hopefully with enough left over to buy equiptment for the future. I'll have a new excuse for my blunders. Time Warp Jet Lag!

I've never done genealogy research before. I've already warned the man employing me that while I am serious about business, I laugh no matter what I get involved in. I have a family-type relationship with all of the employees at the main library here, so now I imagine I will be extending that family to the state library and the court house. My boss is in New York and I am in New Jersey, so I won't have to worry about being chased around my desk. Cool Beans! I can DO this! A new pen-pal that sends money. It can't be beat.

While I enjoy fiction, I prefer writing non-fiction. My last writing job was as a ghost writer. One of the people I did ghost writing for was a minister and I told him that I had been home-schooled at Holy Ghost Univeristy. (I want to get a sweatshirt with hUg on it.) I considered having cards made up as The Holy Ghost Writer.  Now I will get to be a ghost writer who writes about ghosts!

I love consistency. I also have a deep practical streak and love things that serve two purposes. I've already become involved in this project through helping a research librarian friend of mine (which is how I landed the job). I told her I could see a book in it, and now I'll be paid to research it! If someone else wants to claim authorship it's fine with me. I just want enough money to keep writing.

'Remember the Alamo?

Alamo
"A church built after 1744 as part of a Spanish mission in San Antonio, Texas, and converted to a fort in 1793. During the Texas Revolution against Mexican rule it was besieged (February 24 to March 6, 1836) by the Mexican army, who killed all 187 members of the Texas garrison."

http://www.answers.com/Alamo?gwp=11&ver=1.1.2.381&method=3

Today I received an email that displayed pictures of high school students who walked out of their school, took down the American flag, hung the Mexican flag and put the American flag upside down beneathe it.

If I, as a legal citizen, did such a thing even from my home, I would be arrested.

I went to a convenience store today where I am a regular customer. It was closed to support the rights of illegal immigrants. I will not be going back. A quality life means far more than convenience.

I was given a flag once. It was to honor my deceased husband for serving in the United States Marine Corps during the Vietnam War. His mother was 100% Mexican and 100% United States citizen. His father was 100% Italian and 100% United States citizen who was held as a prisoner of war for two years when he served his time in the United States Army. I had the honor of knowing both of my husband's grandmothers, women who were born in different countries and chose to love this country as their own, raising their sons to be true patriots.

An adopted child is family with all rights and responsiblities. An intruder who sneaks into a home illegally and goes on to deface the property is a criminal.

A criminal has no rights. A criminal needs to be removed from the home permanently.

I was at the library again today, and this time I was invited behind the reference desk to bring up Tech Republic on one of the computers there in order to show my friend Steve around my "home" territory. That's the second time in less than a week that I showed someone My Workspace and how this site is laid out. He asked, "Will you write about me in your blog?" That seemed like a fine idea. I like the idea of bringing all of the parts of my world together. Steve is a highly intelligent end user. Until I entered TR, he was one of very few people who could understand that my idea of a night out was to spend time sitting in the reference department reading magazines. A few years ago I interviewed a number of librarians and found that, without exception, all had entered college majoring in something other than library science and had switched their major before graduation. Steve had been studying to be a chemist. Had he not switched his major the loss would have been mine.

I'm a writer. I've worn many different hats in order to support my writing. Regardless of what I was doing for pay, when anyone asked me, "So what is it that you do?" my reply has always been, "I write." When asked, "What do you write about?" I always wound up tongue tied. I write. I write about anything. I write in any form. You want a poem? A song? A thesis? A  story? Ad copy? An article? Name it! I write. It's what I do and 3/4 of who I am. The other 1/4 is composed of the things I do in order to have things to write about. I've swept floors and managed businesses. It's all the same to me. Whether working in a factory or teaching a class, I see being employed as being paid to put something in order and keep it there.
One of the finest definitions of the will of God that I ever heard was Good Orderly Direction. If that's active in my life and I am helping that to occur in life, I know I'm doing my part. Then I wander off and write about it.

The granddaughter of a friend of mine will be appearing as one of the stars in a Broadway play. She's an actress, singer and dancer. She hasn't doubted who she was. She already teaches dancing, but I'm sure, if asked, she would not call herself a teacher. Her name is Jessica Goldyn. All you have to do is put her name in the address bar of any browser to be brought directly to her page. Jessie and I got to spend a few hours together last year. We recognized one another and grinned. Jessie's nineteen now. I'm fifty-nine. Inside? We are the same. She sings and dances. I write.

As Jessie goes on to fame, I will write about her, and if anyone has any questions about either of us, I'm sure Steve will gladly steer that person in the right direction. When we are true to ourselves we wind up in the right place at the right time to encourage others in their right direction.

Thanks, Steve.

I've been fortunate to know a lot of fine men, who, before they passed from this life, shared simple wisdom that has enriched my experience and enabled me to maintain good cheer in rough circumstances. Although I worked as a camp counselor during the summer for my first two years in high school, my first "official" job was as a waitress at Friendly's Ice Cream. I learned the manager's name and stopped in daily to ask, "Any openings yet, John?" To my delight one day he grinned, and said, "Your uniform is in the back." John was an exceptional employer. He took time with each new employee, and was so good natrued that learning from him was enjoyable. "Be friendly, but not familiar." Those words have stayed with me for a lot of years. Applying them in both work and social situations has always been useful.

Another man who was a retired postal worker shared insights that were equally helpful. "The loudest voice in any argument is the one who is most wrong." George didn't speak often, but was open to answering questions, so I sought him out regularly, as did many of my peers. George's ability to remain unruffled regardless of what occurred around him, was a quality that many of us admired and wanted to emulate. I will never forget the only time George was firm with me.

George was my mentor as I was walking through a time in my life when it was necessary for me to make many critical decisions. Before acting on a decision, I would run it past George. His usual response was, "That's right." One day I called him to ask, "George, why do you always say, 'That's right' when we talk?"

He replied in a tone I had never heard him use before, "When you are wrong, I will let you know!"  Oops!

I called him on another occasion when I was feeling overwhelmed and said, "I can't handle this."

He replied, "Then stop trying to handle it. If you don't someone else will." Since it didn't make sense to me to ask him for advice and not follow it, I did what he suggested and it worked just fine. Unreasonable expectations had been placed upon me and when I refused to fulfill them my situation improved tremendously.

Charlie the architect had a very different personality than George, but the two were close friends. One day I asked Charlie what to do about resentment. He replied, "Pray for the @#$@#!"

I asked, "Well, what do I ask for them?"

He answered, "Ask that they receive everything you want."

I was young enough at that time to want a lot of things, so I spent a lot of time in prayer for a woman who was adding a lot of grief to my life. As I prayed for her, my heart softened and I wound up praying as a child would pray for her best friend. Within a few months that woman and I wound up talking. I wanted to make amends to her for having held anger toward her, but she stopped me and was too busy apologizing for what had troubled me to hear my apology. We parted with affection. Years later I met her son at a store, and once we renewed acquaintance he said, "I can't wait to tell Mom that I saw you!"

I'm a lot older now, and my list of things to ask for is limited to "Your will, Lord" both for myself and for others. I can't handle the way some people act. God can handle anything. I get out of the way and ask Him to do that. It works just fine.

I know better than to claim any wisdom of my own, but some fine men have lent me theirs. I'm grateful.