When we express ourselves in a negative way, listeners may misconstrue our message. Even worse, they may come away with the impression that we’re being obstructive rather than supportive and helpful. Calvin Sun offers some thoughts on achieving better clarity and a more positive impact with just a small shift in how we express ourselves.
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The Columbus, Ohio, broken-dam rumor began… about noon of
March 12, 1913. High Street… was loud with the placid hum of business….
Suddenly somebody began to run… Somebody else began to run. Another man… broke
into a trot. Inside of ten minutes, everybody on High Street… was running. A
loud mumble gradually crystallized into the dread word “dam.” “The dam has broke!” Two thousand people were
abruptly in full flight.
Order was restored and fear dispelled finally by means of militiamen…
bawling through megaphones: “The dam has not broken!” At first this tended only
to add to the confusion and increase the panic, for many stampeders
thought the soldiers were bellowing “the dam has now broken,” thus setting an
official seal of authentication on the calamity.
Negative phrases pose several problems in communications. For
one thing, they can cause confusion.
In his short story collection My Life and Hard Times, American humorist and author James Thurber
wrote an account titled “The Day the Dam Broke,” describing an incident in his
home town. In the spring of 1913, a misinterpretation of an announcement caused
additional panic when citizens confused the word “not” for “now.” Similar
confusion might occur if listeners failed to hear the “not,” leading them to
the opposite meaning.
Confusion is one reason to avoid negative expression. However,
a more important one is that of image. People react to us, and shape their
perceptions of us, based on the way we say things to them. Think about what an
IT department typically will tell a customer who requests something. Maybe
you’ve heard these statements yourself, or maybe you’ve said them to a
customer:
How would you react if someone said these things to you? What
would you think of that person? Most likely, you would think of them as a pain
in the neck or as someone who’s standing in your way. Your customer probably
thinks the same thing.
When you can, try to make your statements positive ones. Instead
of focusing on what you (or they) can’t do, focus instead on what CAN be done. In
other words, try to eliminate “don’t,” “won’t,” “not,” “no,” and similar words.
Yes, there will be times when re-expressing an idea positively will make it too
complicated. With practice, however, you probably can rephrase 90 to 95 percent
of the time.
For example:
In all of these examples, the rephrased statement tends to
leave a better impression on the listener. Instead of coming across as an
obstacle, the speaker comes across more as someone who is trying and willing to
help. Customers who sense this attitude are likely to be easier to work with
and to react favorably toward you.
A variation of this issue involves negative questions. Suppose
you ask a customer, “You’re not at the current release?” and the customer says
“Yes.” What does the customer mean? That answer could signal two opposite
things:
When I conduct training sessions on customer service, I
actually present this situation to attendees and ask them to vote on which
meaning they believe the customer intends. Usually the answers are divided half
and half, illustrating the confusing nature of the question.
Because confusion in the world of IT customer service is
generally undesirable, avoid asking negative questions of others. Instead,
consider the following:
By avoiding negative expressions wherever possible and using
positive phrasing instead, you can project a more positive image and communicate
more clearly.
Do you have a particular customer service challenge or question? Drop me a note describing the situation (feel free to disguise the identities of those involved), and I’ll see if I can offer any advice.
Calvin Sun works with organizations in the areas of customer service, communications, and leadership.
Calvin Sun helps organizations improve their performance, by addressing communications, customer service and leadership. His work has been featured in numerous publications including Computerworld, The Washington Post, The New York Times and Philadelphia Business Journal. His clients include Cornell, The George Washington University, the Pennsylvania State University, La Salle University and the University of Texas ? Pan American. \ \ \ Calvin has studied extensively about the Titanic. He has written and published articles about the subject, visited and photographed victim graves in Nova Scotia, delivered lectures, and has interviewed relatives or representatives of seven passengers. His article on the Nova Scotia victim graves appeared in the October 1999 issue of American Funeral Director. His article on the DNA identification attempts of unknown victims in Halifax appeared in the July 2004 issue of American Cemetery. In writing it, he interviewed the two principal researchers as well as the clergyman of the granddaughter of Titanic crew member victim Catherine J. Wallis. His talks on communications and customer service include stories from the disaster, with applications to the contemporary world. \ \ \ Calvin has written on customer service for many publications including Entrepreneur, Law Technology News and Medical Office Management. His speaking engagements include conventions and meetings of the Pennsylvania Credit Union Association, P4A, PaSAE, Association of School Business Officials International, Association of Information Technology Professionals (AITP) and the Pennsylvania Association of School Business Officials. \ \ \ Before starting his own practice, Calvin worked for IBM as a programmer and systems engineer, and for KPMG Peat Marwick as an information technology consultant and manager. He holds a B.A. degree from Haverford College and an M.B.A. degree from the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania.
