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by ilouderman

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I was creating a website for a client and it happened to be an upscale nursing home (the correct buzz words now are skilled nursing facility). Anyway, when I showed her some sample pages, she saw "home" on the pages and exclaimed that would have to be taken off as she didn't want viewers to think it was just a nursing home. I explained what a home page was and told her we could change "home" to something else...

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by larryd4

Working the World Wide Support desk on the weekends our Asia desk calls in to us. The tech says I have a guy on the phone in our location in Korea and he has a problem. The tech also says he's got a major problem in another location and he asked if I could talk with the guy, the tech said he would come back on the call, once he deals with the other issue. So I say sure pass him through.

Call gets patched through I hear nothing on the other line.

So I do my thing
Yada yada world wide support center how may I help you?

Voice over line
Smaboke! Fiber! Felp!

So I state my name and ask if the user needs help.

Voice over line responds
Smaboke! Smaaaaaaboke! Fiber! Fiber! Felp!

So now I stand up and look around the floor thinking someone is pulling a prank.

With no one in site in the office, I ask the user.
Is this a joke? This has to be a joke!

Voice reponds
Noooooo Juke, CumPooter!, Smaboke!, Fiber!

I am usually very aware of language and did not want to insult anyone. But I'm on the floor with the phone muted laughing hysterically.

Luckily as I am about to attempt to find out what exactly is on Fiber when the Asia helpdesk comes on the line and interprets.

Apparently we had sent a ton of ?old?, but new to them, PC?s and they left the power conversion switched to the US. They plugged the first one in and the power supply shorted out caught fire and started smoldering.

And yes the person who called in the problem was our tech in Korea?

by maecuff

Today I was talking with one of our consultants and she said.."well, it is a doggy dog world". What does she think that means? I wanted to explain that it's 'Dog eat dog' not 'doggy dog' but didn't know how to do that without sounding condescending.

by larryd4

Its a moo point isn't it...
;)

Friends Episode 7.08
Joey: All right, Rach. The big question is, "does he like you?" All right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo point.
Rachel: Huh. A moo point?
Joey: Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo.
Rachel: Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?

by maecuff

I had an employee send me an email with this phrase.. another words. Took me a while to figure out what she meant was in other words.

by notsochiguy

When I was working at a large consulting agency, I was developing some Lotus Notes app.

During a team meeting, I was giving a demonstration, and my manager's only feedback was:

"I don't think the color scheme will bring out the user's chi flow".

Bear in mind, I had gone through her to work with the official 'branding team' to make sure everything was copacetic from a visual standpoint.

The transfers off of the team started pretty fast and furious a short time after this meeting! ;)

by maecuff

I would have found myself physically incapable of NOT making fun of that statement.

by notsochiguy

She would have fit in PERFECTLY in Hollywood. TMZ would have loved her!! ;)

Honestly, though, I owed her one. We were partying it up one night in the office before heading out to the clubs (bunch of 20-somethings + tequila fresh from Mexico + advance copy of 'Blade' before it hit theaters + floor-to-ceiling screens in executive board rooms + corporate catering + nerf football...surreal night), and I had to go 'powder my nose'. In walking to the wee room, I passed her, of all people (why she was there at 9:30 we never found out), in the halls. It was impossible not to have smelled the tequila on me (I drank just about 1/2 the bottle by myself, and I was staggering noticeably, to boot). She never said anything about it.

If I could adequately remember 'those days', I may look back at them fondly! :)

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