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Two Choices

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by jaqui

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Two Choices

What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended.. After extolling the school and its

dedicated staff, he offered a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the

plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!

Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.

He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

B y the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!

Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:

We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.

We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'

So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:

Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

You now have two choices:

1. Delete

2. Forward

May your day, be a Shay Day.

60 replies

by pysces83

...http://www.snopes.com/glurge/chush.asp

We used to get heaps of these things forwarded around our place, often with the most ridiculous claims such "forward this to 10 people and AOL will donate $1 to a dying child" kind of thing. Management put their foot down and probibitied people from forwarding them on.

by jaqui

I posted it cause it's a nice story.
I never actually forward anything like this that is sent via email.
if an invoice, or something like that needs to be sent to others, that I would consider forwarding.

by shellbot

but its impact is still the same.
Maybe its just a "story" and this never happened..but maybe, just maybe it did happen.

It reminds me that through all the BS, all the pain and suffering on this godforsaken planet, that there are people who show compassion for thier fellow man.

by charliespencer

There are plenty of verified stories that can serve as inspiration. I don't forward anything I can't confirm.

by tink!

it does still have its affect. Somewhere, there is a story like this that is true, and that is all that matters. Humans do still hold the potential for compassion and kindness, it's just not expressed as often as it should be.

by jkameleon

Real kids hate everyone that doesn't fit into their pack. An evolutionary thing, I forgot the exact psychological term for it ("border aggressivenes", or something like that). Without adult supervision, they'd happily kill Shay with their baseball bats, and enjoyed every second of it.

by ansugisalas

If you're talking "adult supervision" as in an upbringing into an above-savagery society, then maybe, and even then it's not a given.
Savages keep together too. In some societies there has been institutionalized or religious killing of those deemed deviate, but this has always been perpetrated by adults, and for grown-up reasons (however they may be judged, grown up, not simply some natural drive).
The story may not be true, but your vision of human nature is... well, if I wasn't a nice person, I'd say it speaks on your own character. But I am, so I won't.
When children bully each other, it is more often to do with the actions of adults, than with anything else. Children are not adapted to school, it is stressful and often humiliating, and all that crap gets taken out on the weakest. But that's not for lack of adult supervision, it is indeed because the adult's enforced environment is unbearable. It's like chicken in too small cages; they peck each other to death too.

by jkameleon

> If you're talking "adult supervision" as in an upbringing into an above-savagery society,

No, I'm not talking about upbringing or education. I'm talking about immediate, stop-fighting-right-now-or-I'll-slap-you-silly kind of supervision.

> In some societies there has been institutionalized or religious killing of those deemed deviate, but this has always been perpetrated by adults, and for grown-up reasons (however they may be judged, grown up, not simply some natural drive).

Grown-ups hate and kill for grown-up reasons, money, power, and such. Child's hatred, on the other hand, is instinctive and without reason, pure, and uncorrupted.

> but your vision of human nature is...

... a bit old fashioned, I know. I'm looking upon children for what they are: A nasty little savages. And I still consider their savagery as something normal, not something that should be diagnozed as some fancy mental disorder, and treated with expensive psycho pills.

> well, if I wasn't a nice person, I'd say it speaks on your own character. But I am, so I won't.

Gee, thanks.

by jamesrl

"Kids" is a pretty big group for anyone to make sweeping generalizations about.

I'm a father of three kids, and I was of course a kid once myself (many think I still am). I've seen great kindness from kids. I've seen horrible behaviour. Sometimes I've seen both from the same kid. And I'm not talking about behaviour under supervised adults.

James

by ansugisalas

I mean, ok, the story's children are not the norm, and it's probably made up.
But if children were inherently murderous, there'd be a weekly bodycount in every school. Kids spend a lot of time together unsupervised.

by maecuff

It worked.

Probably is just emotional manipulation, but damn..I wish things really happened this way.

by charliespencer

Apparently I'm too cynical. I'm with jkameleon; kids don't act like this spontaneously, and in the bottom of the ninth they're going for the easy out and the win.

I could tell it was going for the heartstrings pretty early on, a tactic I abhor. I saw the link to Scopes and that it was unverified; if I'd received it in the mail it would have gone straight in the bit bucket.

by maecuff

We all have our weaknesses.

But you are right. I have a 12 year old son who has always been the most compassionate and sweet child. But I've noticed over the past year that my little sweetie pie isn't nearly as sweet as he used to be.

I listen to him and his friends talk and I just cringe. They are really mean.

Yesterday he came home from school with a small gash in his face. One of his friends accidently hit him in the face with a glue bottle. I asked if his friend got in trouble. He says "no, the teacher didn't see him and to make it even he let me punch him in the face".

And somehow, this is rational to a 12 year old? What happened to my little boy? He wasn't a 'punch someone in the face' kind of kid..

by fregeus

But I too doubt very much that it happen as written if it happen at all. Kids are cruel to the misunderstood. That one child helped him, maybe. Two, highly unlikely. Three, give me a break.

Nice story though

TCB

by maecuff

seems more reasonable.

My question to my son was, if it was an accident, couldn't you just let it go at that. Apparently, that is just crazy talk.

by ansugisalas

So I'll just say that luckily you're grossly grossly grossly overgeneralizing from what I can only assume has been very traumatic to you. Condolences, and, incidentally, been there, got over it.

by jkameleon

I sincerely hope that circumstances, which will eventually crush that idealistic view of yours, won't be too harsh.

by jaqui

forwarded, in a way that doesn't clutter inboxes. :D

yeah, the story is good, and does serve to remind us all that we can choose how to act daily.

I remember I got a paid summer job in high school, because of volunteer work with differently abled adults.
the job was offered to me from me playing umpire at a staff vs client baseball game. I didn't cut the clients any slack, called the game by the rules, that got me the job. :D
[ f.w.i.w. my volunteer work was with the clients baseball team, they didn't need any slack to kick the staff butts in the game. :D ]

by michael jay

over on that war game site, whatever it was called, and it is nice to know folks, that while showing a hard exterior can have a heart of gold.

by jaqui

"The Lord of the Flies" novel supports your stand

and studies done since it came out also support it.

by jaqui

find 5 year old psychology study reports.
:(
behavioral psychologists studied "normal" children over a period of 12 years, from age 3 to 15 to conclude that children are by nature savages.

by jaqui

maybe those who never went to evony will start kicking themselves for it, with you talking about how you saw a side of me that isn't readily apparent here. :D

though you might also now be able to explain why I wind up getting leadership in most situations. :D

by nexs

Is real. What you've said, on the other hand, is resulted from bad parenting.
If children would "happily kill Shay with their baseball bats" then that's definitely a product of poor parenting.
Your general point, though, is valid. But your example bites.

by jkameleon

It bites back at original, batshit crazy example which implicitely presumes, that kids are intrinsically good, which they aren't. Far from it. Goodness in children is generally achieved through parenting, it doesn't come by itself.

by nexs

The extreme exaggeration of Said story is far outweighed by your counter exaggeration.
It makes you seem like a "mentally challenged" hater.
For example, you will see far more children behaving in the way which Jaqui had shared with us all(if for no other reason than to let us all remember that goodness DOES exist, and that maybe we might commit ourselves to it on occasions) than out there, killing disabled children.

by mr_m_sween

I agree with Jkameleon on the pack mentality of children. However, that same mentality also may explain the story itself.

Given a pack mentality would mean that one boy has the position of Alpha, when the father asked the boys if his son could play most of them would look at each other without responding, they are waiting for the Alpha to make the decision. The decision to let the boy play is made.
Given boys minds and baseball, its highly likely that the pitcher was also the alpha, when Shay comes up to the plate that same Alpha makes the decision to go easy on him, thereby setting the tone for the encounter. Shay hits the ball back to the Alpha pitcher who solidifies his decision by obviously erroring the throw to first. At this point the rest of the pack follows the leaders example allowing Shay to round the bases.

So, its completely possible that the story may have happened, all it would take is the boy in the Alpha position to set the tone of the encounter.

Still tugs at the ol' tear ducts regardless.

by michael jay

Just hope to hear about you getting employed, that is one important thing, others you mentioned I will be silent on.

by the 'g-man.'

those 'feel good' stories are 10 a penny and are used in many corporate cermons on 'customer service' every day. You company can be those boys! I will pass.

by jkameleon

... and deserves every counter exaggeration possible.

It's probably concocted by some Big Pharma PR department trying to sell more psycho pills by destigmatizing their consumers. The concept of "mentally challenged hater" is part of the same effort. 99.99% kids instinctively hate their mentally challenged peers. That's how they are wired, evolutionary reasons for that should be obvious enough, I guess. Now... to diagnose all of them with MCHD (Mentally Challenged Hating Disorder), and fill them with Ritalin- that would certainly be a good business, don't you think?

by leonardo_c

Shay should've been aborted when the ultrasound showed his defects. The story is touching, but quite far from reality.

by nexs

It's very true, and I think it's awful that sales are pitched on the destruction of social and personal lives.

But could it not also be true that this particular story was one built for the very purpose of Chain Mail; "Send this to 10 friends or your first child will not have this experience" or "send it or die" or any other variation.
I think the latter is the more possible, as I'm sure I've seen this in my inbox a few times.

by maxwell edison

I had to look it up, which made it even more interesting. Would you care to elaborate?

Actually, those kids I have in mind include:

The ones I've seen at events for the Special Olympics. Disabled kids compete against other disabled kids, but the involvement, help, and encouragement given by the [i]normal[/i] kids is incredible.

My own teenaged son and a couple of his bowling buddies often include a kid with Downs Syndrome to bowl with them. They never knew the kid until they started bowling at a certain place. I think the kid's mom works there. They tone-down their game, become less competitive, intentionally throw their own gutter balls, coach and encourage him, and just have fun with the kid.

I've seen scout troops embrace kids with disabilities, including the one I was involved with for many years.

I could go on.

by santeewelding

If you had to look it up, Max, consider that your experience with epitomes just might be parochial. This may hold also for, "freedom", among other matters.

by maxwell edison

..... to everyone else who had to look it up.

Fine, I admit that I'm an idiot since I've never heard of [i]The Lord's Resistance Army. [/i]

Nonetheless, would you care to answer my question? Would you care to elaborate (as to why you posted that)?

by santeewelding

I [i]suggested[/i], "parochial".

"Idiot" is yours.

To do as you ask -- elaborate -- would amount to hijacking Jaqui's thread. It would amount to hijacking and disassembling you -- and near everyone else -- when comes the other matter of, being.

by maxwell edison

Since I never intended to hijack Jaqui's thread (although I can't speak for you); and since I consider my reply to Jaqui (and jkameleon@... ) both relevant and appropriate; and since I abhor word-games and/or mind-games; I wish you a nice evening.

(P.S. Have you nothing better to do with your life?)

by nexs

Before his cryptics sends you crazy, Smile and nod.
That's what I do, and he likes it!
:)

by nexs

Sir!
I forgot our agreement the other day as well. the sun went without a setting and the moon never rose. All I can do is ask for forgiveness

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