False information on resume – ever do it?

OK folks – still looking for a new job, and I was thinking about stretching the truth on the resume. Things like saying I have a degree (I don’t) and certified training on the newer stuff. Look – I don’t mean lying about things I don’t know about, just the goofy details that get you past the screeners. I learned the new stuff on my own and I can hold my own against most techies….