Guy 1: Hey! Why do you smoke cigarettes even though there is a warning on the pack that says it’s bad for your health?
Guy 2: I am a software professional. I don’t bother about warnings — I am concerned only about the ”Alerts.”
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There was a guy driving down the road when he ran out of gas. He went to the nearest house to ask for some gas. As soon as he opened the door it started to pour so the guy asked to stay overnight. The owner said, ”OK, but if you see a monster in the garage, whatever you do don’t touch it.”
So the man went up to the guestroom but was too curious. He went down to the garage and saw the huge ugly monster. He decided to see what it would do if he threw a rock at it or made faces. He did both these but nothing happened.
So the man went and touched the monster. Up the monster jumped and chased the man all over the country. When the man got to a cliff he thought he was going to die, so he rolled up in a tiny ball.
When the monster came over he touched the man and said, ”You’re it!”
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There was a tourist on a farm and he asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg.
The farmer said, ”That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw.”
”So why does he have a wooden leg?” the tourist asked.
”Well one night our house caught on fire. And he came into our house and he woke us all up.”
”So,” the tourist asked again, ”why does that pig have a wooden leg?”
”Well, a pig that brave you can’t eat all at once!”
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Heaven was getting a bit crowded, so Peter began giving quizzes to see who should get in. A man ascended to heaven, and came to the gates.
“Who was the first man?” asked Peter.
“Adam.”
“That’s correct. Enter.” Soon another man came along.
“Where did Adam and Eve live?”
“Eden.”
That’s correct. Enter.” Then Mother Theresa came along.
“Ooh, I’ll have to give you a hard one. What did Eve say when she met Adam for the first time?”
“Mmm, that IS a hard one.”
“Enter.”
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Happy Friday!!!!!!!!!!