Bit of an Impure one for today
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What’s the difference between a French Kiss and an Australian Kiss?
No difference really, except the Australian Kiss is given ‘down under’
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A man goes into the pub and orders a beer. The bar is empty and he is left to enjoy the beer himself. From nowhere he hears a small voice, “Mate, your looking well – that exercise is doing wonders”. Shocked, the man looks around but cannot see anyone else there. He takes a nervous sip from his beer and he hears the voice again “Mate, that shirt looks real smart on you. If any chicks were here they’d be all over you” The guy looks around again but cannot see anyone. Finishing his beer, he needs to go to the loo, but as he heads over he hears another voice “God, you’re a loser”. He looks around but the pub is empty. He goes to the loo and comes back out and hears it again “You’re worthless mate, utterly useless”
He heads back to the bar and takes a seat, feeling a little sad from the last insults, he orders another beer. “Hey bartender” he says “Can you tell me that why I am over hear, I hear a voice saying all these nice things about me, but when I go over to the loo I get insulted?”
“Thats easy he said”
“See these beer nuts here; they’re complimentary. That cigarette machine near the toilets is out of order”
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