So that all of you can start the Friday Humor round with a Pure Heart…
(is it too early?)
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?”
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something.”
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a 6′ tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2″, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6’5″ pushing 300 and he’s a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”
The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
———————————
Deep in the Amazon, there are many tribes living in quite solitude. Some are warring, some are peaceful.
One peaceful tribe was known far and wide (almost mythically) as being peaceful and wealthy. There were great stories about the tribal chief’s throne being made of gold with inlaid jewels of untold value.
The chief of a less friendly tribe decided that he wanted that throne for himself and planned an attack through the dense jungle.
Well, the peaceful tribe heard of the plans (they have lots of friends from being so nice and Pure) so they decided to hide the riches and, especially, the throne. The only place, however, they could think to hide the throne was in the dark upper area of the chief’s hut and cover it with palm fronds.
So the attackers showed up and started going around the huts of the village looking for these untold riches, finding nothing and getting a bit miffed.
The warring chief finally entered the peaceful chief’s hut and asked about the riches and, especially, the throne. The peaceful chief said “I know not of what you speak, friend. We are Pure of heart and spirit and keep no riches.”
Right about that time there was a low wooden groaning and cracking followed by a very loud crash and thump as the thrown fell from the thatched roof onto the floor of the hut. The peaceful chief looked sheepishly at the warring chief. The warring chief look reproachfully at the peaceful chief and said:
“People who live in grass houses should [b]never[/b] stow thrones!”
—————————–
Go forth and be Pure!
Edited to admit being beaten as first entry