Networked without my approval?

I believe my employer has networked my (personal) laptop and has been spying on me. I don’t know that much about networking, but her husband works in IT. If my laptop isn’t networked, why would there be an SQL program (says ODBC driver) in my program files? Can I delete it? What other programs should I look for and delete? Please help, I’ve recently received a trojan horse and an executable file.