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The zombie attacks are coming

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by michael jay 1 view

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or so thinks this Leicester citizen who sent this letter to the City Council;

Dear Leicester City Council,

Can you please let us know what provisions you have in place in the event of a zombie invasion? Having watched several films it is clear that preparation for such an event is poor and one that councils throughout the kingdom must prepare for.

Please provide any information you may have.

Yours faithfully,

Concerned Citizen

Made me laugh, but then I thought, are people really that dumb?

Story here;
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-13713798

30 replies

by nicknielsen

They were attacked by zombies yesterday.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-13823427

by ansugisalas

Very good... making zombies into trojans for the common good.
Of course, the meeting place thing could turn the post box into a veritable lunch box.

by ansugisalas

firearms may be of limited usefulness, depending on the kind and grade of zombie involved.
A machete is more generally useful, if zombie documentaries are to be trusted ;)

by hal 9000

Zombies are real but to make them slightly more Palatable to the general Public they have been renamed .

They are now known as [b]Politicians.[/b]

They however do everything possible to destroy your lives and currently it's Publicly Unacceptable to kill them on a wide spread basis. The odd one or two being killed are acceptable but attempting to wipe them all of the face of the planet gets some serious complaints by the Media who know no better. ;)

Col

by michael jay

the zombies protect themselves by maintaining a position of power, so it would not be proper to ask the zombies to protect us from zombies. Yikes.

by ansugisalas

particularly, the kind of zombie which is liable to accidentally shoot its loved ones - thinking the point of a gun is to use it.

The CDC has three purposes:
*Gather information
*Carry out or enable countermeasures
*Keep the zombies from doing too much harm

by santeewelding

You and I. No need to descend into details.

I would note, however, that AARP is not. Maybe CDC runs AARP, or vice-versa. In either case, they are obliged to say what they do or they are not titularly in charge of how we are.

by hal 9000

After all how do you know what to do when the Zombies are on the March looking for Votes?

Look at the way that they grab small children and suck their brains out through their faces. Probably more importantly why do otherwise sensible women allow Politicians/Zombies to indecently assault their children like that?

Personally I just think a 50MM Machine Gun loaded with Silver Bullets is the best way to deal with the Zombies when they are moving. May not kill them outright but when there are bits of them spread over a .5 mile radius they dont bother anyone once the Mechanical Street sweepers have been past. ;)

Currently in AU the Opposition Leader Tony Rabbit wants a pleb er cite which comes in at only a few ten million dollars each to discuss a Carbon Trading Scheme/Tax. But he doesnt want to have to abide by the decision of the people so if it was to pass and he somehow became Prime Minister as apposed to Julia Gill ard he could do as the Sweet Julia wants to [i]s She pleases.[/i]

Both of them and their so called Parties [/i]like if you where ever invited to one of those crowds with the excuse that they where having a party anyone not in Politics would go[/i] are capable of doing is spending the peoples money and voting themselves Pay Increases. All Politicians in history have proved singularly inept at doing anything which doesnt benefit themselves.

All Politicians just want to suck the life out of the nation and take it to their level below the grave sites which is way down below the gutter where the rest of us live.

Yea right more waste from the Federal Government as if both sides have not created more than enough waste in the last decade to last us all the next century.

Col

by nexs

Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Even though they don't technically have 'Absolute Power', they sure-as-rain-is-wet can twist the system to emulate it!

I'd complain about what they do and do not do to benefit me, the employee of Australia, but truth be told, I'd be a much worse leader than any of them.
Another truth?
We don't have it so bad. Our culture and our financial standing (at the moment) is above that of the USA and other first world countries. We've actually got it pretty good. (edited): Especially our healthcare. I mean to say that I cringe at the thought of the Americans who need to have health insurance just to be sure that, if something went wrong, their family could go to the hospital to be treated without being thrown to the nearest backyard doctor.

Let's just wait for the day that zombies take over and we can sit back and say, "I told you we should have created the "Alice" project..."

by santeewelding

Published it first. Orwell repeated it.

Doesn't diminish your comment one bit.

___________

"Said" to "published". I'm old, but not that old that I was there to hear it.

by nexs

All the zombies, werewolf and vampire action happens in the States and Europe.

No-one is willing to catch a plane or a boat just to infect a bunch of 'convicts'!

by hal 9000

Illegal Immigrant who doesn't pay their arrival Tax when they arrive unannounced on a boat isn't it? :^0

The sensible ones will stay away in droves and the few that may be interested in coming will not be dealt with by the People Smugglers as they would be open to attack if they didn't do as they where contracted to do. After all no matter what you think those smuggling people are not stupid. ;)

Col

by robo_dev

No need for a boat when you no longer breathe. Although it is a bit of a long walk there. Of course it's not as if a zombie has anything else to do.

And not to digress, would fish eat zombies, and thus become undead themselves? I would assume it would be difficult walking on the ocean floor, but perhaps through sheer force of will they could make it from the mainland.....

by hal 9000

She was complaining of stomach pains and went to the Hospital where she was told you have a Infected Appendix and it need to be removed. What Health Insurance do you have?

When she replied none she was told to go home and die there so as to not mess up the Hospital and add costs to her family.

What we have in Au isnt because of the Pollies but in spite of them. We have a decent system here because of the Bureaucrats have reigned in the excesses of all of the Flavours of Pollies that we have here.

While Im no lover of the Bureaucrats they have at the very least contained the worst excesses of all of the Pollies.

As one new Prime Minister was told [b]The Queen wants the business of Government to continue even if there is a Change of Government, so we have the Bureaucratic System .[/b]

Sort of puts the Pollies squarely into their place if you ask me. ;)

I however would be a Great Leader the first Issue to be put out by me would be [b]Off with their Heads[/b] and then we'll see what happens. :^0

Col

by nexs

I'll purchase the hairspray and decorated dress, AND deliver it to you in person.

I doubt, though, that I can find a flammingo willing enough to belt its way through the hedgehogs that I'll import for you.

by hal 9000

If you look at AU's Leader and Alternative Leader we find that they are both Boat People.

One who is the current leader was the daughter of a 10 Pound Pom and Im not quite sure what the other was but both are most defiantly Boat People.

Probably a good advertisement why we don???t want them now if you ask me.

I told a very senior member of the Libs that and they at first rejected it violently till they looked into it and had to agree with me. God I hate being right all of the time. :^0

Col

by nexs

Is a Pom? From recollection, they come over on planes. Unless you're talking about those boats in 1788..

by hal 9000

The 10 Pound Pom's came over on Boats till 1976.

After that point in time it got cheap enough to use planes but prior they all came on boats unless the emergriants paid their own way over.

The ones that came on the Government Run White Australia program came on boats. ;)

Both the Abbot and Gillard families where members of the Government Run Program.

Col

by nexs

I suppose was the cost.. what incentive!

My family is of the aeroplane variety of pom.. So, probably, 500 pound pom...

by nicknielsen

The zombie virus is zöonotic, so the fish that nibble on the zombies become zombies.

I can just see you trying to eat your trout dinner at the same time it's trying to eat you... :^0

edit: html chars

by hal 9000

What about Giant Squid?

Or for that matter any of the other Deep Ocean Creatures?

It???s way too flighting to even contemplate, just thing Jaws with a difference. ;)

Col

by jamesrl

I'd still think about an island if zombies can walk under water. You need an island far enough away that the zombies can't see it. The zombie attention span is not that great. Its unlikely that they will have the desire to take a walk of 3 or 4 miles across an ocean (or big lake) floor unless they can see or smell something over there. If one does make it over, they can't exactly call their friends. You could even take precautions to only be seen on the far side of the island.

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