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TR's Boobie bar!

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by oz_media 1 view

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I checked out the cafe across the street, couldn't even buy a beer on a Friday!

So I decided that instead of a muffin and a mocha, I'd go for a Guinness and a dozen single malts.

A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth.
"I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies

"O.K. do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife "No, no boyfriend either."

"Do you have a partner then?"

"No, I'm unattached, I'll be having my baby on my own."

After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman. "You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is black"

"Well," replies the girl. "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in a Porno movie. The lead man was black."

"Oh, I'm very sorry," says the midwife, "that's really none of my business and I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions but I must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair."

"Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see I desperately needed the money and there was this Swedish guy also involved in the movie, what else could I do?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," the midwife repeats, "that's really none of my business and I hate to pry further but your baby has slanted eyes."

"Well yes," continues the girl, "I was incredibly hard up and there was a little Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice."

At this the midwife again apologises collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give baby a slap on the bum. The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims,
"Well thank God for that !"

"What do you mean?" says the midwife, shocked.

"Well," says the girl extremely relieved, "I had this horrible feeling that the little wierdo was going to bark!"

_____________________________________

Did you get the beers in? Shhhhh, here we go.

"AAAAAAAAaalright gentlemen, put your hands together and welcome Ms.Trixie Tata's to the stage!"

~oooonse~oooonse~oooooonse~ooooooonse~

:D Well...soon anyway.

96 replies

by oz_media

If you don't remember the old Friday Yuk's, they started out pretty good but got pretty off colour as some newer peers would just post a list of really rude, adult jokes instead of just one fairly clean joke and then moving on.

We kept it going for a few years, every Friday like clockwork, but then it only takes one bad apple to spoil the cider. Colin, neil, one or two others and myself used to race to get it started each Friday, but after it got ruined by a certain peer, we just let it go. Colin cheated though, he'd be posting in Aussie time while we'd all be snuggled up in bed.
It eventually got to the point where nobody wanted to start it anymore, it had lost it's hint of taste.

I only posted this in jest because the new Catch Up Cafe (or should that be 'katsup Cafe') seemed too passive for me today.

Who wants to go for coffee on a Friday? That's Monday stuff, Friday is for nude, beer swilling adventures. (I do wear clothes when I'm working though....most of the time anyway)

by av .

I liked the dirty jokes personally. I'm not a nun and I'm over 18 too.

I don't drink coffee on Friday either unless theres a little somethin' in it.

As for nude beer swilling adventures, I'm more into wine, but if you want to drink beer in the nude, go ahead. I'm an equal opportunity swiller.

AV :^0

by darryl~

I used to look forward to it....I seldom posted on it but always enjoyed the jokes.

Thanks for explaining that.

by nexs

By a Rick Astley.
The song isn't so bad once. But over and over?

by purpleskys

i've had my drinks...where's the male strippers eh...i've had a couple Smirnoff Ice so where's all the Chippendales?

by av .

But ok. He forgot about us ladies in his boobie cafe and what we might be doing while he's there.

http://www.amazon.com/Chippendale-Double-Pedestal-Table-Chairs/dp/B000OFUUB0

AV :^0

by oz_media

I'm just used to women liberated enough that they'll go to a strip bar with the guys too.

by oz_media

Sorry, you'll have to eatch female strippers. Been to the clubs with plenty of womeon before, suck it up and get an eyeful of silicone and Brazillian.

by purpleskys

it's supposed to be all is fair...? well, guess i'll have to take my business down the street then...there's a really cool cafe that serves good coffee and sweets with good company ;)

by purpleskys

i like wine...especially Aussie wine, i think they have it figured out on how to make an awesome chardonnay!

Honestly, i don't drink coffee on friday nights either, tonight it's smirnoff ice \...yum :) hick :) Happy Friday good ppl

by bergenfx

They're all gay. Any chair that spends that much effort on the details of their chair backs, has to be.

(No sexual orientation slur intended. Some of my best friends are chairs).

Edited to add something.

by purpleskys

as is one of my bestest buds...i personally didn't see it coming for years (i'm a tad niave) but I love him for who he is...one of my bestest buds :)

by bergenfx

A conspiracy? First, boxfiddler (another thread) and now you? Chuckling to myself, people are saying, "What is the matter with you?" Someone quick, say something dour, so I can go back to my natural, sterney-face ... (sterney face icon goes here).

I love the cleverness.

by oz_media

I have a few gay friends, always have done I think, it doesn't make much difference around here which way you swing.

From their own mouths:
What did one gay guy say to the other sitting at the bar?
Can I push in your stool?
(I KNOW!)

How do you squeeze four gay guys on one bar stool?
Flip it upside down.

:D

When I lived in the West End, my neighbour was a stand up comedian at the local gay clubs, DAMN that guy was hilarious! Not much I could repeat here though. Unforunately had an accident in the bath tub one year, a seizure, and he never got to tour.

by oz_media

I worked with a couple of Chipendales *yeah they had day jobs too). One was married to a really nice (and really geeky) guy, the other was a minister at the gay church.

Hard to dance and only keep a semi on when you are turned on by the audience.

by oz_media

Any Friday yuou want to get one going, there's nothing stopping you.

I just stopped starting them when a certain peer turned into an adult joke search engine. He'd just post 5 then post another 5 and so on, as if nobody had Google.

It used to be fun, everyone would pick out an edgy but not over the top, overly censored joke. I'm always game if you want to revive it.

by av .

Nothing shocks me really, I live in New Jersey, not the Bible Belt. Anything goes here. I've gone to strip bars with the guys. I've seen the Chippendales with the girls. Its all good.

Still, how about those chairs?

AV :^0

by oz_media

And I have gond dancing at a gay bar too.
I had a girlfriend who's gay brother was a stripper for ladies nights and stagettes, the girlfriend worked all the men's strip bars. It was actually pretty cool,, I'd hang out and play pool all night whiel guys bought her drinks and tried their best pick up lines, then she'd get packed up at the end of th enight and go home with me, much to a dozen men's disappointment.

I worked in a really mixed office for a few years, gay, lesbian, straight and bi (and that was just the management team :D ) we would start at one end of town and hit a sleazy biker bar then work our way through town visiting live music bars, strip bars and dance clubs for both genders and often end up renting a hotel room and having 6 or 7 of us crash out in the two beds, very Club 54, well rounded group of coworkers/party friends. Everyone knew where they stood, nobody crossed the line with the wrong people and it was pretty communal. Next Friday we'd often end up with a different 'friend' for the night, just hwo you got along with at the time. We'd go back to work on Monday and all be best friends, professional and productive, then let loose at the downstairs bar every night until the Friday crawl again.

by nicknielsen

Pretty hard to convince somebody you (and your cause) are rational when you make your attitude towards dissent or disagreement so clear...

by maxwell edison

..... there must be an element of truth. And that was damn funny!

P.S. But it painted (no pun intended) the radical environmental loonies as just that.

by oz_media

Unlike a female strip night, the strippers are not always the center of attention. I've been to strip clubs where you don't even notice the dancers because you are into pool or darts or just BSing with the guys. When I went to ladis night, the women were all over the strippers, freaking out. It's not like that at men's clubs, you can't touch them, it's just something to watch if you want, it's not the entire focus of the night.

I can see why a lot of women don't like their men going to strip clubs though, if they see what goes on when there are male strippers, they think it's the same at men's bars, but men are so tame and subdued in comparison. Of course there are some drunks that get carried away, but usually they get tossed pretty damn quickly.

by oz_media

You try so hard to figure me out, to put me into a little box that you can label.
It's a fruitless task, one which you will never succeed at.

by av .

You're right - totally different environment. Usually, male dancers are the focus and not just dancing in the background. There are no pool tables, darts, etc. Its just a bunch of women out for a night of mild debauchery.

Women don't like when their men go to strip clubs because there are some strip clubs for men that offer lots more than darts, pool and BSing. For a few bucks, they'll dance on your table or offer more private dancing (I think you know what I mean).

I used to work with some guys many years ago that always frequented those *special* places when traveling out of state on the corporate dime. Their wives never knew that they were doing anything other than working hard. I never got to go to THOSE kind of clubs. Not invited by my male co-workers and wouldn't want to go anyway, but I heard all the stories because they loved bragging about their experiences. Pretty shameful stuff.

Not sure if you have special places like that where you live, but we have them here in the US.

AV

by oz_media

We have a few. And so does every other city on the planet, sex is the oldest trade known to man. If hubby sill stray when away, he will stray anyway. It has nothing to do with the club, those VIP dances are nothing more than a semi provate dance. Pay more and go upstairs, but you get get that anywhere, not just at clubs. I've seen women at strip clubs drop their tops, drop their drawers and give male strippers oral, something that would NEVER happen at a men's clubs.

I just think women are raunchier when they go out, they see is as breaking free from men, guys just see strip clubs as a few beers with sexy dancers on stage. It doesn't have the same 'ooh ahh' impact it seems.

But hey, we different that what makes it so much fun. I just think women are weary of what men get up to, when only a VERY small portion seek 'other opportunities', because women know what happens when THEY go to strip bars themselves.

by oz_media

I stopped starting them and gave up posting to them at that point. Seems others followed and it fizzled out.

by oz_media

I suppose that's why they air outside of America. Different sense of humour.

On the flipside, the humour is in the irony of it, that's how they are SEEN by 'nonconformists', so they are laughing at it, as they laugh at their own stereotypes.

You just have to be able to laugh at yourself I guess.

by nicknielsen

But many people won't. Americans who depend on talking heads to do their thinking for them will just react: "So THAT's why they call them enviro-wackos." Many other people–not just Americans–are simply incapable of understanding satire or irony.

Personally, I thought it was a little over-the-top. They could have made the same point much less graphically if enviro-cops showed up to make arrests.

by maxwell edison

..... that were aired during a Super Bowl a year, or two, or three, ago?

Some car company (I forgot which one) was behind them.

by maxwell edison

..... that there are plenty of enviro-loonies who would love to be able to simply dispose of the nay sayers (like me) in such a way by the mere push of a button.

by Member 25348569

That was an environmental group's production!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1317079/Richard-Curtis-exploding-schoolchildren-climate-change-video-withdrawn.html

To me, that makes it even funnier! But more than a little disturbing.

:D

by maxwell edison

Brit humor (or should I say, humour?) is spelled different both literally and figuratively, I must say.

I'd actually like to see a variant of that clip, one that shows Al Gore being blown up in such a way when he's spouting his nonsense. Now that would be funny!

Of course, in today's day and age, even the mere suggestion of such a thing in the US of A is enough to get some people's panties into a bunch.

by oz_media

Lets be fair here, Max.

There are just as many who would love to quickly 'dispatch' of those who support GW too.

by av .

Other than a little money in the g-string. Men are more apt to pay more for the private, so called "dances" in my opinion.

There might be some raunchy women, but I don't think thats the norm. Yeah, women go out to those places and get crazy but its all just in fun for most of them, not a way to get sexual satisfaction.

AV

by maxwell edison

Oz said, [i]"There are just as many who would love to quickly 'dispatch' of those who support GW too."[/i]

Some, perhaps, but not me. I want them - the Al Gores of the world - to stick around and keep spouting their nonsense. And I want them discredited and exposed for the charlatans they really are.

Actually, the 10-10 video is no more than one side (the mm-gw/cc loonies) conceding the REAL argument in favor of discrediting (or destroying) their opponent.

It's a typical ploy. When you can't debate the real argument, then discredit (or destroy) those arguing against it. It's a perfect illustration of the politics of personal destruction.

And now that I've said it, even saying that is rather funny, considering the context! The politics of personal destruction - BOOM! Blood and guts spread all over the place! That's exactly what they do!

P.S. I'd much rather see Al Gore discredited and run outa' town than simply being blown up. Being blown up is too easy on him.

by nicknielsen

I remember the response to the ads in my area being almost universally negative; I don't remember seeing them again after Super Bowl Sunday. But Audi set sales records in Feb and March 2010.
http://www.theautochannel.com/news/2010/03/02/467685.html
http://www.audiblog.info/2010/04/audi-march-2010-sales-and-unprecedented.html

And they use Cheap Trick's "Dream Police" as the music...spoiled that song for me. I do get a kick, though, that as the Green Policeman lays "Plastic boy" down on the checkstand, the scanner beeps: his left ear apparently has a valid UPC. :^0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVhT7P0lDfI?

by oz_media

There was an i-Phone malware/virus that was changing the wallpaper to RIck Astley, wasn't there?

by nexs

You mean, after all this time, you haven't realised that I'd never buy an iPhone?

I'm safe from the Adam Virus...
..The virus that takes a bite(byte) out of an Apple..

;)

by oz_media

Women around male strippers here start getting naked and having sex with dancers right in the club, which is HIGHLY illegal but they do it anyway. Not one or two but many.

I worked the VIP room at a strip club, wen I was younger and it was everything the girls could do just to get someone to pay for a private show, and that was actually dancing where I would stop it as soon as the guy's hands made contact with her. "Hands at your sides!" They even have a hard time selling kneck massages, something they offer at SOME clubs. $15 gets you a kneck rub [i](I'll admit that they do have some neato, soothing lotions)[/i] with a giant bouncer standing beside her, while you chat with your friends or watch the dancers.

Sure there are then the invitations, at some clubs, to go upstairs, but you are talking about 1 in 50 at best. Most guys just go back home to see what's for dinner to soak up the booze.

I think women THINK a lot more goes on in mens clubs, well they would LIKE to think that's what is going on so they can put their foot down and say, NO MORE. IN reality, it's all pretty tame and not too many guys are getting laid at a strip bar, VERY VERY few in fact. Those that do can find it just as easily down the road too and would stray anyway. It' snot like the guy is normally a straight up family man and wouldn't entertain the idea until it was sold to him at a strip club, seriously it just doesn't happen that way. Most of it is in a woman's mind, the girls in clubs are so closely monitored it's not funny. They are never out of a bouncers sight for more than a minute or two.
Plus the club faces losing its license, the 'whore bars' are really becoming very few and far between. I only know of one in Vancouver and even that's pretty tame a "back room massage" is literally that, a massage.

by oz_media

I think you are looking to deep into it. They are just commercials done in jest. You have to remember they are not as cerebral as you want them to be.

by hal 9000

Currently it's 0645 Hours on the 8 September 2010.

Yep that's 7.45 on Friday Mourning. :p

Col

by darryl~

I posted it 9 hours before your post....it was still 10 PM Thursday evening there ;)

by darryl~

Long weekend to boot.....

Thanksgiving is in October here....

Happy Turkey Day to all the Canadians (not the hockey team) out there.

Pumpkin pie.....yum.

by hal 9000

It's 0330 Saturday morning.

I've got to get a life being up at this time is just wrong. :(

Col

by darryl~

Someone has to be responsible for looking after the future.....I'm very sorry it's such an inconvievence but you know how it is....

Someone has to do it.....and it seems your name is someone :D

by av .

Its Friday! We need to liven up this place. I'll have a cold one. I bought along some tunes, too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzP0GCILr7c&feature=related

AV :^0

by av .

Definitely miss MJ. One of my faves.

Can't forget this one

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6827163268088648679#

AV

by darryl~

how about a little "mash" ;) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9Dz5yui0Rc

opps.....

She posted under my profile....

Too many computers laying around here I guess :)

by darryl~

We're getting close to "party time" one the East Coast....

I'll buy a round if you can find a bartender ;)

by nicknielsen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f88NZ1sxWX0

If you don't want to listen to the entire 24 minutes, I usually wind up looping this part when the trick-or-treaters are out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYZMPfOmBB8

by nicknielsen

The album before "Dark Side of the Moon". They also performed it "Live at Pompeii".

That center section is an ideal Halloween soundtrack.

Added: It doesn't get much airplay because of the length.

Correction: Obscured By Clouds was the album just before Dark Side. Meddle preceded it.

by nicknielsen

These three are from the first two albums. Neither ever got much airplay in the States.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1tfUaBezFo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZ54JVSLYFc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPgAM31N5Co (Isn't that a great scream?)

The first two also work well on Halloween soundtracks.

by av .

I can do Meat Loaf

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2tmxw_hot-patootie_fun

AV :^0

by av .

The lite is easier on the bod, you know. I mean calorically speaking.

Heres a tune for ya

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1d8hZtvRPno

AV

by michael jay

But it was 2 years ago hanging around the bar at the first TR Gathering and on the TV CNN I think, came the news of his demise.

by purpleskys

I missed happy hour...well then, I guess I'll have to "man" the bar later and have another one ;)

by av .

Its the full moon tonight, the Hunter's moon according to the almanac. Nice and bright, with some occasional clouds that veil its brightness.

I had a long day at a kiddie party. Lots of fun, but I'm feeling my age. They wore me out.

AV

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