[b]When this unpleasant remark is made about you, stand up, making sure your flies are closed and announce in a firm voice:
‘To hell with that sh!t.’
You may add, with a hint of hurt modesty flavouring the voice:
‘I was born, wasn’t I, and that’s enough for me.’
Of course your opponent’s high pitched reposte will be:
[i]’But sir. that is not enough for us.'[/i]
Sit down and think. A valuable antique chair helps. Cross your legs and pull up your socks. Right away if your socks are white or otherwise bright you are in trouble unless you happen to be in yachting or tennis gear. In these latter equipages you can assume you are not entirely without hope.
Examine your background. If you really stare it straight in the status it’s surprising the amount of dignity which can be salvaged from the unvarnished truth. Even from the unmitigated wrong side of the tracks or floor of the apartment building, there’s bound to be something that will entitle you to make an effective reply to the lousy remark above. This is why everybody should research around a little in his lineage. Back far enough or out to the side, someone must have been something once.
For orphans who do not know who their parents were, this is sad but by no means socially fatal, and affords you a fresh start. If you have received a Red Cross Life Saving Certificate, riposte pronto with this information. After their first few ha ha ha’s, your temporarily superior opponents will cringe at your hopeless effort to give an accounting of yourself. And you will feel really rotten. Your crestfallen demeanour, however, will make them clear off. They will not be inviting you to their parties, But you are left with a marvellous incitement to social climb.”[/b]
Y’all know me by now.
I’m odd sometimes – sometimes without reason!
Yesterday I took delivery of a paperback I’ve been hunting down for [b]over 30 years[/b] (being prized and out of print I had to bid for it!!).
You have just read the first demi-paragraph of the first chapter. If no-one can tell me the title of this tome I will continue to post portions of this comedic masterpiece over how long I have left among you.
Any thoughts on the first submission ??? :p