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What do I DO?

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by nicknielsen

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This came in email today:

ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONETARY CRIMES DIVISION
FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001
Attn: Beneficiary,

This is an official advice from the Federal Bureau of Investigation; it has come to our notice that an Afflict Bank in African has transfer the sum of 10,500,000.00 U.S Dollar to Bank of America in your name which BOA are to credit to your personal account.

We have decided to contact you directly to acquire the proper verifications and proof from you to show that you are the rightful person to receive this fund. We want to make sure its a clean and legal money you are about to receive before we can instruct the Bank to credit your account.So you are advice to forward us the "Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer" (DIST) if you have it in your position to satisfy that the money your about to receive is legal and legitimate.

If you dont have these documents as required, let us know so that we can direct you on whom you are to communicate to obtain the document and send to us so that we clarify them and ask the bank holding the funds to go ahead increditing your funds to your account immediately.

This condition is valid until 15 day. after we shall take action on canceling the payment and then charge you for illegally moving funds out of Africa.

Sign
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
Director Washington D.C
MR.ROBERT MUELLER

=====

I don't have the forms they want, but if I don't claim the money, they're going to arrest me! Calamity and woe!

:^0

22 replies

by charliespencer

The good news is that, compared to maximum security facilities, so-called 'white collar' prisons usually have a much lower sodomy rate.

by john.a.wills

According to Ezechiel (16:49 - 50), the sins of the Sodomites were: great pride, fullness of bread, great laziness, and not helping the poor and invalids. Are these really less in white-collar prisons? And would Nick, say, be a sinner in the prison, or once sinned against?

by charliespencer

Can't be. No one has yet approached me asking to be sodomized. I have to actively pursue a partner. No one ever committed sodomy while sitting on their @$$.

by nicknielsen

If worse comes to worse, I'll tell them it was a different Nick Nielsen. There are a few of us around.

And if it gets worse than that, I know a cabin in the woods...

by ansugisalas

It's so much easier today, almost any size of file will fit in a cookie...
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... if you put it on a microSD... :p

by hal 9000

When you drop the Soap in the shower after your arrest

[b]REMEMBER[/b]

Never to bend over to pick it up just leave it on the floor for someone else to slip up on. ;)

It's very important that you remember that advice. :0

Col

by santeewelding

Is you throw it out to your friends for them to decide.

If we can't think of anything, we'll make it up.

Trust us.

by kenone

I'd call his office and tell them the problem. If just a few people did it they'd probably laugh and shake their heads. If dozens of people did it they'd think it was a new terrorist movement and try to get you on a list somewhere. But, if hundreds, yes, hundreds of people did it then they might investigate and they might start making arrests.

by jck

I turn to The Corrs:

"Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just going to let it fly"

Spam will always exist...just like PCH letters did in snail mail the whole time I was growing up.

by nicknielsen

Bought stuff from'em, too.

And don't forget RD. I used to devour the magazine in about four hours. My mom submitted every sweepstakes entry form and actually won something once, I think. A lifetime subscription to sweepstakes entries, I suspect.

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