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Weekend aphorisms?

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39 replies

by tobif

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Hello all,
Weekend has started here in Dubai.
So I was doing nothing, when suddenly a computer-related aphorism came upon me.

"You say you don't understand computers - But do the computers understand you?"

Do you have any good aphorisms, more or less nerdy?

39 replies

by nexs

"Computers are only as smart as the person who runs them."

That being said, they are often stupid.

by tobif

Computers are the quickest idiots on earth...

by nexs

I thought this amusing enough to share.

All parts should go together without forcing. You must remember that the parts you are reassembling were dissassembled by you. Therefore, if you can't get them together again, there must be a reason. By all means, do not use a hammer.--IBM maintenance manual, 1925

by purpleskys

Computers are stupid, they only do what you tell them.

and

Computers are stupid, they can only count to one.

by nexs

Now I'm confused!
Should I laugh it the funniness, or should I contend the incorrectness of your claims?!

Such is life's dilemmas.

by nexs

You got me hooked.

The question of whether computers can think is just like the question of whether submarines can swim.--Edsger W. Dijkstra (1930--2002), Dutch computer scientist

by tobif

At least we know that computers usually can't swim. Just a glass of water in the wrong place was enough to justify the purchase of a new laptop recently.

by seanferd

reactions to the latest Kurzweil pronouncements? :D

by nexs

I've never really assumed that computers got particularly thirsty.

Maybe it's all that red cordial I had as a kid...

]:)

by tobif

I know three ways to come out of the (cmd) shell:
- EXIT command
- Click the X (In XP fullscreen, first hit Alt+Enter)
- Start task manager and end the command window application from there.

My mind has wings since long and I try to upgrade them regularly. Do you have any suggestions.

:)

by seanferd

Not mind; yours obviously has wings, and perhaps jet engines. :D

Santee, I believe, is referring to your forum presence.

I'm still trying to figure out how you get a ghost into the shell. (Cue possible Symantec product CLI joke here. I won't be surprised. :p )

by darryl~

They can only count to 1 (binary joke...0 - 1 duh)....I know....bad one :D

by tobif

She squeezed two aphorisms into one post, so I had one thumb left, and you got it :)

by tobif

Is that a joke that is either totally funny or totally sad?

Or is it, a joke that is funny and sad at the same time?

by nexs

None of that 'friendliness' around here.

It will not be stood for.

by purpleskys

have a seat... ;) i don't pick on him too much, just occasionally; I do, afterall, have to live with him. And I do kinda like him, he bought me my nice pc and my pretty car....so....i kinda gotta be nice to him :D

by tobif

But it's not the sand, but the knowledge exactly where to put it...

by purpleskys

that'll teach me eh...next time i'll make sure to use two or more posts :)

by the 'g-man.'

The Human Kind..

The one who smelled it dealt it!

However

The One who denied it supplied it!

Also:

Never gamble more than you can afford to win!

by tobif

Found this in a forum, don't know if it qualifies for a aphorism or is merely a piece of information...

Memory doesn't have any speed. The marking is just a declaration of the speed this memory should be able to handle...

by tobif

One way could be:
"c:\program files\videolan\vlc.exe" c:\data\video\ghost-Zucker-1990.avi
?

by seanferd

Conveniently located offices near you, for all your special needs.

by tobif

Don't be offended. If I'd say that I live in Dubai's "Red Light District", I'm only referring to the fact that most of the skyscrapers have red blinking lanterns on their perimeters for security... :)

by tobif

(This is not about Moore's law)

More's law: For each year, you will need MORE computers to do the same tasks as before!

by nexs

But then, the need for increased computing power comes with more complicated requirements.

by seanferd

:^0

Yes. I've been in one of those as well, with the red light from a small radio mast lighting up my room.

by tobif

Guys (and not only) who have contributed in this topic.

I was thinking I'll try convert this thread into a post for "10 things".
Although they mostly want useful things, occasionally they will accept something funny.

1. Is it ok to mention your contributions and credit you?
2. If yes, should I mention your nicks or real names?
(In case of real names, drop me a PM)

Best
Tobi

by seanferd

to cite any of my silly contributions, either seanferd or Sean is fine. Most people would know me a seanferd, but my full name has been exposed here at least once. :p

Cheers!

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