Most times people are POed they can be "brought down" simply by coming down to their level. Never (and I mean NEVER) talk down to someone. I once saw a tech talking to a client like he was a head master talking to a student. All this succeeded in doing was making the user that much more irate (they felt like an idiot).
The following steps usually do very well in making the user feel like you are trying to understand the problem and will work to remedy the situation to the best of your ability. (It is important not to skip a single step in this process!)
1. Before you diagnose the problem, make sure you understand what it is that the user is truly complaining about. Yes, the system might be down, but if the problem is that they need access to their email for a teleconference starting in an hour, you?re much better off getting them to their email via another system and then fixing the problem machine than you are trying to get their machine to work and making them sweat it out until you are done. Use the concept of ?two ears / one mouth? meaning listen twice as much as you talk. Don?t diagnose quite yet, get down to the problem from the user?s perspective.
2. As silly as it sounds, recognize the problem. This can be as simple as repeating (almost word for word) what the person has just told you. It makes a person feel truly understood. Also, if you didn?t perceive what they said correctly (or they failed to tell you what was truly important to them) they will typically correct you.
3. Give them reassurance that you will do your best to remedy the problem. If the problem was caused by a person, this would be the right time to apologize. Obviously, if you were the cause a simple, ?I?m sorry that X happened. I will take care of correcting the issue,? can go a long way. If someone else was the cause, a say something like, ?I?m sorry that you are experiencing X. I am going to personally take care of correcting the issue,? works well. In any event take ownership of the issue.
4. Set realistic expectations for a resolution. Nothing makes a person even more irate than when they are finally talked down only to be let down yet again. If the problem is something that requires time to resolve, I like to pad a little time into my estimate. This is to make sure that I come in ahead of schedule. Also, it buys me a little extra time if I run into unforeseen complications.
5. Keep your word! Now is not the time to let the ball drop. If you say you are going to do something don?t leave it for someone else to do. This is especially important when dealing with someone who is angry. Remember, you are taking personal ownership of their problem. Your credibility is at stake here.
6. Communicate with the user after the issue is resolved. Make sure that they agree that you have provided the correct remedy. Also, it doesn?t hurt to drop them a quick call the next day to make sure that everything is still ok.
The reason most people become irate is because they don?t feel understood. The steps above will make someone feel like you are making every attempt to get a handle on their issue and move the ball in the right direction toward the proper solution.
By the way, these steps work for technical and non technical issues equally well (family, neighbors, etc)?