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WHAT IS LOVE?

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We sing about it. We write poems about it. We make movies on it. We have pastors who pound podiums, point fingers, stomp feet, and bellow out words about love.

The beat is cool. The rythms are cutesy. The artistic expression is powerful. The pastor puts on a good act. But I still don't know what love is.

Can anyone tell me what love is? Is love a language? Is love an action? Is love nothing more than benevolent data? Is there a dependency of love on space and time? If I dispense it where does it comes from? How do I acquire it? Is there different kinds of love? What in God's name is love?

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by xentity

One of the reasons I asked this question was I went to one of those charismatic Calvary Chapel churches. Now, I am not a fan of churches, let alone a charismatic one, to begin with as the people seem to be pretentious and fake in these places. But I had gone to this place attending sermons and classes over the course of nearly two years.

Originally, I had made a prayer that I was going to this place to learn. They had a somewhat well organized school. What I truly came to know was Jesus Christ. I learned that I thought I was a Christian but I was not. I made the adjustments in my life and truly felt a deep sense of contriteness ? not because of any specific event but in a religious sense.

During this time what bothered me most was a few not-so-pleasing events that transpired at that place. The one thing that stuck out like a sore thumb was there was no love in the Senior Pastor and his wife actions at any point. Sure they ?did? loving things in that church but there was no obvious character of love in him or her personally. It was all superficial.

What was amazing was how he could talk and harp on love but he knew nothing of MATT 5:44. At one point, I became this man?s enemy through happenstance but had no such intentions that were my own.

They acted like the sadducees in character who insisted on the literal execution of the law of retaliation: "Eye for eye, tooth for tooth". They were surrounded by a protective wall with gatekeepers and stood at a distance from people.

They were the anti-thesis of who a watchkeeper is supposed to be. So I have been asking what is love since this time?

By the way, I could remark that I have been telling the entire world, everyone I meet, everywhere I go what I know about this man and woman. I could tell you I will keep doing this until the entire world knows what I know. But this is not the character of love. I know that.

by roc riz

...nothing more than a four letter word, like many that you cannot say on network television.
Also like snow, work, and other problems, too numerous to mention.

by drowningnotwaving

that you can't laff about it either.

Love is all those wonderful things in the Letters to the Corinthians that lots (including my wife and I) had read at our wedding.

But it's also getting drunk and having dirty sex while the kids sleep.

It's blowing the monthly household budget for two front row seats to the Stones last year (sad old $hits that we are ...).

It's a wife who absolutely digs cricket, football and punk rock.

Now THAT's luv.

by xentity

Max, you are always here!

So love is a monster that pokes around indiscriminately?

by xentity

What if love had a clear language as some suggest that involves; quality time, words of affirmation, meaningful gifts, endearing (not erotic) touch, and acts of service.

What if love was really benevolent information that has a dependency on space time?

What if love is a gift given to a human? What if the extent of free will was to determine how to dispense this gift love? What if mature love was the ability to love the giver back?

by jdclyde

Love it the single source of the deepest happiness you can ever feel.

Love is the single source of the feeling of completeness, just having it a part of you.

Love is the single source of the greatest pain you will ever know.

by xentity

It sounds as though love, for you, is how you feel. Is there any part of love that is about someone else?

by xentity

I think love is energy encoded with benevolent information that is directed through space\time. While that sounds rather cold think about it. Every human being is divided by space. Christ, God incarnate, was a separation in space\time of himself created to demonstrate love. This was in fact the greatest commandment; to love God, your neighbor, and your enemy. In order to love someone, the one dispensing the love must travel through space to another being by invading his space in some non-threatening manner to communicate benevolent information. (God is the light, the word, and love or in another view energy, information, and the benevolent). There was a situation where Christ was passing through a village and a woman "touched" his robe. Christ stopped remarked that he felt the energy flow then told the woman her faith had healed her. Why? Perhaps it was the love in the form of energy that flowed.

There is a practical aspect of this. Any human can communicate the benevolent information through touch, words, gifts, service, or presence in time to anyone, anytime, by nearly any technological means. Although effectiveness is greatest in person.

The way I see it that Calvary Pastor could have resolved his issues with me by coming to me (benevolently) to resolve the issues as a peacemaker at the outset of this conflict. I think there could have been a totally different outcome had he acted differently. I can appreciate his anger but instead of controlling rage he chose to make it public and put on a show for the congregation immediately never coming to me once, twice, or even three times. Quite hostile information was sent my way that would affect most people pretty negatively. Fortunately, I am not an ordinary human. I saw this man for who he is and remained confident in who I am. He and his wife are forgiven. I did attempt closest points of approach several times and even took it to the extreme but every effort failed. Not because of me but because of unanswered attempts when reaching out.

This kind of behavior I see constantly everywhere not because of me but there is no difference between Christians and the world for the most part. One watchkeeper of my soul failed at his post. How many more are out there like him?

by tig2

It is an unfortunate reality that there are many people of many religions that are skilled in lip service without being able to live the principles that they espouse. Or perhaps they don't choose to live those principles.

You said in an earlier post that you found yourself in a deeper relationship with God as you sought to know Him more. In other words, you discovered the difference between living your principles and paying lip service to them. Every good Christian I have ever known has challenged themselves to that kind of self discovery. What invariably happens next is that you are able to discover the joy in loving the people around you.

Love by the books is Eros and Agape. Unfortunately, I have never seen a definition of the word that satisfies. It is the descriptive of a state that exists between a man and a woman but equally descriptive of a state that exists between parent and child. Or citizen and country.

To me, love is what you live. If I verbalise one thing and live another, which is the truth? Your former Pastor did as much- and you learned that his words were meaningless when held up against the reality of his actions. Your choice- to not go to that level and to try to heal the rift- is an example of love.

I wish there was an easy answer. There isn't.

by xentity

EROS, according to CS Lewis, is a component or sub-love to natural love. Agape, according to Lewis would most likely be Charity Love. Perhaps if one is behaving in a loving manner then one would not be satisfied but have a sense of bankruptcy. Satisfaction only would come when another loving individual gifts you with love.

As for that Pastor, well, the event that precipated the original conflict was borne out of pure pride on his wife's part. I never knew that a simple "Hello" could be filled with all kinds of prideful or less than humble thoughts in response. I was simply caught off guard and embarrased a little. My biggest mistake was not correcting it on the spot. Had I done that much of the rest could have been corrected. I was in a little shock and walked away asking God what just happened.

One of the curious things that emerged as I attempted to establish contact was the use of manipulative tactics on the Pastors part. He would strategically place my unique language into his opening remarks in some sort of awkward attempt to endear me. He was obviously trained in a variety of psychological methods. Perhaps he would tell you that it was the spirit talking to you. I doubt it. It was clearly a man.

It was quite annoying that this guy was more interested in being a politician \ celebrity than a watchkeeper. His priorities are clearly misplaced. Most likely he will cite every fault of mine and how he believes this or that pointing out that I am not telling the entire story in these post. The truth be known it is not all out because there is no point of going into the details.

Coincidentally, when I discussed my event with several others I learned that there are numerous questionable other things. Unanimously everyone described his wife as not the woman I encountered? And unanimously, everyone I spoke with said this was a common problem that many others had too. Most of those I spoke to did not know the others I was speaking too. I feel there is some sort of confirmation in that something weird is going on in that Church.

In fact, I feel that my presence in that place was not coincidental from how I was guided there to numerous events that occurred while there. I feel as though I was a conduit or some sort of pawn in a much large game that is not my own. There were far too may weird things that happened while there.

I will tell you God is real and Jesus is who he said he is. There is absolutely no doubt.

The entire event deeply charged me to figure out what love is.

by xentity

Thanks Tony. C.S. Lewis in his "Four Loves" dissects love into essentially four components; Gift Love, Dependency Love, Natural Love, and Charity Love.

Gift Love is the love given to each human by God. There is nothing one can do to earn it as it is a Gift.

Dependency Love is the love a child has for the parents or a handicapp person has for his caretaker. A pet has for its owner.

Natural Love includes a variety of sub-loves such as appreciative love for the arts, erotic love between a man and woman, communnal love for family and friends, etc...

Charity love is mature love. It is the ability to love God back.

What C.S. Lewis expressed was a cycle of love that is given to humans then is dispensed in various ways and ultimate flows back to the Giver, God. This may, in fact, be giving to God as he has given to you. Any efforts that dispenses love that does not flow back or returns fouled may be taking from God and then he will take from you as you have taken from him.

The question we must ask is how does love flow as a result of your actions. Basic thoughts should include a love of human life and dispensing love properly. When reconciled with behaviors like abortion or homosexuality the question arises where is the love for the human life that was intended to be formed but does not due to intervention or other selfish actions?

by deadly ernest

Love is when the welfare and comfort of the person you love is more important to you than your own welfare, comfort or safety.

by xentity

Is that easy? I think not. I see people who hate themselves all the time. They get implants, collagen treatments, painted on makeup to ensure they always will look good. I see people who constantly go to shrinks for help with whatever issues prevent love from coming to them. I see people buying big homes and expensive cars to lure those who may adore them. Most people want some one to just love them.

How can inter beauty be seen if clouded by out junk? I can see the love in a person by looking at ones face as people wear the soul on their faces. In time, it burns in like a phosporous burn. Most of the time, I even know the mask a person wears. Especially, if they modify themselves surgically or forcefully train themselves.

I think virtuous love is confident love that flows outward. Love is not something to reap or harvest. Love is something akin to pollenation. The spirit of the wind blows through and lofts the seeds of love outward to those in need. The needy do not harvest love but rather are being stirred up bending to and fro by the wind that takes care of their needs in the mix of whisp. The human pollenator may never be known but the treasure of the action would be stored up for later recovery.

by roc riz

...there are five fingers!

But seriously, you can look at the other side, at narcissism, and see it as a dangerous form of self-love. It is easy to confuse those who claim to hate themselves, and go through artificial beautification processes, as really being narcissistic.

And about buying big, and/or fancy cars, I only think that it is a substitute for inadequate genitalia.

Just my eleventy-three cents.

by dmambo

You know it when you see it.

If you have to ask strangers to define it for you, then I would think that all the words in the language will not help you understand what it is.

Good luck on your quest to understand.

by jdclyde

there is a LOT of love found in porn! Mostly spent love, but love nother-the-less. :0

by xentity

speech, comprehension, or even the ability to see. However, the character of love is something that can be sensed.

I find it curious that so many qualify love as something pornographic, sexual, given to them, or something they do to themselves. Few talk about their own ability to love in the other direction.

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