My only response is some people are able to deal with their problems as they find more important things to focus their lives on, some are no so fortunate or just never find that avenue they seek. This is also why I feel gateway drugs are gateway drugs. I don' tactually believe that starting one drug recreationally will mean you will become a drug users of heavier substances.
HOWEVER, people who seek drugs to escape find themselves needing stronger and stronger driugs to escape as they become used ot the effects and find less relief.
Personal: I have had a few additctions, smoked pot for years as a teen but that wasn't addictive, did a lot of acid/LSD in high school (when it was still good)and also got into a couple of the most addictive drugs around, I did freebase a lot of coke in the 80's but never go into crack (poor man's base/coke). I did MDA (which is now considered cocaine, which is such low grade crap it isn't worth the time or effort, even the people claiming it is pure have no idea what PURE flake used to be like)I got into coke twice, once when working on tour with a band, almost inevitable and once when I was making good money and hanging out with very successful and rich entrepreneurs who could afford teh habit and seemed to have it to a point where they could control intake and just keep a glow going instead of being too wrecked to get anything done. BOTH times I am happy to sya that I was VERY lucky to get out wihle I did and get out alive. most people are nto so lucky, funny enough I just can't kick smoking cigars though, grrrrrrr!
I have had several friends die from drugs, one who suffered a near fatal heart attack while we were all basing in his bedroom. that was a buzz when we were all at the hospital!
I thonk it is really completely up to the person to decide when they have had enough. Unfortunately some people don't escape and end up takign or losing their lives ,which is really just sad as we do have teh resources to help people IF we can get them to use the resources.
As for 12 step programs, they are all crap. They simply work for those people who WANT them to work and for everyone else, it's a waste of time. th epart that bugs me about 12 steps, especially AA for example, is the first thing you have to do is believe in God or in other programs HAVE FAITH in a higher spirit. now the first example is actually a breach of Constitutional rights. AA is a government supported and recommended program, even many employers suggest using it. But since when are the government allowed to recommend and support a religious affiliation? Why should my employer force me to find faith in his God in order to stay employed?
for this reason and many others, I don't buy into 12 step programs at all, I think if someone wants to quit they will. If a support group is what you need to keep your spirits up (no pun intended)then perhaps it is for you, but the government and employers should not make you attend as an ultimatum to prison or being fired, though the employer can be biased and the government cannot.
I am sorry for your loss, no you will never really make sense of it but you can learn to accept it as an inevitable way out of the pain she was not able to endure, I've had it close to me too.
Just e strong yourself and don't give up. Every time I schmooez with rich friends they always offer me a line or two to lighten the mood, which I now turn down but I had to physically leave the room before. I don't drink much anymore, hard alcohol especially because I saw what it did ot my father. My father went from being a man with many trades skills and qualifications, great paying jobs and was a great father into being a drunk. Sure he still worked and still had his skillset, but he was still a pisstank as soon as he left the shop. Unfortunately my mother caught the hsort end of that stick one night and we left right there and then. Mom's a trooper that doesn't take that no matter what is said later.
But she's better off, from what I hear he has his life together now, I am better off, my whole family worked out just fine, or as fine as any screwed up group of kinfolk can be.
It's what we learn as we move forward that makes us stronger, reflection and remebrance is great, just don't forget to keep looking forward as you go.
