... my answer won't be approved.
My reference point is my "head and heart". Into those things have gone all the people I've met, spoken to and learned from, and the things I've read and things I've seen.
Some of those things have been taken as examples of what TO do, and others as examples of what NOT to do.
A very fine gentleman once said that, in his opinion (although please accept my lack of reference if this is quoting some other famous identity) . . .
"You know when you're doing the right thing: You don't feel the need to either hide it from (or apologise about it to) your partner, family and/or close friends."
Now, how would this make me any different to you?
If I interpret what you have said, your reference point is probably very similar but lays (heavily?) upon a certain interpretation of the christian Bible.
I just wouldn't accept a pre-defined, "balck and white" (although the subject of conjecture on that point!!) criteria for right or wrong . I do accept it as one of many inputs. And I certainly accept your right to do use it. No worries.
It means, for example, that I can try to judge on individual circumstance (accepting of course that my own circumstance must, by definition, imply a bias of some kind).
In applying this to our other digression re homosexuality:
So, when I work, live, share dinners, go out partying or go on vacations with gay people I don't have to look at the person in front of me and think "Well you're okay - it's just all the other fags that are the problem". I can actually judge their humanity, contribution and existence on the manifold things they do, rather than their sexuality.
And unless you live in a vacuum, I would suggest it is physically impossible for you not to have had encounters with gay people for whom you have respect and participate cooperatively. Whether or not you would know that they are 'gay' is actually quite irrelevant. Given the high level of prejudice and bias it is no coincidence that many choose to keep their sex lives to themselves.
My personal experience with people such as yourself (with regards this particular topic) is that thay have indeed worked with, lived with, went to college with, shared in some sort of way a meaningful an happy relationship with gay individuals. And the straight people happily 'concede' that the gay person in front of you was fine. Hence my reference above. It's just the "other ones" that are the problem.
I am not sure that those who wrote the bible meant to disassociate or disenfranchise massive percentages of the population from the main story of love, equality, fairness and the "do not unto others" bit.
And every single gay person I have met (and had a relationship close enough to discuss such an intimate topic with) are certain that they became aware of their sexuality at the same time I became aware of mine.
I cannot say that this conclusively points to a biological reason or proof, but anecdotally it works for me.
And whilst there are people of every single persuasion who at certain times I'd probably like to bludgeon into shape, I can't see why that is even a criteria for discussion about a person's sexuality.
To paraphrase a particularly famous Australian sporting identity - "as long as they're not shoving their genitals down my throat" anyone can do whatever he or she wants.
It isn't need, cause or justification for behavioural modification.