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A new NASTY email virus

By maxwell edison ·
If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only area code 900 numbers. This virus is so bad, it will even mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the "Bedtimes" message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.


And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you. Send this warning to everyone!!!

THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD! Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!! And look at you - you're on the computer!!!!

I thought I'd give you a heads-up.


NOTE: Maxwell Edison cannot take the credit for writing this. But whoever did, kudos to you.

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There are people taking this seriously!

by neilb@uk In reply to A new NASTY email virus
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by Jessie In reply to There are people taking t ...

Will the moronity never stop continuing?!?!?!

Actually, I have an uncle who sends me things like this all the time... in all seriousness... of course, this is the same guy that believes GWB is looking out for his best interests and that evolution is a God-given fact!

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Sorry, its the Swiss.

by neilb@uk In reply to A new NASTY email virus

Absolutely no sense of humour.

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Don't forget...

by Salamander In reply to A new NASTY email virus

...this virus also puts your good cashmere sweaters in the dryer. The silver lining is that your small pets and any Barbie dolls in the vicinity will have new clothes.

It also reprograms your VCR to tape nothing but the Jerry Springer show.

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Thanks Max

by Oz_Media In reply to A new NASTY email virus

I woke up this morning to a messy house and a floor full of dirty clothes. I was about to start scolding myself for not keeping up, then I read this! PHEW!!!!!

So, I called Molly Maid to see if they had any removal tools, they said they did but didn't offer any demo's, I had to pay for it in order to try it out (so much for cracking it for an hours usage).

They offered to send a consulting team by, but the last time I accepted, they sent a carload of people trying to sell me on vaccuums and household cleaners.

I tried every cleaner I could find, including AdAware, Spybot etc. Still no help, laundy is piled up and dishes are STILL dirty, it didn't even empty my trash or clean up the cookie crumbs.

So as I am determined not to spend money on something I am sure I will only use once a year, I am seeking other solutions.

I visited Google groups, nobody voounteered to help! I wonder how many tech points it would take?

I think I will just put up with it for the time being and if it gets too bad, I can always just find a new place to live, perhaps an 'Open House', I hear they invite more community support and often cost less than the propritary ones do.

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OZ if things get too bad

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Thanks Max

You can always call the TV Stations and plead ignorant and the victim of circumstance.

They will arrange for a cleaning crew to come out from the council gratis and most likely even start off a country wide collection for you.


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Pleading ignorant would be the easy part

by Oz_Media In reply to OZ if things get too bad

Trying to disguise my voice so they didn't recognize me and call the police would be the trick. :)

Countywide collection? Perhaps to send me home. :)

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OZ if they where that desperate

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Pleading ignorant would b ...

They would just throw you in the nearest stretch of water connected to the ocean and prod you with an electric cattle prod every time you attempted to get out of the water.

Actually those things really do work I used one on an apprentice once and I've never seen him move so fast.


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Thank (your savor) for AOL

by tbragsda In reply to A new NASTY email virus

Just installed that new improved AOL 10^. Im safe.

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by Jaqui In reply to Thank (your savor) for AO ...

didn't you know it's embedded in aol?
has been since version .00005

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