Age difference

I'm 24 and I prefer men twice my age. It's what is on the inside that counts. Age means nothing.

I'd say that anything up to a 75 year age difference is acceptable. ;). If both parties are over 25 then what gives anyone else the right to judge them?

.
Your age, divided by two, plus 7.

(This only works if you're over 22.)

If you're 50:

Divided by 2 = 25

Plus 7 = 32.

50 year old guy, 32 year old woman.

40 year old guy, 27 year old woman.

60 year old guy, 37 year old woman.

And if you're a "Demi Moore" type woman, I suppose the same could apply, but in reverse.

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However, that's just what I've been told.

For me, I suppose the perfect age would be the exact age of the perfect woman, whatever that may be.

Can you have a conversation, that's both of you talking in turn, some people get confused on that point.
A big age gap, of course you have to deal with the fact at some point physical attraction will disappear for one party, being able to talk to each other becomes very important at that point.

Remember; a man is only as old as the woman he feels.

I'm of the mind set that [i]age ain't nothing but a number[/i]! But that's just me. If you're both consenting adults, what's the problem? In my state at the age of 18 you're an adult! You can vote, join the military, etcetera.

I don't want to come across at tootin my own horn, but I've had 19 year olds interested in me, and I'm 40. But they thought I was in my late 20's:)

My best live-in relationship was with a girl 20 years younger than myself. She was of course very mature emotionally and intellectually for her age (actually jail-bait at the time).

My most enduring relationship -- intimate at first and later platonic -- has been with a woman 16 years my senior. She turned 80 this year. We have not had an argument in the 33 year span of our relationship.

At my current age of 64, I would prefer a girl aged 25 or less. Not just because of the physical appeal, but because she will not have had time to accumulate heavy emotional baggage.

For a light-hearted view on the matter, I cannot resist posting the lyrics of a song I wrote many years ago.

FICKLE MAN

I?ve loved many a girl
In my years of wandering around
But I?ve yet to meet the one
That could make me settle down
Blonde and brunette, redhead too
I?ve loved them all I guess
But I?ve yet to meet the one
Who means more than the rest

CHORUS:
I?m a fickle man
It?s hard to pin me down
I like women, tall or short
Yellow, white or brown
But I hope the day will come
When my roving eyes can rest
And I meet someone who ties me down
And builds a little nest

From Argentine to Canada
From Bombay to Moscow
I?ve loved all kinds of women and
Although I do say so
I haven?t been too bad at it
And yet I wander on
Still looking for the perfect one
Who really turns me on

From sweet sixteen to sixty four
And all years in between
From socialite to truckies? moll
From slut to beauty queen
I?ve even loved some persons
I won?t mention in this song
?Cause it ain?t always legal, though
I don?t think it is wrong.

Demi Moore, aged 42, with three children to Bruce Willis and two magnificent silicon implants, has married Ashton Kutcher, aged 27.

I am personally looking to trade my 39 in for a 20 and a 19! I warned her that she was still under warranty!

seriously though, age means nothing as long as you connect. I would never consider much younger than that 25 mark as they generally don't know much about life yet. Get a 21 year old and they are just discovering the bars and will shortly see that all the drunks will be sniffing around and they can have their pick for the night.

Find someone with some maturity..
[b]
If this girl is interested, then YOU are the only one that needs to like her. Don't let others judge for you and pass up on happiness for yourself. [/b] Your daughter will be just fine after she gets used to the idea of Dad dating.

Hope you find what your looking for.

Many people want to have their own family. If she wants kids, is that something you are willing to go through again? I know that I have no intention of EVER having more kids!

If that long term isn't an issue or having kids with her isn't an issue, full steam ahead.

Start taking your vitamins!

That's like asking if it's ok for a Democrat to date a Republican. Your question not for anyone else to decide. I'm surprised that you actually think there is a cut-off barrier for age differences in a relationship. Personally, if I had a 20-yr old kid, I'd feel really strange dating a 25-yr old. It would be even worse if I had a 25-yr old kid and I wanted to date a 20-yr old. That's just my opinion though. I don't have any kids so I have no self-imposed "don't go there" age limit. It would depend on maturity, similar interests and compatibility. The usual stuff you'd look for in dating anyone.

I think BFilm Fan gets double points for being a computer geek and a film geek.

James

I gave up looking for the perfect man. now all I want is an intelligent man who won't treat me bad, will have some level of respect for me, doesn't mind that I have a kid and do not want another one, has a job, and likes to get between the sheets. Haven't found one yet.

too bad indeed. ha ha. But I'm against the idea of marriage. I think if two people want to commit themselves to eachother, they don't need the state to approve. I'm more into the reception part. celebrate the love between two people with a bunch of friends having fun and getting drunk.

Two women? You're having an affair? You blonde-haired blue-eyed gigolo surferdudes are all alike. :|

for that vague look into something not quite right. :)

is to expect that they can make their mate change to suit their desires. No matter how much you think you can get your betrothed to meet your requirements, it's very unlikely to happen. The key, IMHO, is to make the decision to change yourself or to otherwise adapt to the traits that you find less than perfect. Unfortunately, that's a mature decision that many in their early 20's, the prime gettin' hitched years, either don't recognize or will not make.

(Mark, please understand that this is a general observation on my part. I do not mean to imply that this was a root problem in your marriage.)

....so far, I could never dig my way out. Isn't there a straight, unmarried man out there?
HELLO?
Any one?
Bueller? Bueller? (and even Ben Stein is married!)
oh well.

to a perfect 30 footer that kept the tube open all the way to the beach (ouch)... couldn't break back out of it (was in the tube)... and it pile drove me into the pyramid rock beach (more crushed coral and lava than sand) and pummeled me with 50 or 60 tons of water... when I came to, I had a "whole body raspberry", a concussion and a bruised liver... I moved back to the mainland shortly thereafter (actaully before I was completely healed), and haven't been on a board since... (except for a wake board)...

What are you, a sissy? haha :^O Hell, I was in Butte, Montana once during an earthquake. A whole freakin' skyscraper came tumbling down on my hard-as-kevlar head. I cooly weathered the avalanche of concrete and steel, whisked the dust off my broad, sturdy shoulders and made it to the rodeo in time to manhandle four 3000-lb bulls to the dirt. :D

it was 4 bulls... I think it was probably not more than 3 hahaha... (I couldn't reply to your last one, "max levels")

to provide links to your sources to support your claim. :D

That is why I am the oldest person in the mosh pits at ozfest and such. Someone has to get in there and show the young punks how a MAN does it!

I don't remember for sure. I got my bell rung pretty good. By the bulls, not from the building falling on me. And I got gored a few times, too. Bulls are crazy when you piss 'em off. But if it was only three of the damn beasts, then they each weighed 4000 lb apiece instead of the aforementioned skinny-ass 3000 lb.

I have a niece, a beautiful young woman, who had a horrific childhood and has a terrible self image problem. At 18, she started dating a man from her church who was 40 at the time. Sure, it was LEGAL, but in my mind, he will always be a pedophile, looking for a barely legal young woman who he could control. Thank God the relationship ended. My second husband was nearly 10 years older than me. When we first married, the age difference didn't seem to make a difference, but shortly after, he just got old. I played my music too loud, or it wasn't appropriate for the children. (Okay, nine inch nails music isn't entirely appropriate for kids, but I only listened to them when they weren't in the house). I dressed wrong, my hair should be shorter (more age appropriate)...blah blah blah. I don't know if it was the age difference, or if he just turned into a putz over night. My younger sister married a man 8 years her junior. He agreed that they should have kids early on, then after the wedding, decided he wanted to wait. She had her first child 3 years ago at age 35 and is now considering that a second child would be to risky at her age. Her husband still spends most of his free time playing computer games. She's more like his mother than his wife. (Then again, they're both kind of wierd). I guess the point to this rambling is if you enter a relationship with a significant age difference, there are more than likely going to be issues that are directly related to that significant difference. Of course, there will be issues in ANY relationship that have to be worked through, ignored or tolerated, I just think a big age difference adds another layer to the work it takes to maintain a good relationship.

I'm sure you'd reciprocate :-)...

I knew it was only 3... but i'll concede on the 4000 lbs... anyone with a kevlar dome could handle at least 6 tons... haha...

I should have preferenced my last surfing adventure with the fact that I had no business taking on one that size in the first place, as I frequently got beat up pretty good by much smaller ones :-)... I think that was God's way of telling me to cut it out before I did some permanent damage :-)

You don't tell ITgirli, Jessie, or other ridiculing people...you won't have to be scorned for any age difference.

I made that mistake once...and I got flamed.

I guess women don't have confidence that there are other women who are younger than themselves that can be as mature.

or maybe it's denial? :D

(that's gonna stir the hornet's nest)

By the way, can TR be upgraded to include pics in posts? The photos of this girl would blow your mind.

Anyhow through a matchmaking website I was contacted by this utterly stunning 25-year-old Russian girl, Elana. She was planning to come to Australia on a temporary visa, and suggested that we might live together if we got on OK.

Her emails were so open and spontaneous that I really believed that all my fantasies were about to be fulfilled.

I started thinking of the various ways my lifestyle would change with this unbelievably gorgeous creature sharing my apartment. Ah, what blissful fantasies I had.

After flying from some remote town near Siberia, she arrived in Moscow and sent me fresh photographs of herself beside famous landmarks. She was staying temporarily with friends in Moscow and was very excited about the trip to Sydney.

She sent me her flight plan and a photo of her passport to assure me she was on her way. But alas, at the last minute she "discovered" that she had to pay for a return airfare to Sydney in order to get a visa and didn't have enough money.

I was so besotted that I offered to send the money but I never heard from her again and I will never know what changed her mind.

It seemed too good to be true and I guess it was just that. But oh wow ! What a delicious fantasy while it lasted !

A gorgeous figure on a deaf , dumb and blind woman, whose Dad owns a pub.

has given you a good head start on the creeping out!

How would you be able to be a minister in my little duchy, when you're already King Geek of the entire TR realm?

haha Yeah I agree with you on the maturity thing. I'd rather act half my age (and I usually do). The sucky thing about growing "old" is that people expect you to act "old". You can't get away with most of the crap you pulled when you were 20 yrs younger.

On the age limits, I have a saying: "18 to 80; blind, crippled or crazy". There's more to it (a damn good punchline, I might add) that I don't think I should say in a public forum. ;)

He was twelve when she was born :-)... that's even kreepier than him being younger than you... haha

(I'd just not ask about the dad :-))

I was wondering if anyone would catch the bit about the 12-year old dad. surfer, you just earned four (4) TechPoints. haha!

I'd never take a chance opportunity with any woman I don't know...18 or 80...period.

OK...well...maybe with a fifth of whiskey in me...yeah...but, I wouldn't be able to think. :D

As for pros and cons of 18 year old women: I can agree that most every 18 year old women are too immature for me and haven't lived. However, I'd never go about saying there's not an 18 year old who hasn't already been through the ringer and knows what she wants out of life. That'd just be like saying you can't find a smart woman under 25. It has nothing to do with age. Maturity, like knowledge, is built over time and different people acquire it at various rates.

What are the chances of me dating an 18 year old woman? Slim to none. But, I'll never say never.

Right now the two women I have interest in are 29 and 31, both have professional careers, are intelligent, sensible, and aren't always looking to prove themselves dominate.

Needless to say if I meet a pretty, sensible PhD candidate in Chemistry who is looking for some "chemistry"...I wouldn't be opposed to dinner and a walk on the beach. :)

as it isn't the daughter of someone you know. THAT would be awkward (to say the least).

Other hands-off rules.
Never the sister/mother/daughter of a friend.

The EX of a friend is also asking for trouble, depending on if you VALUE that friend. If not, then he wasn't really a friend in the first place. More of an aquaintance.

I think I would have a problem with the 80 year old if she wasn't VERY rich and had a weak heart.

Last place I worked, a co-worker was married to a woman much older. People would ask him if that was his mom at the company picnic, not knowing it was his wife. Of the rest of us would end up choking on whatever we were eating/drinking at the time and find it MUCH funnier than he did.

Everytime that would happen, he would be subject to "mom" jokes. Would his mom let him stop for a beer on the way home? blah blah blah. :D

the ex of a friend isn't a bad thing...as long as they've been apart and have found someone else.

If they're you're friend and they've continued on with life, they're not gonna mind you dating someone they dated.

This actually depends on a few things.

First, many people have differnt definitions of the word "Friend". They confuse "Aquantances" with "Friends".

I have a lot of people I am friendly with and will chat if I run into them. That is not a friend (to me)

A friend is someone that knows they can come to me in the middle of the night, ask anything and know they will get it. I have three people in my life that fit that bill and trust them unconditionally. I would not EVER throw that kind of friendship away over going out with a woman.

It also depends on how and why they broke up. If there are still feelings either good OR bad, it would come between my friendship.

That is not a hard choice to me. Matter of fact, it isn't even a question to have to think it over about.

Different people just have different ideas about such things and the value of friendship.

I've had friends that I've seen do the birddoggin' thing (not to me, but to 3rd party friends)and have it bite them in the butt later on. Some guys simply cannot control their thinking in this manner. When you see it done, it sure influences the level of trust that you have. On the other hand, there are guys that, even after they've made the break, can't let go of an ex-flame, even when thay say they have. Best advice is to stay away from a buddy's ex-squeeze.

But really, it depends on the individual circumstances. I've actually had a friend ask permission. In that case, I warned him off for his own good, and he wisely took my advice. It's amazing how powerful the words "Stay away from that f***ing psycho" can be!

Years ago I dated one of my friend's x-girlfriends. It was pretty uncomfortable when the three of us were at the same place. I'm not sure I could do something like that again. Crap, this conversation is starting to depress me. I have narrowed the list of eligible females to those who are single or divorced, over 18, under 80, no X's of friends...not many left after you put those filters on the talent pool.

Although you have brought up just about everything else.

1. Somebody mentioned the awkwardness of the age difference as you grow older. Uh, very few relationships last longer than two years, so statistically that's just not likely to be a problem. If yours is the exception, you're each the person of each other's dreams, and you want to get married? Geeze, be glad you found each other and be grateful for however long fate lets you have each other in good health. I've known a depressingly large number of people who weren't big risk-takers who frelling DIED before they turned 50! Living long enough to need a walker will be just fine.

2. You all keep talking about finding the "perfect person" to settle down with. Excuse me, but a good marriage isn't about FINDING the right person. It's about BEING the right person!

M_a_r_k... those filters don't apply in S. Fla... most of the guys are simply trying to figure out how to keep their relationships from getting too serious so than can continue to play the field... It's quite a field down here ;-)

There are always mail-order brides! Just think how that opens the pool back up? Time to go swimming in the deep end! And you don't have to worry about them being a friends EX! :)

Seriously though, I could not see the getting together with a friend and his EX. Not if they had anything significant going on at any point.

And as Mambo pointed out, even if a guy SAYS they are over someone it doesn't mean we want this person around. Broke up for a reason. Most guys are just too macho to admit it when things bother them.

I am thinking a mute would be nice..... :D

I'm somewhat surprised we haven't seen any mail-order brides for sale on eBay yet. Not that I've looked. ;) I'm not that desperate yet.

I dated a girl many years ago who was mute (and deaf)... she spent a lot of time around me writing things down... she was very beautiful, and very sensitive... she dumped me with the excuse that my ability to sign was on the order of "retarded"... :-)... I have to admit it was a difficult relationship... but only because I couldn't handle it... she could read lips flawlessly... and never had a problem knowing what was going on at parties etc.... of all the girls who've dumped me for valid (and invalid) reasons... I think I miss her the most...

Well, my girlfriend is 9 years younger than I - I'm 57 - so far it's working out well. If I can ever convince her to marry me, she will instantly go from Mom to Great-Grandmother (I think that is putting her off a bit) as my oldest's son's wife is due in December. Her "baby" is 16 while my son is 15.

Hey ITGirli - ever go out with somebody whose kids are older than you???

jdg

Heavy-duty coil. GearWorks custom tranny. A little head-work . . .

Hehe

Inquiring minds want to know.

Did you pass up on this chance to be happy with someone based on what other people would think or not?

Is it working?

Are you happy?

After the kick in the head you got, you deserve some happy time now!

dat aint cool leave it alnoe