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Creative Uses For Office Supplies

By Tig2 ·
Have you ever wondered about the ubiquitous items that you interact with on a daily basis? Do they have any other purpose in life than to support your corporate need to satisfy silliness inflicted on you by id10t bosses who are satisfying silliness inflicted on them?

I propose this as an alternate use theory...

We are all well aware of the issues that surround workplace violence. It is never acceptable to club your co-workers with ... well- a club. But what if you use ... say- a printer. Or a notebook. Or a computer? I think that in that case, what you have is a workplace accident. And consider the time savings here. The printer goes TU for the 15th time, you need the document spooled to memory that it refuses to print, you have already cleared multiple paper jams. Are you a tad frustrated? Darned right you are! And in the midst of your ire, some id10t co-worker wanders by and gives you a hard time about being an IT professional who can't even print a simple document.

What to do, what to do.

Simply pick up the printer and give the offending co-worker a sharp tap on ... oh say, the head with it. Is this workplace violence? I propose that it is not. A printer is an office supply. Office supplies are everywhere in the environment. Therefore, it is an accident.

And consider the cost savings. No more expensive visits to the pshrink over silly "anger management" problems. Why? Well, problem solved, of course!

I know that frustrations abound out there. What are you feeling and what office supply would be the best vehicle for expressing yourself? I know there is creativity in the tech world. Let it run rampant! :)


Edited because I found typos... finally

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better yet

by Jaqui In reply to Creative Uses For Office ...

throw the printer at the windows behind the miscreant, when the printer bounces off his head you can vent on him for getting in the way of you doing your job. ]:)

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OK strictly speaking this isn't the same thing but

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Creative Uses For Office ...

A mate who works for the State Government here in the Health Department told me this story.

The Big Boss wanted a Laser printer moved so she didn't have to walk so far to get her printed work. Well it did mean a trip up 1 floor so it sort of made sense I suppose. The so called Tech instructed to move the 50 ppm Laser Printer was told not to use the single elevator in the building but to take it down the steps so as to avoid congestion. He dutifully lifted this monster of a printer down and slid a trolley under it tipped if up and began to move the printer. He didn't think to bother to actually strap the printer to the trolley so at the first step it bounced off the trolley down a flight of steps destroying itself on the way.

I'll not bother mentioning the two civilians who where walking up the steps for exercises they just got run over by the now out of control printer which was still picking up speed. The railings which where keeping the bulk of it on the stairs took a real pounding as well and are still bent out of shape today. :^0

It eventually cane to rest after proceeding down 3 flights of stairs into the car park where it embedded itself in the side of the car of the person who demanded it moved. Well what was left of it at least. :0

Now this was a complete write off and even today about 18 months latter they are still finding bits and pieces of this printer in the gardens and car park. The person who was responsible for demanding it moved was so over budget that they didn't have the necessary funds to replace it so they got it repaired as that came out of a different budget and they could have bought 3 New Printers of the same Model with change for what they paid to have it repaired. Even today the printer is looking worse for wear and fails to work properly but because of the amount of money spent on it they can not replace it for another 3 years. ?

Now the costs involved in this fiasco 2 Civilians injured severely who settled out of Court for the Injuries that they sustained, one severe amount of damage to the Bosses car which the Department paid to have fixed and finally what effectively amounted to the cost of 3 equivalent print rs sitting on the same desktop no longer working properly and now has a companion standing beside it all day to clear paper jams. That added the position for another Bureaucrat. X-(

Now the staff there when they want something new destroy the item and when asked say that the Tech Responsible for the above fiasco attempted to move the broken unit and this is how it ended up. He isn't even a Tech just a Gofer who was given the position of an IT Tech so that, that part of the budget would be spent and without any qualifications he's called an IT Tech.

It's really good to see the Government saving our money in ways like this.

Col ]:)

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Holy Moley!

by Tig2 In reply to OK strictly speaking this ...

I know that the story is true- it is too ridiculous to NOT be true! But almost impossible to believe.

For any sane mind. Please note that I am excluding Government minds...

Thanks for sharing!

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oooohhhh that gives me ideas ]:)

by Jaqui In reply to OK strictly speaking this ...

throw pesky co-workers down the stairs!!!!

oooohhh I'm a liking this. ]:)

I'm really liking this ]:) ]:)

~eyes starting to glow with an evil light~

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no no..

by Shellbot In reply to OK strictly speaking this ...

your not looking at the big picture Jaq!! Are you with me on this?

OFFICE STATIONARY OLYMPICS!!

think of the possibilities!
Racing printers, scanner toss, scissor javelin, post-it discus, why the possibilities are endless.

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and you can't leave out the

by heml0ck In reply to no no..

ubiquitous "Cable Pull."

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I'm no longer allowed to pull cable. :_|

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to and you can't leave out t ...

The last run that I pulled ended up tied as a hangman's noose around a neck of an apprentice and hung from the main support structure in the suspended ceiling. Man that was a hard cable to pull there was so much weight on it that I had to bring one of the 4 Wheel Drives to the door and use the winch on the front of it. But ever since I haven't been allowed to pull any cable.

But that would be a good Tug Of War with one person attempting to keep their neck straight and all the Tech staff pulling the cable. :^0

Someone could also soup up the WiFI to actually Fry the desired End User with High Energy RF from the directional antenna that they carry around with them.

Col ]:)

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oooh, scissor javelin

by goal120 In reply to no no..

Where do I sign up?

I wonder what event could be done with zip ties?

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IT roping

by jaguar182 In reply to oooh, scissor javelin

kind of like calf roping but using the IT person instead..:)

EDIT: umm the useless IT person that messes up working computers that is...

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DVD discuss..

by Jaqui In reply to no no..

better chance it will slice someones head off. ]:)

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