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by craig herberg

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The following is a verbatim discussion with a Wall Street Journal customer service representative:

Me: My paper has been delivered erratically over the past week.

WSJ: Define "erratically."

Me: Last Thursday it didn't come at all. On Friday and Monday it was delivered only to the other side of the bridge, and the Monday edition was someone else's. Tuesday, I received Thursday's missing issue.

WSJ: What bridge?

Me: The bridge leading to my home.

WSJ: Is it a toll bridge? Is it dangerous to leave papers there?

Me: It's a small bridge I own that accesses my property.

WSJ: Is it safe?

Me: I've driven over it 40,000 times. Fire engines can cross it. 18-wheelers have crossed it.

WSJ: But is it safe?

Me: Yes

WSJ: Okay, then why was someone else standing on it on Monday?

Me: No one was there on Monday.

WSJ: You said, "Someone else had a paper there on Monday."

Me: No, no, the paper belonged to someone else.

WSJ: Do other people use the bridge? Perhaps they are taking your paper.

Me: The paper has always been delivered to my door.

WSJ: Well, is the bridge new?

Me: NO!!!

WSJ: Sir, there is no need to become angry. We will credit you with a full week's extension on your subscription. Is that satisfactory?

Me: Yes, okay.

WSJ: Please be advised that we can't guarantee future deliveries until you get the bridge fixed.

22 replies

by jessie

Are you SURE this isn't an Abbott and Costello routine? LOL! I'm sure that was frustrating, but DAMN, that's funny!

by craig herberg

that it's not a true story. I did post a fake Abbott and Costello routine, titled "Buying a Computer." TGIF.

by hal 9000

The Tattoo has to be on your stomach so you can watch it expand and eventually contract again.:)

I know I'm nasty but that's just me. :D

Col ]:)

by deepsand

I believe him, because, if I simply change the names of companies, the service to be provided, etc., it's eerily like an ON-LINE "call" that I made fairly recently to Verizon Tech. Support re. my DSL Router/Bridge, which began with the "are you sure it's turned on" question, and went downhill from there.

Did they think that I was using a tin can & string for my i-net connection?

by craig herberg

It seems that a lot of companies are cut from the same bolt of cloth. Perhaps they should change the name of their call center to "Customer Contempt."

by deepsand

After all, if you can't rely on WSJ Cust. Svc. to evaluate its condition, then who?

by craig herberg

With all the recent rain, the bridge has been washed out. WSJ is sending a bridge salesman first thing Monday am.

by deepsand

Your post here reminds me of why it is that I now read the WSJ at the library, rather than at home; at the library, there's likely to be at least a portion of it to be found.

I did, however, need to learn to avoid one library in particular, located in a predominately Jewish township. (No offense intended guys; I'm just reporting the facts.)

by hal 9000

That it would be a better description than the one that they currently have don't you? :)

I just love the way it is expected by the "Customer Support" person that they know far more about a problem than you ever could hope to understand and you being one of the unwashed masses are calling them just to annoy them with stupid requests when you can not be bothered to read the installation procedures that they went to so much trouble to send you in the first place. It doesn't matter that the printed bit of paper that tells you to read first has no reference to page XYZ of the book but tells you to use a CD that comes with the Modem/Router which has absolutely nothing at all to do with the installation but is connected to the cheaper unit with the USB connection which you didn't get. :D

After all you are supposed to know the difference and when the ISP provides you with something more than the printed book that comes with the Modem/Router you naturally know that it doesn't apply to the unit but to something that you have not got and you never read the books anyway so they could just take them out of the package when they put in the piece of paper. :p

Col ]:)

by deepsand

If you do succeed in getting past the initial "there is such model no." reply, you're then told that either there is none, or it is not available to end-users!

by craig herberg

Sorry to take so long to get back to you. I was waiting for the bridge salesman to arrive from Bangalore.

The person I originally spoke with identified himself as "G," but I heard someone in the background address him as "Mr. Marx."

by jessie

Tattooing on stretch marks would NOT be pretty!

My husband, when I was pregnant with our daughter 4 years ago, was designing a sci-fi gaming level, thought it'd be cool to take a picture of my stretch-marked belly and use it as a "wall" texture. The other guys on his design team thought that might be a "little" much.

by hal 9000

But you did leave yourself open for that one didn't you? :D

I can just imagine what was going through your mind when you read my post. :p

Col ]:)

by jessie

I wasn't really wondering about you when I was reading that post... pregnancy tends to make all female bodily functions and parts fair game and open for discussion.

by hal 9000

Since I'm the other side of the pond I can say things that I would never consider saying to any female closer to home as I have at the very least to live near them.

Even my sister still gives me heaps because I never went over there when she was pregnant and while my story is it just wasn't safe even "She Who Must Be Obeyed" agrees with me on that one so I can not be all wrong. :D

My youngest is this year turning 29 and I still am getting heaps about what I did wrong when "She Who Must Be Obeyed" was pregnant with the second one and for that matter the first one as well who is turning 31 this year. :(

Honestly I would have got a far shorter sentence if I had of just killed her in the first place when she told me she was pregnant. :p

Col ]:)

by ma.merdekah

This is another classic account of a transactiona between a customer and a customer service representative. Many times, it's the customer who is made to appear silly or even foolish. As a customer, I'd hate to be put in a situation like that. That's why I wish companies monitor their representatives well, and truly give value to every transaction with their customers.

~Meikah
http://custserv.gbwatch.com
http://www.sixsig.info

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