After Hours

Ask something
Discussion Locked

Dating Tips for Geeks

0 helpful
146 replies

by bfilmfan 4 views

Closed to new repliesThis discussion is closed. It stays readable, but it takes no new replies.

This is page 2 of the discussion. Read the opening post

146 replies

by santeewelding

Starting with the initial, the division of self, the "cut" at the root of "certainty".

For which I suggest you jettison all terms at hand and create your own.

In a manner of spaking.

by boxfiddler Hot topic

Looking that up in an online dictionary yields some mighty interesting suggestions as to what I might have been trying to find.
Serious laughter.

by bfilmfan

I think Marc Cohn pretty much laid out my thoughts on having and being a true companion, in his song True Companion.

When the years have done irreparable harm
I can see us walking slowly arm in arm
Just like the couple on the corner do
'Cause girl I will always be in love with you
And when I look in your eyes
I'll still see that spark
Until the shadows fall
Until the room grows dark

Then when I leave this Earth
I'll be with the angels standin'
I'll be out there waiting for my true companion
Just for my true companion

A great song from one of my favorite singers.

by gadgetgirl

what you were looking for when you actually found that, Jer! :p

My imagination is having fun running riot by itself.... :D :D

Oh - and what's the difference between friend/companion/live with/brother/mother/ex lover/boyfriend?

Answers on a postcard please.....

someone in this house needs to know.

Yup, gottit.

It ain't me ..... :(

GG

No, no, it's not The Murff, either ....

by bfilmfan

I was, and still am, thinking about the ramifications of new drugs that can block bad memories, as was discussed in the film Sunshine of the Eternal Mind (which is semi-based on real research into drugs that block bad memories http://www.technovelgy.com/ct/Science-Fiction-News.asp?NewsNum=1099) and the potential effects on what that effect would be on people, since a great deal of who we are is based on our memories; although, Phillip K Dick asked the same questions over and over in his fiction. Still working on my ideas for that one?

My definitions on what "friend/companion/live with/brother/mother/ex lover/boyfriend" are, is as follows:

A friend is someone that you have chosen to share part of your life with. They may not be with you forever, so appreciate whatever time you do have with them, as none of us are guaranteed anything in this life.

A companion is someone that you willingly share yourself with, sometimes on all levels, with no restrictions.

You can live with someone, sometimes for many years, have a physical relationship, share economics, raise children, etc., but they never really are your companion. The true and sad fact that most of us spend a great deal of our lives in relationships with people that are not our companions, robbing both people of the opportunity of being with their true companion.

A brother or sister is someone that you would lay down your life for in a moment with no questions asked and no thanks expected.

Your mother is the person that provides the comfort and nurturing that you need to survive in a cold and hard world. Your momma might love ya, but that don't mean she won't swat your tail when you need it to get ya moving too.

A boyfriend or girlfriend is someone that you share part of yourself with in the hopes that they might just be a true companion.

An ex-lover is just that - a part of the past. And the past can be a source of reflection, joy, empowerment, pain and even nightmare. But as Rafiki, so wisely said, "Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or... learn from it."

Now I am the curious one about who else you got living over there in the IT Gadget World?

by gadgetgirl

apart from The Murff (the old sea dog) there's only HOB.........

(Him On Board)

Take a pinch of all of the above (sorta) and you have it.

As for taking the pain away - physically, yes. Mentally is a whole new ball game. If deletion of mental pain would give me back a few years of my life (no, I'm not kidding) then I'd go for it. If it changed who I've become - well, I'd have to think about that. I'm not the doormat I used to be.

Still bet it wouldn't work on a broken heart, though......

GG

by bfilmfan

Sadly, I have discovered that there are some wounds so mortal to the soul that even time cannot repair them.

I think a number of us wander the world seeking to just become comfortably numb. Others, become filled with rage that is all to often directed at themselves and it acts like cancer and just eats them up from inside.

by bfilmfan

We've all had relationships end, some of them gently like a kitten sneaking up on you and some of them like a full grown lion decided to snack on your head!

In these times of emotional stress and psychological pain, we often say and do things which are actually quite funny years later.

When I was younger, a lady and I decided to part company, less than amicably. The real issue in the relationship was that she believed it was okay to date other men, while dating me, but I believed and told by her, that I was it. To really add insult to injury, she was one of those "everyone but me and my lil' friends over here that believe this are going to Heaven and everyone else is going to Hell" types. (Yah I know I was young and stupid, I plead guilty.)

During the last phone conversation, which has stuck in my mind all these years was my reply to her statement, "I never meant to hurt you..."

My reply, and I admit to having been filled with a cold and righteous fury at the time, was, "You can go to church on Sunday and maybe Jesus will forgive you. Jerr sure as hell isn't. And I would like to wish you the best; but and frankly, I really am not that nice a guy. I hope you get exactly what you deserve." And then I hung up the phone and have never heard from her again.

So when you were in your moment of pain have you said something that was really striking or funny and did you regret it later?

I don't know if I was striking or funny, but I don't regret for a minute that I hope she found someone that she deserved.

by jamesrl

...did you think I was a cheap date?

Of course I've said something I regretted. I was honest when I should not have been. I said how I felt, before thinking about it, not what she needed to hear in her situation. It ended very very badly. No amount of cards letters or flowers could get her to speak to me again.

Some day I will get to pass that bit of wisdom onto my son, when he becomes a young man.

James

by bfilmfan

I look forward to sharing a good malt Scotch with a long-time TR friend.

It's why friends and Scotch were made for each other.

And we all have stories about things we wish we hadn't said. At least, I know I do and I was certain others do also.

I think some of the saddest comments on human life are not what we say in anger, but what we do not say to those that we care about.

by jdclyde

I told my ex that she had better marry her latest boyfriend before he finds out what she is like..... ;\

Lets just say, she didn't find that nearly as amusing as I did.....

by bfilmfan

That one made me laugh.

I keep waiting to see what the ladies have said, but looks like they are unusally reticent.

by tig2

Not mine, my sister's.

On being told by her then husband that he was leaving to continue the affair that he had been carrying on for some time, she let him know that while she was hurt right now, the witch he was leaving her for would insure that he would hurt later. It has been several years and she was absolutely correct.

by jamesrl

Though my only visit to Georgia was to the airport in Atlanta. I have memories of a great Mexican restaurant in that aiport.

Given the current economy, I doubt I will be travelling much for business any time soon, unless its to a city where I have staff (Vancouver/Montreal).

I remember an old work friend who used to lisetn to Phil Collins when in one of those moods.

Personally, I recommend Blue Rodeo (try Bad Timing).

I think the important thing is that we can hoepfully learn from our mistakes. I know I've learned from some of them.

James

by boxfiddler Hot topic

[i]I think some of the saddest comments on human life are... what we do not say to those that we care about.[/i]

by the scummy one

1. Make sure that the intended target (male or female) has a heartbeat

2. Make sure that you know before clothes come off, whether you are with a Man, Woman, or Hermaphrodite

3. Pay attention to details -- a man singing showtunes while drunk, may be the man for you :0

4. Tabledancing is for women, stay off the tables

5. Pole Dancing is for Women to do, stay away from the pole

Oops -- gotta go -- continue later

by boxfiddler Hot topic

Too many sayings, for one.

For another, water under the bridge isn't worth chasing after.

by jdclyde

Was watching a show with my boys, and so of course, it had fart humor in it....

It just slipped out, without meaning to, I said "Your mother almost never farts because she doesn't shut up long enough to build up the pressure".

Through their tears of laughter, they told me I was mean......

by boxfiddler Hot topic

the odds are pretty good that I haven't had much to say about my ex's. The one exception is an idiot, and my vocal best there is "WTF was I thinking?" :D

(That would be the same one I tried to run over in a parking lot.)

etu

by jdclyde

you seem to know an awful lot about this..... :0

Something you feel like sharing with the class? A secret maybe? :p

by jdclyde

She must have been listening, because it was only a year and a half from when they met that they ran off and got hitched.

But she did the responsible thing, she [b]called[/b] the boys the [b]next week[/b] to let them know she was re-married..... :0

Nothing says "you don't matter much" like that, huh?

by jdclyde

no, not my ex-wife.

She started to see other people, and I was just not open to sharing.

I told her not to come around without a note from her doctor. B-)

by arignote

Diamond prices are inflated by a monopoly.

I'd rather have the sewing machine or the belt sander. A home-cooked gourmet dinner is also good.

by bfilmfan

You HAVE to tell us this story.

This sure tops anything I got in my dating break up stories.

by jdclyde

Interpretive dance has been a recognized art form for a very long time now!

Art hater! :p

by boxfiddler Hot topic

OMG. That is funny. Probably because I know just who I would sing it to!
Not a nice boxy. :p

by bfilmfan

And I have to say that song is the funniest thing I think I've heard off You Tube this week.

This discussion is closed to new replies.