You Want isn't possible with the setup that you have.
Yes you are correct that the USB Device is the limiting factor here regarding Screen Resolutions and there is nothing you can do to improve the way that these devices work.
As for using both Monitors at their Max Resolution you need a Dual Head Video Card to do this that will work with your Desktop. As you didn't say what it was I can not help you there much either other than saying [b]Read the Manual[/b] for the details of any Expansion Ports that may be on the M'Board that you can plug a Video Card into and get a suitable Video Card.
As for using a KMV Switch to switch the NB Display as that is plugging into the external Port of the NB you can not have the NB ruining in Extended Desktop Mode so you will only get a clone of the NB Screen on the external Monitor.
As for switching between the NB and Desktop if you only have 1 Video Port Switched you need a KMV Switch that switches 2 Video Ports and then connect your 2 Monitors tot he output of this and if you intend to continue using the USB thing run a Video Lead from this to the Switch and you'll need to add another USB Display adapter to the other computer and connect that to the Dual Video Switch.
As for running a Switched Dual Display from the NB and then using the NB Monitor for a different display [b]You Can't.[/b] You could however use 2 USB Video Devices though I do not believe that these will allow you to extend your Desktop to switch on the KMV Switch.
If you constantly ask for things like this I can easily understand why you are not getting any suitable answers as it's just not possible. Using the NB's Internal Monitor and then an Extended Desktop spread over 2 Monitors externally is exactly the same as wanting 3 monitors on the Desktop with 2 Switched it's not possible so why would you even want to try this to begin with. Though to be perfectly honest with the Desktop it would be easier to run 3 Monitors with one always being connected to the Desktop through a Video Cloning Device connected between the Video Out and the 2 Monitors that it feeds but even that would limit your ability to run high screen resolutions.
Personally I want a transporter so I don't have to drive everywhere but I'm not expecting it to happen tomorrow and while when asked what people can do for me I ask for a Matter Transporter I don't demand that they provide me with one before I'll do any work for them. :)
Col