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  • #2259154

    Edited out

    Locked

    by ontheropes ·

    Edited out

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    • #3283714

      NB

      by maecuff ·

      In reply to Edited out

      I am always amused by your Friday post. Now stop distracting me!! I have to get ready for work now. I haven’t even made it to the shower yet. Am I going to have time to do my hair?? I don’t think so..I spent all my time looking at pictures!

      🙂

      • #3283694

        Edited out

        by ontheropes ·

        In reply to NB

        Edited out

        • #3283688

          It actually looks fine

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to Edited out

          I prefer it when I don’t straighten it out, however, the curly, wavy way my hair dries naturally is better suited for a Friday NIGHT and not Friday DAY.

        • #3209231

          Thank goodness

          by tonythetiger ·

          In reply to Edited out

          you caught her on a good day (GDR)

        • #3209213

          I very rarely

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to Edited out

          have bad ones..

        • #3209181

          No NB you got it wrong!!!!!! :p

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to Edited out

          This is what Mae looks like before she’s had time to put on her face and do her hair. 🙂

          http://tinyurl.com/qjgom

          Sorry I didn’t really mean it Mae :p

          Col ]:)

        • #3209162

          Edited out

          by ontheropes ·

          In reply to No NB you got it wrong!!!!!! :p

          Edited out

        • #3209142

          Yeah..but

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to No NB you got it wrong!!!!!! :p

          AFTER I fix my hair and face..I look awesome. 🙂

    • #3283713

      My favorite stupid user story

      by nicknielsen ·

      In reply to Edited out

      “Word Perfect Technical support; may I help you?”

      “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”

      “What sort of trouble?”

      “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”

      “Went away?”

      “They disappeared.”

      “Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”

      “Nothing.”

      “Nothing?”

      “It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”

      “Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?”

      “How do I tell?”

      “Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?”

      “What’s a sea-prompt?”

      “Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?”

      “There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”

      “Does your monitor have a power indicator?”

      “What’s a monitor?”

      “It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”

      “I don’t know.”

      “Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?”

      …..”Yes, I think so.”

      “Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.”

      …..”Yes, it is.”

      “When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”

      “No.”

      “Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”

      …..”Okay, here it is.”

      “Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”

      “I can’t reach it.”

      “Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?”

      “No.”

      “Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”

      “Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle-it’s because it’s dark.”

      “Dark?”

      “Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”

      “Well, turn on the office light then.”

      “I can’t.”

      “No? Why not?”

      “Because there’s a power outage.”

      “A power… A power outage? Aha! Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?”

      “Well, yes. I keep them in the closet.”

      “Good! Go get them and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”

      “Really! Is it that bad?”

      “Yes, I’m afraid it is.”

      “Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”

      “Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer.”

    • #3283709

      Which of the following is the largest?…

      by techexec2 ·

      In reply to Edited out

      “…Which of the following is the largest?…”

      My God that was funny! And, how EMBARRASSING for that poor woman?

      ANOTHER EMBARRASSMENT

      This reminded me of Ken Jennings who was on Jeopardy consecutively for months and won $2.5 million. He seemed to know virtually EVERY bit of trivia about EVERYTHING.

      He lost on the following answer:

      Answer: “Most of this firm’s 70,000 seasonal white collar employees work only four months a year”

      His Question: “What is FedEx?”

      Correct question: “What is H&R Block.” (embarrassing!)

    • #3283708

      Cat Haiku

      by tig2 ·

      In reply to Edited out

      You never feed me.
      Perhaps I’ll sleep on your face.
      That will sure show you.

      I need a new toy.
      Tail of black dog keeps good time.
      Pounce! Good dog! Good dog!

      The rule for today:
      Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
      New rule tomorrow.

      In deep sleep hear sound;
      Cat vomit hairball somewhere.
      Will find in morning.

      Grace personified,
      I leap into the window.
      I meant to do that.

      The mighty hunter
      Returns with gifts of plump birds–
      Your foot just squashed one.

      You’re always typing.
      Well, let’s see you ignore my
      sitting on your hands.

      Kitty like plastic.
      Confuses for litter box.
      Don’t leave tarp around.

      Small brave carnivores
      Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
      Fear vacuum cleaner

      Wanna go outside.
      Oh, no! Help! I got outside!
      Let me back inside!

      Cats meow out of angst
      “Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
      We could break so much!”

      Litter box not here.
      You must have moved it again.
      I’ll poop in the sink.

      I have successfully weaned myself off ibuprophen and am on the road to recovery… ish. Time for more coffee!

      Have a great weekend everyone!

      • #3283692

        Edited out

        by ontheropes ·

        In reply to Cat Haiku

        Edited out

      • #3283684

        meow

        by jdclyde ·

        In reply to Cat Haiku

        got to love the cats. mine decided my foot was a chew toy at 4:30 this morning….. cool how cats can fly……

        So, what is the worst part tig. body ache or feet? Find a nice hot tub and a nice bottle of wine! 😡

        • #3283672

          Except for the remains of a couple of blisters…

          by tig2 ·

          In reply to meow

          My feet are fine. I’m still catching up on sleep so I feel a bit achy. The worst is my right ear. The tips of my ears burned and my right ear burned through all the layers. Ears will bleed profusly over nothing and I defy you to put on a bandage and keep it in place. So I end up with Bacitracin in my hair. ICK!

          Five miles on Saturday. Believe it or not, at this point, it will feel good. I am trying to not stiffen up and I don’t want to lose the muscle that I have built up. I would just have to build it back next year.

          Need an exercise programme for the Winter months. Suggestions welcome!

        • #3283651

          ears and bandages

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Except for the remains of a couple of blisters…

          I LOVE “liquid bandage”. It goes on like liquid paper (but clear) and is great for places you can’t get a bandage on, or are too small to bother with.

          Has anticeptic in it, so it cleans AND seals at the same time.

          Next year, WIDE BRIM hat! Sombraro anyone? 😀

        • #3209334

          I wear a visor

          by tig2 ·

          In reply to ears and bandages

          And didn’t even bother with that on Day One. A hat gets too hot.

          Might help if I tried putting sunscreen on my ears. I never use the stuff so it didn’t even occur to me.

          Thanks for the tip on the Liquid Bandage. I will have to pick some up. I hate Bacitracin in my hair- it’s greasy!

        • #3209317

          Make sure to clean first

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to I wear a visor

          Using peroxide or something. Liquid Bandages have a tendency to sting when put on an inflamed area.

          We get a great laugh when someone gets a scratch or ten from playing with the cat. OH OH! My turn to put it on you! 😀

          If your burned enough to BLEED, have you been to see a doctor? That could lead to something more serious if not handled correctly.

        • #3209291

          Haven’t bothered with a doc

          by tig2 ·

          In reply to Make sure to clean first

          I am pretty good with wound care and my partner’s mom is also a former nurse. Trick is to keep the bugs out which is why I have been using the Bacitracin. It would be handy to keep it isolated at least for another couple of days.

          I am watching for signs of infection. If I see any, I will go in. Otherwise, I tolerate burns pretty well. Never managed to burn my ears though. This is kinda new…

        • #3209315

          We have a new product that might suit

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to I wear a visor

          Aerosol plaster. You must have the equivalent somewhere. It is really good and really quick to use.

          http://www.elastoplastsport.co.uk/first_aid_range.php

          Neil 😀

          p.s. don’t talk to ME about ear bandages! Up until Tuesday, I looked like a Sikh in full fig! Couldn’t hear and certainly couldn’t wear my glasses!

          Stitches out this evening. Oh, what fun we have…

        • #3209295

          Partly why I kept quiet

          by tig2 ·

          In reply to We have a new product that might suit

          Your poor ear! I can only imagine the fun you’ve been having!

          I will take a look- if i can find it it is worth checking out.

        • #3209287

          T2: Ear jokes

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to We have a new product that might suit

          while I was being stitched up, my goddaughter and friends were sitting together and making up “ear” and other jokes. As it was an 11th birthday bash, we are not talking sophisticated humour! 😀

          “Come over ear Uncle Neil” giggle
          “What’s this ear?” giggle
          “Give that ear” giggle
          “How are you feeling? Sew-sew?” giggle
          “Stop needling your Uncle” (daddy joins in) giggle

          for the next hour. 😀

        • #3209284

          Has the pain at least getting better?

          by tig2 ·

          In reply to We have a new product that might suit

          I can only imagine what you’ve been through. OUCH!

          At least your God-daughter found a bit of humour in the whole situation. You never know with 11 year olds how something will affect.

          I prommise- no bad ear humour from here. Or feet jokes either.

          Hope all is okay when they pull the stitches!

        • #3209261

          Tig: Stitches are out

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to We have a new product that might suit

          Luckily, I have a reasonably high pain threshold so it hasn’t really hurt since the stitching was done. I’ve still got plaster on the cut so I don’t know how good the repair is but the nurse reckoned that I was still beautiful. 🙂

          It would seem that everyone along the chain did the right thing. The nurse practitioner at A&E (ER) sent me off to an ENT specialist to get it stitched and he took his time over it. I’ve missed a few days walking, though, and I’ve some miles to make up next week.

          We Brits are on a three-day weekend – “August Bank Holiday” – but the weather is none too good. Summer seems to have ended early.

          Neil 😀

        • #3209283

          Edited out

          by ontheropes ·

          In reply to I wear a visor

          Edited out

        • #3209180

          Actually Tig

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to I wear a visor

          Over here up North the responsible Hairdressers [b]Will Not[/b] cut hair above the ears or above the collar line as it protects the skin form sunburn and possible Skin Cancer.

          They also advise the males to grow a full beard for exactly the same reason.

          So while you may not be particularly happy you do get a decent coverage and you don’t get sun burnt in these areas.

          I don’t know if you have it over there but a product called Spray On Skin is very useful it comes in a Spray Can and you just spray it on to provide a covering with a disinfectant to prevent infection. Of course being a spray you would have to mask off the area behind the ear so you don’t get any in your hair but it works a treat here. I’ve lost count of the number f times that I’ve used it on scrapes and the like as it’s quick and easy to apply and you don’t have to bother with fresh dressings every few hours/day.

          Col

      • #3208994

        cute

        by shellbot ·

        In reply to Cat Haiku

        i remeber doing haiku’s in school…hated writing em..reading them much better..

        i can identify with the hairball one..

        • #3205830

          Anyone that lives with a feline

          by tig2 ·

          In reply to cute

          Can identify with the hairball one.

          I have a bunch of funny cat stuff- I will have to dig some out before Friday.

          On a another note, Shell- How are you?

        • #3205821

          in truth

          by shellbot ·

          In reply to Anyone that lives with a feline

          not so great.
          smoking again..next week would have been 2 years off them..but i did it then, so i know i can go off them again.

          her and boyfriend broke up again…so hopfully it lasts this time.

          trying to get the house ready to go up for sale. i’m back working part time, and next week will go back almost full time.

          we still on partial lockdown, and we are just waiting to get her to see psycoligist this week or next. she’s bein allowed out for small periods at a time, with the assumption that if she not get into trouble, we will then lengthen those times, or allow her to go further from the house.

          mentally the poor kid has hit rock bottom..with some disturbing actions. a bit too personal for here though..i pm that info to ya.

          thanks Tig.

        • #3205487

          Tig having a BAD DAY with her Feline

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to Anyone that lives with a feline

        • #3282620

          Edited out

          by ontheropes ·

          In reply to Tig having a BAD DAY with her Feline

          Edited out

        • #3282619

          That’s one I haven’t seen before

          by tig2 ·

          In reply to Edited out

          And entirely too cute in the context!

          Thanks NB!

        • #3282618

          Thanks HAL

          by tig2 ·

          In reply to Tig having a BAD DAY with her Feline

          That one is filed under “too cute cat pics”. I love it!

        • #3282611

          Looks more like

          by nicknielsen ·

          In reply to Tig having a BAD DAY with her Feline

          feline having a bad day with her Tig.

          Edit: I’m logging off now. I can’t even spell “like” correctly.

        • #3282597

          Edited out

          by ontheropes ·

          In reply to Looks more like

          Edited out

        • #3282414

          Past my bedtime

          by nicknielsen ·

          In reply to Edited out

          .

    • #3283683

      Just a little something

      by jdclyde ·

      In reply to Edited out

      http://tinyurl.com/ytna

      to distract you for a bit! ]:)

      (yes, it is clean!)

      • #3283668

        That link

        by tig2 ·

        In reply to Just a little something

        Is now in the hands of everyone on my email lilst.

        Way too much fun!

        • #3209178

          The only problem Tig

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to That link

          Is that it should be Red and have the words [b]Stress Relief[/b] Screen Printed on the back and then it would be the product that made Millions for one of the charters in Red Dwarf. 😀

          Col ]:)
          [i]Edited for a typo[/i] 🙁

    • #3283648

      Here’s one I got today..

      by maecuff ·

      In reply to Edited out

      A police officer pulls over a speeding car.
      The officer says, “I clocked you at 80 miles per
      hour, sir.”
      The driver says, “Gee, officer I had it on cruise
      control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.”
      Not looking up from her knitting the wife
      says: “Now don’t be silly dear, you know that
      this car doesn’t have cruise control.”
      As the officer writes out the ticket, the
      driver looks over at his wife and growls, “Can’t you please keep your mouth shut for once?”
      The wife smiles demurely and says “You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.”
      As the officer makes out the second ticket for
      the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers
      at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
      “Darn it, woman, can’t you keep your mouth shut?”
      The officer frowns and says, “And I notice
      that you’re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That’s an automatic $75 fine.”
      The driver says, “Yeah, well, you see officer,
      I had it on, but took it off when you pulled
      me over so that I could get my license out of
      my back pocket.”
      The wife says, “Now, dear, you know very well
      that you didn’t have your seat belt on. You never
      wear your seat belt when you’re driving.”
      And as the police officer is writing out the
      third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, “WHY DON’T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?”
      The officer looks over at the woman and asks,
      “Does your husband always talk to you this way?”

      She replies, “Only when he’s been drinking.”

    • #3209264

      Edited out

      by ontheropes ·

      In reply to Edited out

      Edited out

    • #3209256

      This one

      by tonythetiger ·

      In reply to Edited out

      http://tinyurl.com/mkn46

      is obviously George Bush’s fault.

      • #3209080

        Edited out

        by ontheropes ·

        In reply to This one

        Edited out

        • #3209066

          Admit it NB

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to Edited out

          You are just a Demon-Cr-at Rebel Rouser. :p

          I could never understand why the US was so political till it was recently explained to me that over there you have to vote for everything ranging from the colour of the toilet freshener to the President. As most people don’t give a dam they don’t bother to vote but then go to great lengths complaining about who they get doing what. Hardly seems reasonable to me but then again I don’t live there so what do I know. But I can see in a worst case scenario some criminal saying to the local Sheriff in a 4 person town “You can not arrest me as I voted for you and if I’m arrested your opponent will get office at the election next week!” 😀

          Over here we try to stay as far as possible away from [b]Politicians[/b] and when like now we are in the middle of a 4 week erection we try even harder to ignore them and make sure that any children are safe at home away from the groping hands of a [b]Potential Polly[/b] who is out to get their picture in the [b]Media Assaulting[/b] these children. :^0

          Actually the current 4 week erection period is way too long for most of our liking as we would prefer to be told the day before that there is an [b]Erection Tomorrow[/b] and you have to vote at such & such a place. Generally speaking most people don’t even what to know who the Candidates actually are just provided that we can avoid them we are happy. :p

          Col ]:)

        • #3209061

          Edited out

          by ontheropes ·

          In reply to Admit it NB

          Edited out

        • #3209060

          Actually, Col

          by nicknielsen ·

          In reply to Admit it NB

          The problem is not so much that we have to vote on everything, but that the preliminaries take so long. I think that if the election process only took 4 weeks, we could probably turn out over 90% of voters. 🙂

          Our next general election isn’t until November, but the talking heads have been speculating about it since Christmas. Heck, the next Presidential election isn’t until November 2008 and the speculation over the candidates and the results has already started. 😐

          And on election day, even before all the results are in, they start the 2-month long dissection of the results. If you have access, watch the American election coverage on November 7. It will strongly reinforce that the first four letters of “analyst” are “ANAL.”

          When you throw in the intellectually insulting advertisements, the mudslinging, the propoganda, and even the out-and-out lies, it should be no surprise that by the time election day rolls around, we’re so sick and bloody tired of the whole process, the majority of us throw up our hands and say “A pox on all your houses.” [significant digit emoticon]

          I do vote, and I have been known to ask the complainers if they voted. If they respond in the negative, I’ll tell them to shut up. IMO, if they didn’t care enough to vote, they have no right to complain about the results.

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