Edited out

I am always amused by your Friday post. Now stop distracting me!! I have to get ready for work now. I haven't even made it to the shower yet. Am I going to have time to do my hair?? I don't think so..I spent all my time looking at pictures!

:)

"Word Perfect Technical support; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

....."Yes, I think so."

"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

....."Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

....."Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach it."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power outage."

"A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes. I keep them in the closet."

"Good! Go get them and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really! Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

"...Which of the following is the largest?..."

My God that was funny! And, how EMBARRASSING for that poor woman?

ANOTHER EMBARRASSMENT

This reminded me of Ken Jennings who was on Jeopardy consecutively for months and won $2.5 million. He seemed to know virtually EVERY bit of trivia about EVERYTHING.

He lost on the following answer:

Answer: "Most of this firm's 70,000 seasonal white collar employees work only four months a year"

His Question: "What is FedEx?"

Correct question: "What is H&R Block." (embarrassing!)

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

I need a new toy.
Tail of black dog keeps good time.
Pounce! Good dog! Good dog!

The rule for today:
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound;
Cat vomit hairball somewhere.
Will find in morning.

Grace personified,
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds--
Your foot just squashed one.

You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore my
sitting on your hands.

Kitty like plastic.
Confuses for litter box.
Don't leave tarp around.

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner

Wanna go outside.
Oh, no! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Cats meow out of angst
"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much!"

Litter box not here.
You must have moved it again.
I'll poop in the sink.

I have successfully weaned myself off ibuprophen and am on the road to recovery... ish. Time for more coffee!

Have a great weekend everyone!

http://tinyurl.com/ytna

to distract you for a bit! ]:)

(yes, it is clean!)

I LOVE "liquid bandage". It goes on like liquid paper (but clear) and is great for places you can't get a bandage on, or are too small to bother with.

Has anticeptic in it, so it cleans AND seals at the same time.

Next year, WIDE BRIM hat! Sombraro anyone? :D

A police officer pulls over a speeding car.
The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per
hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise
control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife
says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that
this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the
driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for
the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers
at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
"Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice
that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer,
I had it on, but took it off when you pulled
me over so that I could get my license out of
my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well
that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never
wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the
third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks,
"Does your husband always talk to you this way?"

She replies, "Only when he's been drinking."

Your poor ear! I can only imagine the fun you've been having!

I will take a look- if i can find it it is worth checking out.

I am pretty good with wound care and my partner's mom is also a former nurse. Trick is to keep the bugs out which is why I have been using the Bacitracin. It would be handy to keep it isolated at least for another couple of days.

I am watching for signs of infection. If I see any, I will go in. Otherwise, I tolerate burns pretty well. Never managed to burn my ears though. This is kinda new...

while I was being stitched up, my goddaughter and friends were sitting together and making up "ear" and other jokes. As it was an 11th birthday bash, we are not talking sophisticated humour! :D

"Come over ear Uncle Neil" giggle
"What's this ear?" giggle
"Give that ear" giggle
"How are you feeling? Sew-sew?" giggle
"Stop needling your Uncle" (daddy joins in) giggle

for the next hour. :D

I can only imagine what you've been through. OUCH!

At least your God-daughter found a bit of humour in the whole situation. You never know with 11 year olds how something will affect.

I prommise- no bad ear humour from here. Or feet jokes either.

Hope all is okay when they pull the stitches!

Luckily, I have a reasonably high pain threshold so it hasn't really hurt since the stitching was done. I've still got plaster on the cut so I don't know how good the repair is but the nurse reckoned that I was still beautiful. :)

It would seem that everyone along the chain did the right thing. The nurse practitioner at A&E (ER) sent me off to an ENT specialist to get it stitched and he took his time over it. I've missed a few days walking, though, and I've some miles to make up next week.

We Brits are on a three-day weekend - "August Bank Holiday" - but the weather is none too good. Summer seems to have ended early.

Neil :D

http://tinyurl.com/mkn46

is obviously George Bush's fault.

The problem is not so much that we have to vote on everything, but that the preliminaries take so long. I think that if the election process only took 4 weeks, we could probably turn out over 90% of voters. :)

Our next general election isn't until November, but the talking heads have been speculating about it since Christmas. Heck, the next Presidential election isn't until November 2008 and the speculation over the candidates and the results has already started. :|

And on election day, even before all the results are in, they start the 2-month long dissection of the results. If you have access, watch the American election coverage on November 7. It will strongly reinforce that the first four letters of "analyst" are "ANAL."

When you throw in the intellectually insulting advertisements, the mudslinging, the propoganda, and even the out-and-out lies, it should be no surprise that by the time election day rolls around, we're so sick and bloody tired of the whole process, the majority of us throw up our hands and say "A pox on all your houses." [significant digit emoticon]

I do vote, and I have been known to ask the complainers if they voted. If they respond in the negative, I'll tell them to shut up. IMO, if they didn't care enough to vote, they have no right to complain about the results.

not so great.
smoking again..next week would have been 2 years off them..but i did it then, so i know i can go off them again.

her and boyfriend broke up again...so hopfully it lasts this time.

trying to get the house ready to go up for sale. i'm back working part time, and next week will go back almost full time.

we still on partial lockdown, and we are just waiting to get her to see psycoligist this week or next. she's bein allowed out for small periods at a time, with the assumption that if she not get into trouble, we will then lengthen those times, or allow her to go further from the house.

mentally the poor kid has hit rock bottom..with some disturbing actions. a bit too personal for here though..i pm that info to ya.

thanks Tig.