Even More Fun With Spammers

Yeah, I don't know if that's a very time-efficient way to deal with spam. Definitely fun though. :)

I got this in the email today, my reply is below:

Thanks for you mail today but if i may ask you what % will like to tak form me

and allso sand me your bank contact so that i will go to the bank and give to them for the bank to transfer this to you for to be coimeing over there .
pls tell what you need and i will allso tell you main ok
thanks
john konan

(were do you live ???????)

_______________________________________________

Dear John Konan:

In regards to the questions in your email, I reside in Washington, D.C. in the United States of America.

As I am certain that you aware, such a large bank transfer would be subject to inspection under laws of the United States.In order to avoid difficulties with bothersome individuals associated with government agencies such as those nasty Internal Revenue people, I have set up an off-shore account with Southwind International Bank Ltd. As they are based in Grenada, they are required to have the name of the account holder, bank's name and account code prior to allowing a wire transfer. You will have to supply that information to me prior to my being able to assist you.

You may reach me at my office phone number at (202) 514-1026. As I am not yet positive that you are in earnest on this arrangement, I have arranged for you to be transfered to me when you speak a special pass phrase. The pass phrase is "I wish to speak with the person that handles transfering money as I described in my email to him. I am in Africa." Should you fail to use this phrase, you will not be connected to me. Be sure to use that phrase!

Sincerely,

An interested party

Note that bank is a well-known Internet scam.

The phone number is real though. It goes to the Department of Justice. I really hope he calls with the "special phrase." :)

Got this one today:

mike johnson wrote:
MIKE JOHNSON
RUE 25 MACCORY
ABIDJAN-COTE D'IVOIRE.
WEST AFRICA
+22508354580

Dear ,

My name is Mike Johnson from Sierra Leonian. I am 21 years old and a
student. Please I would like you to assist me as urgent as you can,before
they kill me.My father is a wealthy cocoa merchant.Trouble began early last
year when my father's associates began suspecting that my father is not
givingn prope accounts of all the tonnes of cocoa being cultivated by local
farmersn in some villages.

This mistrust deepens between Oct-Sept, 2000 when they discovered avery
large some of money my father deposited with a Bank here in ABIDJAN-COTE
D'IVOIRE (FORMALLY IVORY COAST in West Africa. As a result of this discovery
and the envy on the money he was poisioned by his associates.

At his hospital bed ,he revealed to me the reasons of his sickness and
directed me where to get the documents of the said deposit which he made on
my name as the next of kin, being the only child.He advised me that in case
he die, that I should not stay in this country Sierre Leone because his
associates will equally kill me hence my mother had died five years ago of
breast cancer.

He also instructed that if he dies, I should look for a foreign partner who
will help me to transfer the money out of this place (Abidjan Cote
d'Ivoire), to his account and the person will help me to invest the money in
that country. Based on this, I had to contact you bearing in mind that you
will be humane enough to protect my life. My father finally died on the 5th
of june,2003 and since then, I was out of school and went into hiding
because of my father's associates. All the relevant documents of the
$8.000,000.(Eight Million United States Dollars) that was deposited in a
Commercial Bank by my late father, are with me now.

I will give you 15% of the total money, if you can help me transferring it
into your Account, for onward investment in your country. Please contact me
immediately with the above E-mail address and include your telephone and
Fax numbers to enable me send you all necessar documents asregards the
money before they kill me. It is a risk free transaction.
I'm waiting for your urgent reply.
Best regards.sincerely,
MIKE JOHNSON
_____________________________________________

Dear Mike Johnson:

Thank you most definitely for regurgitating your informative obfuscation to my email inbox.

Your situation sounds serious indeed...I wish I had known about this earlier as I was in Abidjan only last month to arrange some arms shipments, do some scuba diving and assisting John Konan, whose father was also a wealthy cocoa merchant who was poisoned and I had to assist him in removing 12.5 million dollars out of your country. I don't anticipate being able to travel to Abidjan until after daylight savings time ends in September...jet lag is bad enough with adding in the extra hour (or is it subtracted...I always forget).

Your offer is very interesting, but I'm surprised that you are only willing to offer me 15%. My wife's uncle Tony told me he gets 50% when he helps with "cash flow" problems, but maybe the rate is higher in New Jersey where he lives (Good thing the gas prices are so low!). When you add in the travel expenses, it will be quite expensive for me to make the trip, especially since AirTran doesn't fly to Abidjan. I guess I can take Continental...at least I'll get some sky miles.

Please respond as soon as possible as I've also received an intriguing offer from Kizombe Kamara of Nigeria, and he is willing to perform a similar financial transaction via fax. Nothing against Abidjan, but it's certainly no Uzbekistan.

You may reach by faxing further details to my fax machine at (202) 514-6113. Please include contact information such as phone numbers, fax numbers and an email account where I may reach you.

Sincerely and with malice towards none,

An Interested Party