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Friday Yuk

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by oz_media

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Well I haven' started one in a while, so hopefully nobody beat me to it.

A little boy is sitting on his porch, gazing into a box with six, newborn puppies in it.

George Bush was out for a Sunday jog and stopped to ask the boy, "Hi son, what kind of puppies do ya have there?"

"They're Republicans", said the boy.
George Bush beamed with pride, patted the boy on the head and said "Atta boy, y'all take care of them Republicans, now." and with that, he jogged off again.

About three weeks later Geroge Bush was out for a jog again, but this time with with Dick Cheney at his side. As he approached the boy's house again he saw him playing with the puppies, this time much bigger than before.

He winked at Cheney and said, "Watch this, Dick", with a cheeky grin.

"Hi again, son. Say, what kind of puppies do you have there?" grinning again to Cheney

"They're Democrats", said the boy, proudly.

What" said Bush, "...but they were Republicans a few weeks ago, what happened?!"

The boy smiled and said "Well they were Republicans at first, and then they opened thier eyes and became Democrats."

Happy weekend, y'all! :D

6 replies

by oz_media

A boy comes home from school one day and says to his mom, "Mom, don't be mad, but I had sex with my teacher at school today."

"WHAT!!" screamed his mother "Go to your room right now and we'll talk when your father hears about this!"

Later that evening, after hearing the news, his father beamed and said, "GREAT, son. Let's go to the store and get you a new bike!"

After leaving the store with his shiny new bike, his father asked if he wanted to ride his new bike back home.

The boy looked and him and frowned "I can't dad. My a$$ is still sore from school."

Tee hee hee. ]:)

by half9

steve irwin got to heaven and the big fella asked how he was and if he wanted anything. Yes I,m fine said steve bring me a croc.
The next day he ran into the big fella again Crickey I said croc NOT BROCK

by jdclyde

"You know what hot, unbridled sex gets you? An 8 passenger van with 6 booster seats."
-----Guy Nurse

"Evander Holyfield was shocked to hear that Mike Tyson was retiring from boxing. He said, 'Tyson quitting? I can't believe my ear!'"
-----Jay Leno

"terday the Supreme Court ruled against the use of medical marijuana. The good news, at least they waited until after the weekend."
-----David Letterman

by mikescomputehelp

Upcoming 2006 Democratic Convention Agenda:

6:00 p.m. - Opening flag burning ceremony.

6:05 p.m. - Opening secular prayers by Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton.

6:30 p.m. - Anti-war concert by Barbra Streisand.

6:40 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

7:00 p.m. - Tribute theme to France.

7:10 p.m. - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.

7:25 p.m. - Tribute theme to Germany.

7:45 p.m. - Anti-war rally (Moderated by Michael Moore).

8:25 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:30 p.m. - Terrorist appeasement workshop.

9:00 p.m. - Gay marriage ceremony (both male and female couples).

9:30 p.m. - * Intermission *

10:00 p.m. - Posting the Iraqi Colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins.

10:10 p.m. - Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.

10:20 p.m. - Cameo by Dean 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'

10:30 p.m. - Abortion demonstration by N.A.R.A.L.

10:40 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast & late night swim.

10:50 p.m. - Pledge of allegiance to the UN.

11:00 p.m. - Multiple gay marriage ceremony (threesomes, mixed and same sex). Rep. Barney Frank (D, Mass.), Sponsor.

11:15 p.m. - Maximizing Welfare workshop.

11:30 p.m. - 'Free Saddam' pep rally.

11:59 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

12:00 p.m. - Nomination of democratic candidate.

P.S. Any chance we could get Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home from the convention?

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