Friday Yuk
Before I hit the road...
American Medical Association researchers have made a remarkable discovery. It seems that some patients needing blood transfusions may benefit from receiving chicken blood rather than human blood.
It tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better.
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Ed and Ted were standing at the urinals in a public lavatory when Ed glanced over and noticed that Ted's penis was twisted like a corkscrew.
"Blimey," Ed said. "I've never seen one like that before."
"Like what?" Ted said.
"All twisted like a pigs tail," Ed said.
"Well what's yours like?" Ted said.
"Well straight like normal," Ed said.
"I thought mine was normal `til I saw yours," Ted said.
Ed finished what he was doing and started to give his old boy a shake down prior to putting it back in his pants.
"What did you do that for?" Ted said.
"Shaking off the excess drops," Ed said. "Like normal."
"Sh*t," Ted said. "And all these years I've been wringing...
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I went to a fancy dress party last night, and saw a woman there who was completely naked, except for a pair of black gloves and a pair of black boots, so I said to her "What have you come as?"
She replied "The five of spades."
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And this one's for NeverBusted...
A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in his rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.
"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?"
The old man slowly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's idea."
(NB, my wife made me do it too!)
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Edited, of course