Friday YUK

[b]How to Mess Up a Job Interview[/b]

We've all been interviewed for jobs. And, we've all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't bite your nails. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. Don't belch. If we did any of the don'ts, we knew we'd disqualify ourselves instantly. But some job applicants go light years beyond this. We surveyed top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations and asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants. The lowlights:

- "...stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application."

- "She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time."

- "A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."

- "...asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate."

- "... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office - wiping the ketchup on her sleeve."

- "Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm."

- "Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions."

- "When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office."

- "At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, went through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left."

- "...pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him."

- "Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much."

- "While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold."

- "During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate's brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview."

- "A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: 'Which company? When do I start? What's the salary?' I said, 'I assume you're not interested in conducting the interview any further.' He promptly responded, 'I am as long as you'll pay me more.' I didn't hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer."

- "His attache [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume."

- "Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one."

- "...asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security."

- "Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch, and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk."

Last night I watched someone get taken into custody, on a Canada Wide Warrant, for shoplifting..a chocolate bar.

funny as all get go, stealing a choolate bar will get a national warrant for your arrest, yet true story.

I found this elsewhere on the net and thought I would pass it on. Anyway, it made me laugh, and I thought many of you would enjoy it also.

===============================
The story behind the letter below is that there is this nutball in Newport, RI named Scott Williams who digs things out of his backyard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institute, labeling them with scientific names, insisting that they are actual archaeological finds. This guy really exists and does this in his spare time!
Anyway...here's the actual response from the Smithsonian Institution. Bear this in mind next time you think you are challenged in your duty to respond to a difficult situation in writing.
____________________________________________________

Smithsonian Institute
7 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20078

Dear Mr. Williams:

Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled "93211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post...Hominid skull." We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago. Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety that one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be "Malibu Barbie." It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with your findings. However, we do feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to its modern origin:
1. The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are
typically fossilized bone.
2. The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic
centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest
identified proto-homonids.
3. The dentition pattern evident on the skull is more consistent
with the common domesticated dog than it is with the ravenous
man-eating Pliocene clams you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time.

This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it. Without going into too much detail, let us say that:
A. The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed on.
B. Clams don't have teeth.

It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon-dated. This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in its normal operation, and partly due to carbon-dating's notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior to 1956AD, and carbon-dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results.
Sadly, we must also deny your request that we approach the National Science Foundation Phylogeny Department with the concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name Australopithecus spiff-arino. Speaking personally, I, for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn't really sound like it might be Latin. However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a Hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your Newport back yard.
We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation's capital that you proposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it. We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the trans-positating fillifitation of ferrous metal in a structural matrix that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus rex femur you recently discovered take on the
deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench.

Yours in Science,

Harvey Rowe
Chief Curator- Antiquities

This is the Original Hangover Rating System (not that any of us can relate): :D

One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 sodas and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Perkins excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet coke and haven't peed yet!!!

Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. (For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars.) Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.

Five Star Hangover (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now.

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK :
Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation
Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Specificity
British Constitution
Passive-aggressive disorder
Loquacious Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
Nope, no more booze for me.
Sorry, but you're not really my type.
Good evening, Officer, isn't it lovely out tonight.
Oh, I couldn't. Nobody wants to hear me sing

Have a great weekend!

Try these on UNIX

% ar m God ar:

% "How would you rate Bush's incompetence?

% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?

% ^How did the sex change^ operation go?

% sleep with me

% got a light?

% man: why did you get a divorce?

% ^What is saccharine?

$ drink matter

% man sex

And I'm already vulnerable.

I don't watch a lot of television, however, At the beginning of March, I started watching the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series. I finished season 7 last night. I have no idea what to do with the rest of my life now.

And, apparently, I'll never be rich. And my husband doesn't find me attractive. He's such a liar, he said he did.

I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend the other day.

We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic nights we used to enjoy, together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be
interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "magic."

"Wow!" I said. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now. I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me." She just giggled and said she was sure I'd "rise" to the challenge. "Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline that's a few inches wider these days!" She laughed and told me to stop being so silly.

She teased me saying that tubby bald men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

Anyway, she giggled, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"

So I told her to f*&k off.

religious thread?

You KNOW that is my prerogative. ]:)

jardinier = gardener

gardener grows flowers, including roses.

I got the idea in dpetrak's discussion about his avatar.

As mentioned previously, the photo of myself gives a totally false impression of my appearance when it is shrunk to that size.

So stay tuned for an ever changing array of gems from my gardening website.

Here is the original photo from which I made the avatar:

http://www.gardening4pleasure.com/images/MrLincoln_c.jpg

Funny but Dumb Quotes From the World of Sports

"I'm rich. What am I supposed to do, hide it?"
-Detroit Tiger Lou Whitaker, arriving in a stretch limo for a players' union meeting during the 1994 baseball strike.

"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf."
-Tug McGraw, asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf

"There is one word in America that says it all, and that word is, 'You never know.'"
-Pitcher Joaquin Andujar

"He's the about the size of a lot of guys that size." -Offensive coordinator Gary Crowton, on QB Cade McNown

"It's almost like we have ESPN."
-Magic Johnson, on how well he and James Worthy work together

"Tom."
-Tom Nissalke, New coach of the NBA's Houston Rockets, when asked how he pronounced his name, 1966

"Better teams win more often than the teams that are not so good." -Tom Watt, ex-Maple Leaves coach (his team was not so good)

"I'm glad you're doing this story on us and not on the WNBA. We're so much prettier than all the other women in sports."
-Martina Hingis in Detour Magazine, 3/98 issue.

"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
-Lou Duva, Veteran boxing trainer, on the spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota, 1996.

"He (Julio Cesar Chavez) speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual, too." -Don King, boxing promoter.

"Then I was skinnier. I hit it better, I putted better, and I could see better. Other than that, everything is the same."
-PGA Senior Tour player Homero Blancas.

"It's basically the same, just darker."
-Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons, 1991

"This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother."
-Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator

7 REASONS TO CRAWL UNDER A ROCK

1. CURL UP AND DIE: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three
kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a
blow job?" - Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin TX

2. PAD PLEASE: An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our
mortgage insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and
I wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and
get me a pad. He came back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our
guest. - Kate Newman, 46,Winston-Salem, NC

3. HO, HO, HO: I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the
bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he
looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came
out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our
Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing
hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at
the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had
captured my reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera! - (Name
withheld)

4. LADY GOLFER: I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf
balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After
browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking
gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without
thinking, looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's
balls." - Colleen Collins, 31, Ferndale, MI

5. NUTS ABOUT YOU: My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store
that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the
boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the
boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister
has never let me forget. - Faye Emerick, 34, Ellerslie, MD

6. PRICELESS: A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she
finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no
price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom
and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE 13, TAMPAX,
SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store
apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a
business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT
THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A
HAMMER?" - (Name withheld)

7. MOM'S ADVICE: A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the
class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying
attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite
embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and
he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal's
office. He was to phone his mother and ask her what he should do about it.
He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at
the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him
sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to
call your Mom." She screamed. "I did," He said, "and she told me that if I
could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school." -
(Name withheld)

[b][u]A Matter of Perspective[/b][/u]

[b][u]Her Diary Entry:[/u][/b]
My husband was in an odd mood Saturday night. We planned to meet at a cafe for a
drink. I spent the afternoon shopping with the girls and I thought it might have
been my fault because I was a bit later than I promised but he didn't say
anything about it. I don't remember doing anything to make him upset, but I
could tell there was something wrong.
The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off to someplace
intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was
still acting a bit funny. I was getting really worried, what did I do? What was
bothering him? Was he mad at me?
I tried to cheer him up, but started to wonder what was bothering him. Was it me
or something else? I asked him if he was upset with me, he said no. But I wasn't
really sure. In the car on the way back home, I said that I loved him deeply and
he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what the heck that meant because,
you know, he didn't say it back or anything. We finally got back home and I was
wondering if he was going to leave me! So I tried to get him to talk but he just
switched on the TV.
Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to bed. Then after about 10 minutes, he
joined me and to my surprise, we made love. But, he still seemed really
distracted, so afterwards I wanted to confront him but didn't, so I just cried
myself to sleep. I just don't know what to do anymore. I mean, I really think
he's seeing someone.

[b][u]His Journal Entry:[/u][/b]
Played badly today -- shot 97. Couldn't putt to save my life! Felt kind of
tired. Got laid though.

Thinking his son would enjoy seeing the re-enactment of a Civil War battle,
the young husband took the boy, Will, to the event but the poor child was
terrified by the booming cannons. During a lull, Will's dad finally got him
calmed down.

That's when the Confederate general hollered, "Fire at will!"

1 Start shagging your wife doggy style
2 Lean over and grab both of her breasts
3 Whisper in her ear "You?re not as good as your sister"
4 Try to hold on for at least eight seconds.

Shoplifting alone, not a big deal. The warrant was issued because he made a second bad decision, not to show up. Thats not a direct result, thats two errors not one.

He might never get bail again.

James

? There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
? When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbour's dog that barks all the time run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
? If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
? A penny saved is a government oversight.
? The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
? The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
? He who hesitates is probably right.
? If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
? The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
? How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
? If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
? Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.
? If Walmart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?
? You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
? Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
? Don't cry because it's over: smile because it happened.
? We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors...but they all have to learn to live in the same box.
? Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
? A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
? Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
? Once over the hill, you pick up speed.
? I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
? If not for STRESS I'd have no energy at all.
? Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
? Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
? I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much.
? You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.
? Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
? We cannot change the direction of the wind ... but we can adjust our sails.
? If the shoe fits......buy it in every color (YES!)

Even the most pious among us must laugh at some of these.

? I don't care WHO you are, you're not walking on the water while I'm fishing.
? A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible.
? Definition of Atheism : a non-prophet organization.
? Photons have mass!?! I didn't even know they were Catholic.
? Since God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
? I'm convinced God put me here to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I'm so far behind I'll never die!
? When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
? Adam to Eve: I'll wear the plants in this family!
? Give me some of that old-time Religion! HAIL ZEUS!
? In a crisis call for Isis!
? Jesus Saves. Passes to Moses. Shoots. HE SCORES!
? Sects, sects, sects. Is that all you monks ever think about?
? The lion and the calf shall lie down together, but the calf won't get much sleep.
? On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said, "Let's see the evolutionists try and figure this one out."
? If God is inside us, then I hope he likes fajitas, ?cause that's what He's getting tonight.

Eye halve a spelling checker
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marks four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word and
weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long'
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore yore pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My checker tolled me sew.

Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say.

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort.
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort.
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash.
Then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

You can't say this?
What a shame sir!
We'll find you another game, sir!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on the
mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the
hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of Gauss,
So your icons in the windows are so wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC.
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

It has something to do with if you've gone to it directly before...

I got the bart simpson until I copied and pasted it, now I can click the link and get to it fine...

When I first tried it, it worked fine.

When you said it worked for you, I assumed you were back to your stealth edits again! :D

It is probably based on number of connections from the link in an hour or something?

Either way, there still IS no boat.

I'm not sure why..

There was a horrible mistake at the hospital. A man who was
scheduled for a vasectomy was instead given a sex change
operation. The doctors gathered at his bed afterwards to tell
him the bad news.

"Ohhhh no!!!" the patient wailed, "I'll never be able to
experience an erection again!"

"Of course you'll still be able to experience erections,"
replied one surgeon, "only it will have to be someone else's!"

Arthur boldly strides into his doctors office.
"Doc," says Arthur, "I want to be castrated."
"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.
"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Arthur.
"But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!"
"I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind -- either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor."
"Well, OK.", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgment!"
So Arthur has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way.
"Hi there," says Arthur, "It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me."
"Well, maybe…" said the patient, "I finally decided after 39 years of life that I would like to be circumcised."
Arthur stared at him in horror and screamed, "Crap! THAT'S the word!”

down here in the south with a ban on hosepipes, filling swimming pools, etc. I think that they're alright up in GG country.

And yet it's peeing down outside and blowing up a gale and the weather forecast is for cold and wet for the rest of next week so I can't go fishing. Grrrrr.

There's your answer jd. Ccolin's got it all.

(Hal & JD) are hopeless. :^0

:)

I am not an expert on USA law but do watch enough of the 'true life' and fictional cop shows to know that in the USA you are not shop stealing or shoplifting until AFTER you have left the space controlled by the store; also the level of charge is dependent upon the value of the item stolen - steal expensive jewelery and it is a higher charge than stealing a pair of pants.

I also know that some jurisdictions have laws to automatically up the level of the charge if you resist being arrested or detained by the security staff or police when challenged about the theft. This could see a misdemeaner charge of theft for stealing a pair of pants upped to being a felony charge of theft for pushing the security guard away when he asks you to return to the store.

Many years ago I had to go to the UK for some company related business in the middle of our winter.

One weekend they insisted on dragging us all down to Brighton Beach as they had a [b]Heat Wave[/b] going I was the one standing in the Great Coat with my hands in my pockets shivering while all the [b]Crazy Poms[/b] where running around in Bikinis and swimmers and complaining about the heat.

Some people just don't know any better. :D

Col ]:)

In front of the skimpily clad female? :0

That's not a boat in any form it's a small water craft that's only useful as a means from getting from a [b]Real Boat[/b] to the shore and back again when the need arises. :p

Now if you want to see some really scantly clad females you need to go to the Whitsundays for their Figure Head Races. Naked females all over the boats almost make it impossible to sail anywhere they get in the road of everything. :_|

One year we had to kedge one of the competitors yachts off a island as the very drunk skipper sailed straight into a mountain. What was even worse was next morning when he woke and saw all the damage to his yacht and was demanding to know who had crashed into it overnight. :D He couldn't even remember us boarding it getting it off the cliff and sailing it back to harbour. Nor could all the naked females on board either. :^0

After sailing the Sydney Hobart, then back to Sydney and then on the Sydney Brisbane and then the Brisbane Gladstone you really need a break and it was never boring doing the Whitsunday races. :^0

But it's hard work and being the good little sailor that I was I just had to do it. Of course the few drinks didn't hurt much either. But we had to be careful not to become dehydrated so there was always plenty to drink at those alleged races. B-)

Col ]:)
http://tinyurl.com/fz854

my ID is sort of a nickname and my initials combined as a way to make an id that I could remember while keeping from using my real name.

When it was first chosen as my TR ID, I never gave the discussions a thought. It was all newsletters and downloads.

The name game from growing up with a jeff across the road and across the alley from me. We would walk in somewhere and say "hi, we're Jeff."

As you could figure, calling each other jeff was out of the question. I was dubbed clyde, and there was chez and kat. (I got the best one!) :D

I was going to change it about a year ago, but people started to know me at this, so I left it.

pet note - Bear (see avitar) is at my feet and Hyde (cat, soon to be avitar) is on my lap, laying across my arms. His spot when I am on my laptop TRYING to get some homework done. :D