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Friday Yuk

By stargazerr ·
NEW WORDS FOR 2006


TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".

SINBAD. single working girls Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" -needless paperwork and processes.

OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake ( e.g. you've hit 'reply all')

GOING FOR A McSHIT. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a
pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies

AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3am.

BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.

JOHNNY-NO-STARS. A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the
badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.

MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.

MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".

MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when y! ou come back in.

MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.

PEARLHARBOUR. Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl Harbor" out there (there's a nasty nip in the air)

PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks

SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person

TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women

Happy Weekend everyone

]:)

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Real Life Simpsons

by DugaDugDug In reply to Friday Yuk

http://www.davesdaily.com/videoclips/320-the-real-life-simpsons.htm

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choke choke

by stargazerr In reply to Real Life Simpsons

That was hilarious.... will someone get that little bone out of my throat please .....

Oh wait, I am a vegetarian ....

]:)

~Mutters: I think that was a bad joke~

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SG! Really!

by gadgetgirl In reply to choke choke

Saying things like "get that little bone out of my throat" when Dawg is around?

Are you sure you want to say that?!

Really??!!

<looks around for a red glow from the west....>

oh, it's ok, no Mambo on the skyline - just yet



GG

]:)

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<looks at watch... calculates> ... Probably because

by stargazerr In reply to SG! Really!

the red glow is hidden in the pitch darkness that still drapes the west.

Erm GG .... You will keep quiet about this, wont you?? I cant believe how I made such a mistake. I cant even go and edit my post since you have posted an answer to it .... How?? How?? How could I have said something like that .... ??


~mutter mutter ... How did I fail to recognise that little DE... grumble grumble~

]:)

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hey,

by Jaqui In reply to <looks at watch... calcul ...

better a "little" bone than a big one. ]:)

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That depends Jaqui

by stargazerr In reply to hey,

If we are talking about the throat .... maybe you are right ... Otherwise ... I beg to differ ...

]:)

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I dunno..

by maecuff In reply to That depends Jaqui

even about the throat... it has it's merits..

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That depends Jaqui

by stargazerr In reply to hey,

and i leave it at that ]:)

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I'm talking

by Jaqui In reply to That depends Jaqui

stuck in the throat.

and eeeewwww you would use a cow's thigh bone for THAT?!?!?! ]:)

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Now, Jaqui

by gadgetgirl In reply to hey,

SG can have whatever size of bones she prefers.....

She and I don't discriminate.

Well, shedoesn't

<woman cannot survive on length alone.....>

]:)

GG

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