General discussion


Friday Yuk

By HAL 9000 Moderator ·
The Mafia has caused all the current politicians and bureaucrats to visit a specially built city in the middle of nowhere for an all important international meeting concerning recent world events.

It is planned to be a month long meeting so it was necessary to put on 5 star accommodation for all those involved as well as defending them with the cream of the different countries military to prevent any intrusions or other things that may divert the current crop of Politicians and Bureaucrats from their hard work. As this is supposed to be a unilateral agreement all parties have been invited and with what is on offer none could take the chance in not attending, This invitation was open to all the currently serving Politicians, Bureaucrats and anyone who has ever stood for election and all their families. Of course because they are working hard there is plentiful entertainment provided for them all to let their hair down and party on after the work of the day is finished.

Because of this very kind invitation to all concerned these people have jumped at the chance and not only have their front trotters in the trough but have actually climbed right in and you can only see their tails sticking out. The entire area has naturally been passed as a ?No Go Area? so there are no interruptions and there is no outside communication allowed that is not monitored by the organizing body for security.

Two Weeks into the conference the Mafia makes a demand to the rest of the world to hand over all their available money by the end of that week and show the most powerful Atomic Bomb mounted on the top of the central building which if detonated will level the entire area for a radius of 300 miles.

The demand is simple if you don?t hand over all your money they will not let off the bomb and you?ll all be stuck with the Politicians that you have but of you pay they will all be removed from the face of the planet never to be seen again in an act of Humanitarian Work.

Payments can be made by filling in the form over the Internet to

Hurry there are only 2 weeks left before the time runs out and if they do not receive enough money all the Politicians and Bureaucrats will be allowed to leave.

If this proves successful we can look forward to future meetings like this for Lawyers Accountants and so on as the need arises.

Remember all donations to

Hurry up we don?t want these people to get loose again do we?

All credit Cards and Bank Accounts accepted!

And Yes It's Friday as it's just gone 12.02 AM on the 9-12-05 or 12-9-05 EST AU for our US Fiends.

Col ]:)

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Hey old man!

by ITgirli In reply to Friday Yuk

Isn't it past your bed time?

You just love to pull that "it's Friday here first!" card, don't you?

Happy Friday! I'm still eating lunch on Thursday.

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by mjd420nova In reply to Hey old man!

Got behind last week and wants to make up for it and jumped the gun

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Actually it was 12.02 AM

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Friday??

on Friday the 9th when I posted that one. I'm just trying to get one up on those in Pommy Land who seem to get in early.

If you like I can set up that URL to accept money instead of leaving it an inactive link. :)

Col ]:)

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Well I am +10 hours on GMT

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Hey old man!

So I'm making the most of it just this once and as I work mostly nights actually it's in the middle of my working day.

Just think of it this way when I posted this it's 4.43 AM GMT and I've just woken up and am getting ready for another days/nights work while you are all tucked up in bed asleep. :)

Col ]:)

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Ahem, Colin

by jardinier In reply to Well I am +10 hours on GM ...

Civilized Australians are now in Daylight Saving, which I think means we are GMT + 11.

Sorry about you Queensland yokels.

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You know what they say about us Jules

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Ahem, Colin

When you arrive in Queersland during summer you turn your watch forward 1 hour and your calender back 50 years. :)

That was true when Surgeo Be Often Peeded Upon was Premier and still true now why they can not get with the act and do Daylight Saving is well beyond me but it's a real pain in the you know where. But I did hear an explanation recently and that was that with Daylight Saving the curtains in Parliament House faded faster so the Pollies don't want any of it because it's way too expensive for them. :^O

But on the up side we get to celebrate New Years twice with a hour of each other and only need to drive for 5 minutes.

Col ]:)

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The legless parrot

by jardinier In reply to Friday Yuk

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I
wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."

"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."

The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."

"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective,
so the truth is, nobody wants me because I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!"

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he
sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.

"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie."

"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.

"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"

"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over...."

Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Damned if I know. I got an erection and fell off my perch!"

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