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Friday Yuk

By GuruOfDos ·
"If skirts become much shorter,"
Said the typist with a blush,
"There'll be two more cheeks to powder
and a lot more hair to brush!"

Kids in the front seat cause accidents.
Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

The boy stood on the burning deck
and wondered why he'd been born.
His father said "You wouldn't have been,
if the rubber hadn't torn!"

It's been a slow week!

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YAY!!!

by stargazerr In reply to Friday Yuk

it is cool when someone starts a friday yuk on a friday....and cooler when 2 people start two friday yuks on the same friday :)

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But will be

by V_man In reply to Friday Yuk

a great weekend!

Sotally Tober
Starkle starkle little twink
who the heck you are I think
I'm not under what you call
the alcofluence of incohol
I'm just a little slort of sheep
I'm not drunk like tinkle peep
I don't know who is me yet
but the drunker I stand here the longer I get
Just give me one more drink to fill me cup
'cuz I got all day sober to Sunday up.

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I laughed so much...

by stargazerr In reply to But will be

I choked ... Brilliant Piece of poetry

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Forgot to give credit...

by V_man In reply to I laughed so much...

written by David Hudgins. Have a great weekend all.

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CHINESE PROVERBS

by jdclyde In reply to Friday Yuk

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who run in front of car get tired.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who scratch *** should not bite fingernails.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who drive like ****, bound to get there.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

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They say...

by GuruOfDos In reply to CHINESE PROVERBS

To err is human. To really ball$ it up takes a computer.

Money talks. Mine's usually saying "Goodbye!"

Happiness can't buy money.

Fighting for peace is like $crewing for virginity.

The difference between a virgin and a light-bulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb.

I went out with an Irish Catholic girl once but I didn't make any headway. You can take the Girl out of Cork...

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jd, you missed one......

by gadgetgirl In reply to CHINESE PROVERBS

Chinese say:

Man who masturbate in biscuit tin f*****g crackers!



GG

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another one

by Peter Spande In reply to Friday Yuk

Started a different Friday Yuk post before I found this one- i'm reposting here.

A man and a woman die a week before they are to marry. They both arrive in Heaven and, after initial relief at both being together in heaven and not ****, they go to Gabriel and ask to be married.
Gabriel answers, "I've never heard of people marrying and heaven but I will investigate." He leaves the couple and they anxiously await his answer.

Months follow and no word from Gabriel.

Finally, Gabriel returns. "I'm very happy to report that you can in fact get married," he says.

"Well, we have another question" says the man hesitantly.

"Yes," says the woman, "you've been gone so long that we started having doubts. We won't get married unless we know we can also get a divorce."

Gabriel can't believe what he hears and says, "It took me three months to find a priest in heaven and now you want me to find a lawyer too!"

Happy Friday everyone.

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Not the first time it's happened

by jdclyde In reply to another one

and won't be the last.

Better to get two than to not have one!

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erm.....

by gadgetgirl In reply to Not the first time it's h ...

does that mean you're bragging or complaining???



GG

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