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friday yuk

By blieffring ·
High security systems will have honeypot folders to distract intruders from real systems. It has alarms set to go off if any files are moved or viewed and very tempting names on folders and files.
What names would you use on your files and folders?:

Management Expense Reports and Credit Card Numbers

Pornography Intercepts
Female
Male
Hetero
Gay
Other

mgrpnslth.xls

Preapproved open billing contract suppliers and contacts
Computers
Software
Air Lines
Restaurants
Booth Girls
Models
Escorts
Hookers
Drug suppliers

System Layout, Addresses, and Passwords

Internet Router Addresses and Passwords

Swiss Bank Account Numbers

Bill Gates

Weapons Launch Codes and frequencies

Pam Anderson Cam

**** Chaney Cam

Coke Secret Formula

Credit Report Secret Formula

How Dogs Think

How Women Think

How Men Think (link to how dogs think)

How Teenagers Think (link to null: )

FBI Internet Agents and Trace Assignments

CIA Current Operations

NSA

CEO Replacement

What else should be in here?

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Hey, somebody started one on FRIDAY

by ozi Eagle In reply to friday yuk

Hey, somebody started one on FRIDAY, down under time.
My offering

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a biscuit in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shall not weigh more than thy fridge.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

25. It's not the jeans that make your bum look fat.

26. If you had to identify the reason why the human race has not achieved its full potential, that word would be "meetings".

27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

29. You should not confuse your career with your life.

30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

31. Never lick a steak knife.

32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we put the clocks back.

34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

35. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

36. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

37. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

38. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

39. Your friends love you anyway.

40. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

41. All things being equal, fat people use more soap.

42. The more you run over a possum the flatter it gets.

43.No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

44 Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

45 When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

46 Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

47 If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

48 You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

49 Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

51. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

52. The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap

53. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk

54. and why 54 things???????????

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Some definitions and clarifications :)

by stargazerr In reply to friday yuk

If you guys have read some of them already.....pardon me...but I am sure there is some new stuff there for everyone ... enjoy :)

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage

5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the
minds of either".

6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..

9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to **** in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father : A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails......

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