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Friday Yuk

By Oz_Media ·
Well first of all I had to laugh at this one. It was pointed out on a local rock stationtoday,

Google: Failure

And a yuk to boot (as if I can top that):
Warning, may be offensive to some readers
{must be over 18 post your credit card number here _______)

What men would do if they had a ****** for a day

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.

8. See if they could finally do the splits.

7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.

4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.

3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.

2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.

1. Finally find that damned G-spot

Happy Friday, have a good weekend!

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reminded me of...

by jck In reply to Friday Yuk

Beavis and Butthead.

I think most guys would go on welfare and stay home and mess with it all day.

Uh huh huh...come to Butthead...uh huh huh huh ]:)

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What are a redneck's last words?

by BHunsinger In reply to Friday Yuk
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in a truck

by TonytheTiger In reply to What are a redneck's last ...

Here. Hold my beer and watch this!

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by ITgirli In reply to Friday Yuk

Seamus was driving down the street in a sweat because he
had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
Looking up toward heaven, he said "Lord, take pity on me.
If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every
Sunday for the rest of my life and give up whiskey."

Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Seamus looked up
again and said "Never mind. I found one."

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Another one about Seamus

by Montgomery Gator In reply to faith

Sean asked his good friend Seamus if he would pour a bottle of Irish Whiskey over his grave if he died first. Seamus said he would, "but only if I could pass it through my kidneys first".

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and another

by anykey??? In reply to Another one about Seamus

Seamus is sitting in the pub, half sh!tfaced and lamenting on how life turns out without your control.

He says look at the church across the street, I built that by myself with my own two hands and no help from no one, but do they call me Seamus the church builder? NOOOOOOOO!!!!

I build the wrought iron fence around the cemetary with nothing but a fire some iron a hammer and my own two hands, but do they call me Seamus the fence builder? NOOOOO!!!

I laid every single brick on every single street in this town by myself without any help whatsoever, but do they call me Seamus the bricklayer? NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

but you get caught fvcking one godd@mn sheep, and everyone knows you by name.

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The Blond Public Servant

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Friday Yuk

Two bone weary public servants were working their little hearts and souls out. Their department was just too busy for staff to take flexitime. But there had to be a way.

One of the two public servants suddenly lifted his head. ?I know how to get some time off work,? the man whispered.
?How?? hissed the blonde on the next workstation.

Instead of answering he jumped up on his desk, kicked out a couple of ceiling tiles and hoisted himself. ?Look!? He hissed, then swinging his legs over a metal pipe, hung upside down.

Within seconds his supervisor emerged from the department head?s office at the far end of the floor. He saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and asked him what he thought he was doing.

?I?m a light bulb? answered the public servant.

?I think you need some time off,? barked his supervisor. ?Get out of here - that?s and order - and I don?t want to see you back here until you have had two weeks break after finishing your treatment with the departments Shrink! Do you understand me??

?Yes Sir? the public servant meekly answered, then jumped down, logged off his computer and left. The blonde was hot on his heals.

?Where do you think you?re going?? Barked the Boss.

?Home,? she said lightly. ?I can?t work in the dark.?

Cheers guys

Col ]:)

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food for thought

by anykey??? In reply to Friday Yuk

What does a guy with a 12" d!ck have for breakfast?
This morning I had a cup of coffee and a donut

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by jck In reply to food for thought

are one sick puppy.

Ever thought about joining the Swill Consortium?

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Swill Consortium?

by anykey??? In reply to you...

You mean to tell me that it is not just some internet urban legend.

You are d@mn right I will where do I sign my name

BTW, do you know what a wicker box is
that is what Elmer Fudd wants to do to Britney Spears

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