General discussion

Locked

Friday Yuk

By Oz_Media ·
Well yet another week has come to an end, a quick one this time. Well, at least we can spend the weekends at home.

IN PRISON... you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON... you get three meals a day.
AT WORK... you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON... you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK... you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON... the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK... you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON... you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK... you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON... you get your own toilet.
AT WORK... you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family.

IN PRISON... all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required
AT WORK... you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON... you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK... you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON... you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK... they are called managers.

So why is it, again, that we work?

Have an excellent weekend everyone! :)

________________________________________________

This conversation is currently closed to new comments.

60 total posts (Page 1 of 6)   01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05   Next
| Thread display: Collapse - | Expand +

All Comments

Collapse -

I need to commit a felony

by Jessie In reply to Friday Yuk

... or become insane... that way, I could go to an asylum and my kids could get my social security for me being disabled... or maybe I can figure some other way to become disabled, and THEN I can just stay home with the kids and collect the money I've been putting into social security all these years... before the government spends it all!!!

Collapse -

Jessie all you have to do is

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to I need to commit a felony

Admit to like working IT and admit that you are a "Certified" Microsoft Partner that will get you locked away for assessment and then allowed home under constant medication so you can just look at a blank wall and the paint pealing off it and think that it's amazing.

But you might not be able to afford the Drugs as I understand that they are really expensive in the US. :^O

Col ]:)

Collapse -

by Jessie In reply to Jessie all you have to do ...

I can't admit to being a Certifiable MS Professional... I can only admit to aspiring to become one... does that make me insane or just a wannabe? Actually, I really don't WANT to become a MCP, but it would appear that my career requires it. Blech!!! If I can do the damn job, why do I need the letters on my resume? It just doesn't make sense to me... but then, I'm a logical woman (oxymoron?) and I tend to get myself in trouble being too honest in job interviews.

Collapse -

Well Jessie

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to

Have you ever gone to an interview and asked "What do you have to offer me that would make me want to work here?"

When you get to that stage you're way past it in the sanity stakes I know as that was how I used to approach interviews. At one I was so bad that the project never went ahead because I told than that following every one of their safety procedures I could create a Fission reaction that would take out all of Sydney in the Blink of an Eye. Some fools wanted to put me in charge of a Cyclotron. :^O

There where 2 distinct groups there the Industry Guys all of whom knew me and how I would behave and then the Bureaucrats who thought that they where interviewing me for the position and couldn't quite handle my attitude in asking them all "What's in it for me?" From that point on things went downhill fast which is really a shame as we do need that cyclotron here but the bureaucrats can not come to terms with the fact that they don't know it all and they may get some reckless person like me who does the right thing and ignores them at every opportunity.

At that particular installation there was a Greenpeace protest and the protesters just walked through the main gate past the security guy which I find unpardonable but the Bureaucrats thought it was A OK because no one actually got inside the Reactor Building. If I was running the place they wouldn't have even got onto the grounds let alone be allowed to stroll as they liked through the front gate. :)

Good to hear Bubs is doing OK but when she gets older she'll not thank you for all that Fat that you have piled on her now.

Col ]:)

Collapse -

don't feel alone

by jck In reply to

I'm working on my MCSD in .NET 2003 right now.

Used to be you could learn it and do your work.

Now ya gotta pay $150 per exam and carry around a piece of paper to prove you learned it.

Collapse -

And from what I've seen...

by Jessie In reply to don't feel alone

most of what they make you learn is worthless in the real world anyway. I know so many moron's with MCSEs, it's stupid! I have to get this stupid piece of paper just to have the chance to prove I can do what this moron with the same piece of paper can't do.

Collapse -

Not only that..

by maecuff In reply to And from what I've seen.. ...

But you also have breasts, which seems to be an impediment. I've never quite understood that. I mean, we girls don't think with our breasts..unlike, well, I won't go there.

Collapse -

And the bigger those impediments are...

by Jessie In reply to Not only that..

the lower a man's IQ gets... have you noticed this? Small chested women, can on occassion have an intelligent conversation with a man without him staring at her chest (rare but possible) but the bigger the cups, the dumber men get! I swear! I'm gonna start wearing a sign across my boobs that says "Look UP" with an arrow towards my face!

Collapse -

especially

by maecuff In reply to Not only that..

since you just had a kid. Got to be worse than usual. I used to be a consultant and was assigned to help a junior programmer with his coding skills. I swear, if you asked him, he wouldn't be able to tell you what color my eyes are, but I bet he'd know my bra size. And truthfully, he wasn't a bad guy. Disappointing, but not overly surprising..

Collapse -

maecuff..

by Jaqui In reply to Not only that..

what about when the guy knows bra size better than the girl?
I've picked out bras for female friends and they fit better than the one's the girls were picking. she was off by a cup size.

btw, her eyes are green.
her hair is brown

5'10"
3
28"
26"
135lbs
( last time I saw her )

but for me, eyes are what really catch my attention on a woman. :)

I have a soft spot for almond shaped brown eyes, and long dark hair.
( go figger, I married a blue eyed platinum blonde )

Back to Community Forum
60 total posts (Page 1 of 6)   01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05   Next

Related Discussions

Related Forums