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Friday Yuk

By Oz_Media ·
Well that was a fast week, long days actually working but enough of that, it's FRIIIIIIDAAAAAAAAYYY!!! Again!

10 Guinness's

An American walks into an Irish pub and says, "I'll give anyone $100 if they can drink 10 Guinness's in 10 minutes."
Most people just ignore the absurd bet and go back to their conversations.
One guy even leaves the bar.
A little while later that guy comes back and asks the American, "Is that bet still on?"
So the bartender lines 10 Guinness's up on the bar the Irishman drinks them all in less than 10 minutes.
As the American hands over the money he asks, "Where did you go when you just left?"
The Irishman answers, "I went next door to the other pub to see if I could do it."

Have a great weekend all!!

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Jr goes to college

by jdclyde In reply to Friday Yuk

A young Tennessee boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through the first semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents had given him for school. Then he gets an idea.

He calls his Redneck father. "Dad," he says," you
won't believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here that will teach Fido how to talk!"

"That's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do I get him in that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1000," the boy says, "I'll get him into the course."

So, his father sends the dog and the $1000. About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again.

"So how's Fido doing, son?" his father asks.

"Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this, they've had such good results with this program, that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"

"READ!" says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?"

"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class. His
father sends the money. The boy has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog.

When he gets home, his father is all excited...
"Where's Fido? I just can't wait to see him talk and read something!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This
morning, when I got out of the shower, Fido was in the living room kicking back in the Recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked: "Is your daddy still cheating on your mama and messing' around with that cute little redhead next door" ?

The father says, "I hope you SHOT that damn dog,"

"Sure did, Dad! I sure did!"

"That's my boy!"

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What I saw on a truck window today

by jdclyde In reply to Friday Yuk

on the way into work this morning I saw in the window of a truck

"My other toy has t!ts"

Highlight of my day so far!

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Well how's this for one?

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to What I saw on a truck win ...

A few years ago the Government was running a campaign to protect women and the womens magazine's where supplying bumper stickers that read "Stop Violence Against Woman" so some bright sod made up his own bumper stickers and was in the process of selling them that read "STOP VIOLENT WOMEN!"

Unfortunately when I saw one and found out where they where being sold that had sold out of them and I couldn't get one.

So that one goes on my list of things that I wanted but couldn't get like the Bumper Sticker that reads "I Swerve For Penguins but Drive Through Windows."

However I do have one that reads "If I'm going to Hell I'm going on a Ducati!" and once I get it redone to look much better I'll stick it on the wifes car.

Col ]:)

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My personal best

by jdclyde In reply to Well how's this for one?

Growing up as a long haired wild man, I had a van.

In the back window was a bumber sticker which read

"Don't laugh mister, your daughter might be in here"

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by gadgetgirl In reply to My personal best

I thought I was going to get some scuttlebutt out of that subject line...

that's twice already today you've had me crying with laughter!!


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Story of my life

by jdclyde In reply to ~giggling~

I want to make women moan and all they do is laugh at me..... :^O

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by gadgetgirl In reply to Story of my life

Laughing WITH you, my darling.... never AT you!!



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by jdclyde In reply to no,no,no,no,no.....
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by gadgetgirl In reply to no,no,no,no,no.....




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by Jaqui In reply to no,no,no,no,no.....

you'll have to wait until you see him in person to say you won't laugh at him.

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